snowball in hell

vault forever - surface never

i'm notoriously not a spring person.
that said, here are some screengrabs of my latest home movie: the ghost closet
(or antifashion in the time of coronavirus)

no one seems to be around
they must've all gone off without me again
i think i'll head home

maybe i'll find them gathered 'round my doorstep
oh to sleep in a comfortable bed

no one seems to be around
they must've all gone off
without me again
i think i'll head home
i think i'll head home

there's someone i'd like to see
she never mentions a word to me
she reads Leviathan

i think i'll head home
i think i'll head home
i think i'll head home..

if all that grows starts to fade, starts to falter
oh let me inside, let me inside, not to wait
let all that run through the fields
through the quiet
go on with their own
on with their own hidden ways

when all the newness of gold travels far from
where it had once been
born like the earth over years

& when the acts of man
cause the ground to break open
oh let me inside, let me inside, not to wait

great are the sounds of all that live
& all that man can hold..

i have been cruel & kind without knowing
i fell into silence overwhelmed by these days
for i have been shown empty rulers
ruling all things

thinking the world was mine to lay hold of
i breathed in the promise of maiden & man
but each had their own illusions to hold onto

i only want to be left to my own ways
the rulers have won leaving all things undone

i stood in awe of the whole creation
gathered among them was the morning
giving all its rest

thinking the world was mine to be lost in
i ran with the freedom & sang in between

for i had the path of wonder
there before me..

i must be careful now in my steps
years of calculations & the stress

let me not get down if i'm walking with no one
& if i stumble from exhaustion

let me not be too consumed with this world
sometimes i want to go home
& stay out of sight for a long time

let me not be too concerned with this world
sometimes i want to go home
& stay out of sight for a long time..

all lyrics by midlake..

bren/ghost

ghost closet antifashion

antifashion in the time of coronavirus! ~

or subtitle 'yeah this is how bored i got' ~

so 2 years ago in march i posted my 'vault forever, surface never' post here ~

when i decided to have fun with my ghost closet antifashion t-shirts & 'no boring socks' collections ;) ~

as a vintage kid i have an extensive collection of retro & vintage clothing & wanted to bring it out & have some fun ~

so i ran a series of posts over at the lost & found toy blog accordingly ~

with a bunch of unlisted youtube shorts included for your enjoyment & amusement :D ~

starting with t-shirts of course & pants with lots of pockets ~

& ending with a lengthy 'no boring socks' finale! ~

since then i've added updates, so here is the complete finished list of posts, the ghost closet in all of its glory, complete with mysterious toys & my assistant, alice <3 ~

50 something emily the strange?

radioheadhead

everything alice

my music

ghost gallery art

skeletons in my closet

antifashion retro

johnny depp

vintage kids

nightmare before xmas

no boring socks!

antifashion update

more emily strange

kitty socks sunday with alice <3

closet skeleton

sad ghost club & bad kitties

nightmare before xmas update

more strange stuff

emu!

fred rogers

even more emily strange

radiohead & stickers

starry night boots

so happy throwback thursday! continued in the comments as always..

bren/ghost

winter winds

winter winds continue here, along with a wintry mix of rain & slush & cold..

as the year winds down to the end i can't help but have more & more thoughts of my sister..

on new year's eve it'll be 8 years of her lying there in her limbo..

she gave me the language of art & poetry, song lyrics & music ~

the world just seems so insane to me now ~

& i miss my girls..

i feel like hiding in my snowcave again..

click the links for more.. to be continued in the comments..

bren

scary merry xmas!

here we are already counting down the last days till xmas, it feels as if winter is breezing by too fast? perhaps due to my many stresses these days? we have all survived having our new roof & gutters installed, which i now think of as a rite of passage to becoming old, truly, the shock of the price alone aged us here, let alone the days of work over our heads & then the water torture of rain dripping over the head of my bed into a brand new metal downspout..
& the unreal event of hearing our skylights literally fly off of the house when the first gusts of east winds from the gorge came in.. i feel traumatized at best, but i'm still here, apparently.. our house is becoming perhaps fittingly, like the wonderland mystery manor, with strange & increasing modifications to our household in an attempt to stay a step ahead of our tiny gremlin, alice.. the most curious of kitties, who must leap to every height & chew each and every curious object she can find.. cord protectors, glass doors on all of our cabinets of collectible curiosities, high shelves & cabinets inside of closets.. curiouser & curiouser..
the last modification was due to her deciding she could probably fly up to the top of the already weirdly high cabinet i kept in my bathroom for jewelry & perfumes, etc.. she in fact could not, resulting in not only her crashing down to the floor but her busting one of the overhead incandescent globe style lightbulbs over the sink there, sending little broken bits of sharp glass & weird white powder everywhere & completely freaking out this poor ocd soul. :o thank goodness raven & mr dad were here to help carefully put everything right.. my hands are so dry with splits & literally bleeding from my raccoon-like hand-washing.. :/
(at least until her next great adventure?) 

so what better way to distract myself from my troubles than to tape a winter 2022 update to my ghost closet antifashion collection? yeah, i'm back.. posted the first portion at the lost & found here, the return of 50 something emily strange.. & there will be several more, as i have fun with the new clothes i don't really get to wear anywhere anymore as i'm regressed to quite the reclusive agoraphobic these days.. of course there will be more not at all boring socks!! & my ads of late make sure i do not run low, that is for certain.. my weakness for boredshopping is well calibrated into whatever formula devises my daily ads.. (click the links for some examples)

oh & i'm still hanging on with fellow resisters over on twitter despite the insanity..
but just in case i've set myself up on post, if anyone else would like to follow? 

more to come in the comments link below as usual..

more things behind the sun..

halloween is in only a couple weeks, but we've still had persistent high temps breaking records & pissing off us vampires, they call it 'augtober' :(
i'm still working on my upcoming halloween party dollscape, with alice's (Not.) help.. making chocolate halloween cupcakes for raven's birthday tomorrow, & sending off a gumby fun pack for my niece's son, at our local ups store which just happens to be next door to the baskin robbins president joe biden stopped by for ice-cream over the weekend before leaving portland :) posting at the lost & found toy blog all through october since it's my favorite time of year & i've been saving up cool stuff to share.. praying for emmanuel the emu, who is fighting to survive bird flu after almost all of his bird friends have been lost :(

mr dad & i are starting on some other long term winter mini house updates so we have some cool work we can do once the snow comes.. a large kafkaesque ladybug now resides in the attic of ladybug house & our original yellow dollhouse is now transforming into the 'liddell' yellow house ;) i'm doing better most days & am at what i think of as a normal weight now thanks to kitty therapy & self-inflicted ocd exposure therapy? trying my best, but struggling mentally at times as always.. i saw a van gogh quote recently that sums up being an infj pretty well i think 'i don't know if i'm extremely sensitive or life is unbearable?'
yep. long ago i kept a things behind the sun journal.. nowadays i'm penning my more things behind the sun journal.. 

i've made the realization over these last months that i am still as agoraphobic as i was in the dim past, i was just fortunate enough to be able to live a lifestyle that kept me safe & distracted from facing that fact, even from using that term.. for so long..

lyrics of the day still an old favorite from nick drake:

things behind the sun

please beware of them that stare
they'll only smile to see you while
your time away
& once you've seen what they have been
to win the earth just won't seem worth
your night or your day
who'll hear what i say?
look around you find the ground
is not so far from where you are
but don't be too wise
for down below they never grow
they're always tired & charms are hired
from out of their eyes
never surprise.

take your time & you'll be fine
& say a prayer for people there
who live on the floor
& if you see what's meant to be
don't name the day or try to say
it happened before

don't be shy you'll learn to fly
& see the sun when day is done
if only you see
just what you are beneath a star
that came to stay one rainy day
in autumn for free
just be what you'll be
please beware of them that stare
they'll only smile to see you while
your time away
& once you've seen what they have been
to win the earth just won't seem worth
your night or your day
who'll hear what I say?

open up the broken cup
let goodly sin and sunshine in
yes that's today
& open wide the hymns you hide
you'll find renown while people frown
at things that you say
but say what you'll say
about the farmers & the fun
& the things behind the sun
& the people around your head
who say everything's been said
& the movement in your brain
that sends you out into the rain..

 

continued as usual in the comments..

bren

wanderer

well it's june but still mercifully raining off & on, no summer yet.. sorry, but we're vampires here & detest the blazing sun & heat, a little light is ok, but i'll take the dark & a/c till autumn rolls around..

& rpg games. ah yes.. my great escape from the summertime blues over all the years has been in fantasy videogame worlds, & my son raven has followed in my tradition well..

it all started back in the old camper in the driveway when he was a toddler & i put that nes controller in his hands, thinking he'd love the cause & effect of running & jumping mario along..

um, yeah, he did love it! the rest is history.. i'll always remember him & mr dad coming in to watch me fight zeromus in final fantasy at the end, we all had marble fudge ice-cream & it left such an impression on him, it wasn't long before we got him mario paint & a few years later i introduced him to mystic quest as a beginner level fantasy rpg.. <3

he feared the undead kobolds pictured in my shadowgate game guides too & i worry i set up his lifelong zombie phobia due to that?

so eventually one summer of old we decided to tape our own 'game gallery' youtube videos of all our games, way back in the day when youtube was novel..

nostalgia gamers please come over to my youtube channel & check it out, everything from nes to xbox360, snippets of all our favorites & commentary.. 

it's down in my playlists here..

our game gallery includes kitties of course <3

& much more like this..

i also keep an extensive ghost pix game screenshot album of my own playthroughs here.. (sound up for our cool retro gaming mix)

these screenshots are from some of my favorites like bloodborne..

i do love the from software games & have played them to 100%/platinum wherever possible..

the ghost pix album starts out way back in elder scrolls oblivion & encompasses all the elder scrolls & dark souls games, fallout, american mcgee's alice, fable, etc on & on, & i'm still updating it..

i'm a wanderer & i've lived in these places basically, with my kitties right along side me through so much of them <3

i've even set up a lost & found toy shop in the post apoc world of fallout as well as my kitty sanctuary..

i'm often a cat myself..

& always a vampire ;)

i'm always looking for another beautiful place to get lost..

as i deal with all my issues..

& raven has his own youtube gaming channel now here.. (please subscribe)

he's an ocd completionist & is really exceptionally good.. it's been said he's so good that even his mom is good ;)

recently i invited him into my elden ring playthrough to help with a big battle..

so here's that capture for your enjoyment..

i'm getting into all the fashion of elden ring now, not unlike i did in bloodborne..

what do you think?

so i've changed my look from the basic astrologer's outfit to fia's robes
(fia - deathbed companion & giver of hugs) posted about it here at the lost & found yesterday too..

if you're a fellow gaming enthusiast be sure to check out my other blog, the lost & found toy blog, for extensive videogame posts & coverage, just click on videogames in the category list in the sidebar..

videogames are the closest thing i can find to a cure for the summertime blues..

ok, well there is winter.

more in the links & comments..

bren snowmoon/ghost