here's another diabolical selfie to update..
(mr dad says toxic made this same face in our old home movies..lol)

my first glimpse of 2019 was of the crescent moon & venus out my bedroom window.. we haven't had any snow here yet in portland, but the mountain is gorgeous & white & now we are surrounded by freezing fog, everything's covered in frost, so i'm hopeful ~
new year's day moon

we're getting alot done on innsmouth house & i'm still painting my acrylic abstracts despite freezing hands..

my only resolution is to try to worry less this year.. lol

lyrics of the day:

all the holes at once are coming alive
set free, out of sight & out of mind
they're lonely and they're prey
the one you light your fires to keep away
is crawling out upon its belly
and all you have to do is say yes..
all the birds stay up in the trees
all the fish swim down to the deep
they're lonely and they're prey
i am here
come to me before it's too late
the one you light your fires to keep away
is crawling out upon its belly
all you have to do is say yes.

rorschach

bren/ghost

WARNING!!
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welcome to my migraine.

bullet with butterfly wings/smashing pumpkins

the world is a vampire sent to drain
secret destroyers hold you up to the flames
and what do i get for my pain?
betrayed desires and a piece of the game..
even though i know.. i suppose i'll show
all my cool and cold like old job..
despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage
despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage
then someone will say what is lost
can never be saved..
despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage..

now i'm naked..
nothing but an animal..
but can you fake it for just one more show?
and what do you want?
i want a change..
and what have you got
when you feel the same?
tell me i'm the only one
tell me there's no other one
jesus was an only son
tell me i'm the chosen one
jesus was an only son for you..

despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage
despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage
then someone will say what is lost
can never be saved
despite all my rage i am still just
a rat in a cage
and i still believe that i cannot be saved..
and i still believe that i cannot be saved..
and i still believe that i cannot be saved..
and i still believe that i cannot be saved.

zero/smashing pumpkins

my reflection.. dirty mirror
is no connection to myself..
i'm your lover.. i'm your zero
i'm the face in your dreams of glass..
so save your prayers
for when we're really gonna need 'em..
throw all your cares and fly..
wanna go for a ride?

she's the one for me..
she's all i really need.. oh yeah..
she's the one for me..
emptiness is loneliness
and loneliness is cleanliness
and cleanliness is godliness
and god is empty.. just like me.

intoxicated with the madness..
i'm in love with my sadness..
bullshit fakers.. enchanted kingdoms..
the fashion victims chew their charcoal teeth..
i never let on that i was on a sinking ship..
i never let on that i was down.

you blame yourself for what you can't ignore..
you blame yourself for wanting more..
she's the one for me..
she's all i really need.. oh yeah..
she's the one for me..
she's my one and only.