snowball in hell

welcome to autumn

so i'm declaring it early halloween season here at our house as we've had our first rain of autumn & i've already done my regular halloween shopping, we are a very halloween oriented family & tis the season when i buy anything from ghostly tea towels for my kitchen to glow in the dark soap bottles.. i welcome the cooling off & onset of the friendlier time of year for us pnw vampires :) it did start off kinda scary this morning after 3 am when i was awakened by a loud screeching crash! we had a hit & run adventure, some young guy crashing his car into cars along our street & ending up stuck under our hedges & trees out in our frontyard! a neighbor had followed him in his damaged car & kept him there talking to him like a dad while we awaited the police, but the guy panicked & decided to flee in his car, driving around in a circle in our frontyard & leaving behind his bumper (with license plate) in our bushes.. good neighbors came out to ask if everyone was ok, & thankfully no one was hurt, this actually could've gone much worse. the police arrived with cameras recording the scene & we won't file charges since damage was minimal, our mailbox with the black cat & his reflective marble eyes needs a little adjusting (we mark the neighborhood kitty crossing at our curve in the road, where neighbor kitties & ferals tend to cross & often wind up in our backyard ;) anyway, i'd like to just go back to boring now, please? i understand the young guy was panicked & probably high, but i hope he decided to turn himself in to our local police station nearby?

my pumpkin patch is trying. we have healthy plants & vines, one with great big giant leaves, nice yellow blossoms, but no pumpkins. this has happened before, not sure why? we even have our own backyard bees that we discovered live in a hole in the ground out there.. maybe there's just not adequate sun amongst all our big trees? as i've said before, down in socal i planted a few seeds in a tiny spot & had a nice big pumpkin for halloween in no time.. i may fail with great frequency at this & other endeavors in this life, but i keep trying. & yes, mine is the most sincere pumpkin patch, the great pumpkin must see that, right?

in years past we would hit the halloween spirit stores & also the local goodwill shop, letting fate decide what our halloween personas might be for each year, according to what masks we'd find available to play with.. ;) this resulted in our family halloween album here: (sound up!) it started out tame & ended up terrifying, which is why we stopped.. i'll just say one reason why. timmy. beware!! :O

i've regressed to quite the reclusive vampire since the pandemic, may let my bored sasquatch husband bring me home some free comicbooks come halloween comicfest time this year? oh but i have cool additions to my ghostcloset that i'll have to post about in october, i'll update my antifashion ensemble accordingly at that time..

i'm lost half the time in elder scrolls online these days, & becoming a content creator in my own right capturing all kinds of shorts & posting them up to my youtube page here, along with sweet moments with our kitty, alice <3 gaming enthusiasts should check out raven's channel too! (please subscribe!)

meanwhile i invite anyone curious to visit my secret ghostgallery art collection up at gumbyland, my photography albums & themed mini houses..
& of course my other blog, the lost & found toy blog, where i still post regularly, usually on weekends..

59 more days! halloween cometh!!!
back to talking to myself in the comments..

bren/ghost

sail us to the moon

why am i so obsessed with the moon? well i spent time there as a child, tried to draw pictures of it, in secret of course, these pictures were torn up & hidden down at the bottom of a trashbin so as to never be discovered.. but later in life i was able to recreate my experiences here at my ghost gallery..

my 4th birthday happened to be the day man first walked on the moon & i'll always remember how we watched the black & white coverage on the little tv outside in our laundryroom off of the garage & then stepped outside to gaze up at the moon & wonder.. & of course i knew gumby went there..

i've had this strange affinity for the moon even through a lifelong history of classic migraines often with aura that were also brought on regularly by full moons or supermoons.. just recently i posted all moon related items up at my lost & found toys blog over the 4th of july weekend, as we love & photo the moon & stars regularly here at our house & my photo albums are full of my moon madness..

well, happy (early) bday to me, as the latest mysterious plushie dreadful just launched that i was commenting about after my last post..
(mr dad said 'get it'..)
i had been writing recently in my journal about something i call the 'sparkling dark'
it's this otherwordly feeling i remember from nights long ago in the city, often after my therapy sessions when we'd stop into petco or the grocery store before the drive home. i felt something that seemed so dark & cold, but i described it as 'sparkling dark'..
one night as my mind drifted to that feeling again as i laid here unable to sleep i realized..
the 'sparkling dark' is dissociation.. just like in childhood when i lived alone for awhile in my crater on the moon..
that place still comforts me despite it's darkness. it's cold clean stillness is so safe.
i had to have american mcgee's newest creation to go along with my ocd & anxiety bunnies,
my migraine rabbit, scruffy bumps & the love kitty in my ghost closet.. i've posted about these before at the lost & found toy blog.. american mcgee's alice is perhaps my favorite videogame world ever & he now makes plushie dreadful toys, often for those of us dealing with various health conditions, physical & mental..
& in fact i've played a part in crowd designs, on the migraine rabbit in particular i was the one who experiences aura..
& american added a shooting star to represent the scintillating scotoma some of us get before onset..
(i'm still dealing with a migraine at the moment actually.. one that began of course with the rose supermoon before the holiday..)

so why not come over & visit my closet friends at the lost & found, in my ghost closet, or in my rows of never opened doors..

meanwhile the lyrics of the day are old ones from thom:

i sucked the moon
i spoke too soon
& how much did it cost?
i was dropped from
moonbeams
& sailed on shooting stars
maybe you'll
be president
but know right from wrong
or in a flood
you'll build an ark
& sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon..

click the links scattered through this post for more mysterious toys..
& of course i'll be posting about this latest bunny at the lost & found once it arrives <3

yes, i am out of my mind, but i feel safer there.
more moon madness to continue in the comments..

bren/ghost

please..

so i've been starting to question, do lemondrops even actually melt?
looking back through old pix i still believe our beloved kitties come back to us, like toxic's tabby ditto & my special therapy kitty snug <3 & i came across an old page from my highschool notes that i remember holding up in the schoolbus window on a fieldtrip to passing cars.. lols :D

i can see the end of my life as a vampire in skyrim wrapping up soon, don't really know what world i can escape into next? i'm working on 3 different mini houses & taking on spring cleaning before the real heat closes us in.. haven't ventured out yet for a drive like i wanted because we've been too busy with other things, worried i'm becoming a full-on housebound agoraphobic like i was in the dim past.. but i guess things could be worse?

i keep a glut of photo albums up at typepad here that feel like my time machine: my photo albums (sound up)

meanwhile the lyrics of the day are classic radiohead & my sentiments precisely these days:

a heart that's full up like a landfill
a job that slowly kills you
bruises that won't heal
you look so tired & unhappy
bring down the government
they don't, they don't speak for us
i'll take a quiet life
a handshake of carbon monoxide
& no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
silent, silent

this is my final fit
my final bellyache with
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises, please..
such a pretty house
& such a pretty garden
& no alarms & no surprises (get me out of here)
no alarms & no surprises (get me out of here)
no alarms & no surprises, please..

ok so this is cool..

more rambling thoughts to ponder in the comments to come..

bren

it's not easy, greenbean..

rough days for me.. but i'm so thankful to my brother-in-law who drove up from socal to put in our new furnace/ac units over the last couple days :)
we haven't seen family in 20 years so it really meant alot to us all to give him a hug, even though i'm in migraine management mode at the moment with that full flower moon looming.. i've always liked sad kermit, & these song lyrics came to me during my latest anxiety attack, perhaps me trying to comfort my own inner kid? but in typical transposed weird ocd style i got the above earworm stuck in my head for awhile.. anyway these are my lyrics of the day.. more in the comments as i can..

it's not easy being green
having to spend each day the color of leaves
when i think it could be nicer
being red or yellow or gold
or something much more colorful like that
it's not easy being green
it seems you blend in
with so many other ordinary things
& people tend to pass you over
'cause you're not standing out
like flashy sparkles in the water
or stars in the sky
but green's the color of spring
& green can be cool & friendly-like
& green can be big like an ocean
or important like a mountain
or tall like a tree
when green is all there is to be
it could make you wonder why
but why wonder, why wonder?
i am green & it'll do fine
it's beautiful
& i think it's what i want to be..

-jim henson

i'm not crying, you're crying..

my echo, my shadow & me..

we three, we're all alone
living in a memory
my echo, my shadow & me

we three, we're not a crowd
we're not even company
my echo, my shadow & me

what good is the moonlight
the silvery moonlight that shines above?
i walk with my shadow
i talk with my echo
but where is the one i love?

we three, we'll wait for you
even till eternity
my echo, my shadow & me..

- the ink spots

 

the sun is shining brightly this spring morning, the wild winds & rain of yesterday seem to be over?

i should be happy? raven is all recovered from his harrowing debacle & now we're focused on putting in our backyard flowerbed/plot, where i'll soon plant my pumpkin seeds & try yet again after years of failure.. baby trees from the arbor day foundation & seed stones are all in place & we'll attempt to sow grass seed for a backyard lawn where we pulled out all the old worn out decking.. hoping for the best.

 

but i noticed after about a day of relief i kinda just crashed back into my baseline lonely meloncholy, missing my girls, feeling sadness & loss, & finding it hard to be hopeful.. i keep trying though.. the song of the day is from the ink spots, it plays here at the end of my fallout76 goodbye youtube from a couple years back.. i miss vault 11 & hope there will eventually be a fallout special edition like they've done with skyrim, if so i'll head back there to rescue kitties from the post apoc wasteland & set up my old lost & found toy & soda shop like the old days? (click links here to visit..)

i'm working on a handful of projects in various stages of completion through the spring & summer, as i shield myself from the heat & sunlight.. i think of my pmle/sun allergy vampirism as a sort of reverse S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) in that i get depressed at the time others feel happy? i see everyone happy & it just makes me feel more alone.. like ok, let's go curl up somewhere in the dark & hibernate till autumn?

except i can't, i have my guys & alice to look after ;) & those pumpkin seeds to tend to..

in socal one dropped seed resulted in an accidental pumpkin i carved for halloween, but here in a rainforest it's been a real challenge..

but mine will be the most sincere pumpkin patch i assure you!

& the great pumpkin will visit one day,

i know this.

i'll post about it next halloween for sure..

 

bren/ghost

more as always in the comments..

 

ghost closet antifashion

antifashion in the time of coronavirus! ~

or subtitle 'yeah this is how bored i got' ~

so 2 years ago in march i posted my 'vault forever, surface never' post here ~

when i decided to have fun with my ghost closet antifashion t-shirts & 'no boring socks' collections ;) ~

as a vintage kid i have an extensive collection of retro & vintage clothing & wanted to bring it out & have some fun ~

so i ran a series of posts over at the lost & found toy blog accordingly ~

with a bunch of unlisted youtube shorts included for your enjoyment & amusement :D ~

starting with t-shirts of course & pants with lots of pockets ~

& ending with a lengthy 'no boring socks' finale! ~

since then i've added updates, so here is the complete finished list of posts, the ghost closet in all of its glory, complete with mysterious toys & my assistant, alice <3 ~

50 something emily the strange?

radioheadhead

everything alice

my music

ghost gallery art

skeletons in my closet

antifashion retro

johnny depp

vintage kids

nightmare before xmas

no boring socks!

antifashion update

more emily strange

kitty socks sunday with alice <3

closet skeleton

sad ghost club & bad kitties

nightmare before xmas update

more strange stuff

emu!

fred rogers

even more emily strange

radiohead & stickers

starry night boots

gothsocks

kittysocks

alice update (sometimes i'm alone, sometimes i'm not..)

halloween '23

so happy throwback thursday! continued in the comments as always..

bren/ghost

the pittypats

i've been thinking about my pittypat girls alot lately <3

maybe because it's freezing & i miss sleeping with them all around me at night?

so i thought i'd share their story here ~

it all started with tiny tabitha who we rescued from a local garage that had mama kitties & babies all hiding in the corners, we didn't want her to be alone & we'd already spotted a funny little white siamese mix kitten at our local pet shop so we brought her home too ~

meet tabitha sassafras pittypat & her 'flower sister' sabrina felina ~

we had a secure fenced in backyard down in warm sunny socal back then so at first they were backyard babies, playing in the flowerbeds & having a wild time..

but tabitha wanted to live inside.. so of course we let them in!

they were indoor/outdoor kitties & tabitha had many very cute boyfriends! (sabrina couldn't be less impressed with them..)

& soon she was 'with kittens' <3

sabrina felina was soon to be an auntie..

in spring of 2001 was the blessed event :D dan/raven stayed home from school & we sat with tabitha as she had 5 adorable pittypats, all daughters!

miette, snug, pickles, hepsebah & rose blue..

sabrina loved them just as if they were her own as well of course..

these were the best of times as our pittypats played & had a blast, but we soon realized we needed a bigger place..

so we bought a house! & mr dad closed in our backyard patio to make it a 'catio'.. (long before this was a thing..)

they had a gorgeous green ivy enclosed backyard to play in each day with dan as their shepherd watching over them with the cat toys to keep them safe & happy <3

but we needed a bigger house!! so eventually we tucked them all into their large carriers & drove an rv up here to portland ;)

where they lived the rest of their lives as happy indoor girls..

i love them with all my heart & i know they're still right here with me somehow & that we'll all be together again someday.. meanwhile i comfort myself with all our home movies which just remind me they had the happiest lives of any kitties i've ever known <3

in memory:

sabrina felina (spring 2000 - august 24, 2018) our funny bunny..
miss tabitha ~ (spring 2000 - february 21 2017) my fluffyhead daughter..
hepsebah (boopy lou) (4-26-2001 ~ 8-25-2017) who made giant leaps of joy, our gaming partner..
snugglebug (april 26, 2001 - september 20, 2019) my special cheshire kitty..
miss rose (4-26-2001 ~ 8-02-2019) raven's girl..
miss miette (4-26-2001 ~ 3-31-2015) our hello kitty..
miss pickles (4-26-2001 ~ 2-7-2013) daddy's girl..

toxic had so many wild kitties & we love & remember them all..

now we have feisty alice who keeps us all on our toes!

much more up at my youtube channel & photo albums here..

bren