summertime blues (aint no cure..)

summer's definitely here. normally once it gets this hot we vampires tuck into the dark & hibernate until halloween season..

but alot has been going on here & it's hard for me to even talk about it even here at my secret old ghost blog..

my last comments here were after mr dad & his friend gerald climbed to the top of beacon rock over on the washington side of the gorge, such a gorgeous day, something that's been on his bucket list since he was a kid, i didn't want to climb it so i told him i'd only let him go with a friend, fortunately gerald's an emt, but all was well.. (click here for the pix..) he wore the gopro too so we now have what feels like our own personal episode of oregon field guide of the trek, very cool..

but then a week later my bigfoot husband had a medical emergency that was the most terrifying experience i've ever had, could've died, & we've all been trying to deal with ptsd/trauma issues ever since.

he works downstairs in his office & came up for lunch as usual, used the bathroom, but then i heard him calling out to me faintly, in distress, & i found him passing out unable to breathe. so there are graphic details here i'm going to skip, but he literally crashed over headfirst unmoving & hit his face/head, i was sure he was dead. but i reacted by thumping him on the back thinking, heart? airway? it eventually brought him back slightly to consciousness & dan was on the phone calling 911.. so the paramedics arrived so fast i am so thankful, this was all very drawn out & traumatic & ended up with him alive but then  hospitalized for days following what was clearly a pulmonary embolism. 

i have to say this was a shocking wake-up call for us all, dan & i driving & masking & back out among humans, john now on blood thinners back home in recovery having to let us help with the heavy lifting this life calls for rather than just pushing through everything like the sasquatch he is.. his friends have been such a blessing & therapy in itself visiting & supportive.. i've talked with my good old therapist/life coach, licia, through it all & relayed her supportive messages to the guys as well as we go in & out of ptsd trauma states & then start trying to get back to any sense of 'normal'.. so appreciative of these good people around us..

so i've also had to deal with stress induced migraine with aura after many years, & i'm still obviously struggling to feel like anything will be ok, my insecurity/trauma issues were right there even before this occurred, even things that comfort me can be so tinged with meloncholy as well due to my lost kitty girls & family members.. even posting here reminds me of my old pal emma. miss you em..

but i've posted cool stuff at the lost & found this weekend & made my retro 3 layer orange jello today for the guys.. we're still here.. alice is a comfort to us all staying right close by.. dan & i are escaping as we can into the elden ring dlc shadow of the erdtree.. the world feels insane, but all we can do is vote & fight for what we know is right, be good stewards of each other, all life & the earth.. pray & have faith. that's what i'll be doing..

our house made it safely through the 4th of july fireworks, no new fires in the gorge..
i'll post more later in the comments as usual..

bren/ghost

ps - vote joe!!!

Comments

[ghost]

another migraine with aura yesterday, atypical though, no scintillating scotoma, instead visual blindspots & neurologocal symptoms like my brain wouldn't work right for awhile, i'm in the pain phase now. i've lost a few lbs due to missed meals/ibs/stress, but thankfully my hubby's doing well & recovering nicely.
had to put off any more elden ring as it's typical fromsoftware & makes my heart pound in boss fights, something i use to just consider part of my usual 'exercise' but right now maybe not great. i beat 2 big bosses though & proved i still can do it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr10UykLXHs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2k128yGV50
just maybe not right now :(
i'll have to find another escape from this ptsd state?
not enjoying the heat.

[ghost]

good news is my hubby is feeling pretty good & seems normal, taking it a bit more careful..
i'm still recovering from the ptsd side of all this, avoiding taking photos for my blog (flash) due to migraine sensitivity, avoiding elden ring, in case it added to my symptoms..
i gotta say the state of the world today is not helping.
there's a full moon approaching along with my bday, i'm feeling it.. anxiety sucks, it makes me mad to feel bad so much, i decided to venture back in carefully to an old favorite game i've played all the way to nightmare difficulty in years past but never captured for youtube until now.. american mcgee's alice madness returns.. i'll post about it at the lost & found this weekend, but for now it felt good to be 'somewhere else' (wonderland.. the hatter's domain today, starting out in the vale of tears..) i'm in my cheshire cat attire this playthrough, in memory of my own sweet cheshire cat, snug, who was always by my side as i played in years past..

check it out here:
https://youtu.be/9xtEN_atOhY

[ghost]

so mr dad's feeling ok & we're enjoying the slight cooling trend, is summer over? is it halloween now??

so i have the utmost respect for joe passing the torch to kamala & it's so hopeful to see everyone coming together to support her going forward,
i love the idea of 'make america laugh again' yes! please!!!!

on the subject of american mcgee again, today on insta he posted this along with the newest versions of the old anxiety bunny 'worrying is like praying for things you don't want' yes! this has stuck with me, as an ocd pray-er since childhood i'll try to remind myself of this each time i catch myself wandering back off into the dreaded abyss? he's also selling an arfid rabbit (avoidant restrictive food ingestion disorder) me, in a nutshell, is this an official thing? who knew.. my closet of emotional support plushies is getting full & i haven't even gotten the new victorian cheshire cat & white rabbit (my chosen bday toy, albeit belated) soon to be released.. am mcgee knows a thing or 2 or 11 about trauma :(
as anyone who loves his alice madness returns game can tell you ;) i'm still playing & putting up captures on my youtube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/strungoutandthin

hint: i have a feeling i;m headed back to the asylum soon!

oh but hey, who knew there was a dracula pop-up book?!
https://storiarts.com/collections/display-books/products/dracula-pop-up-book

[ghost]

well not long after i commented last my hubby had another lapse, not feeling right, we think it's just the blood thinners working & doing what they're supposed to do, but not wanting to ignore anything & taking all precautions he set up a zoom appt with our family dr for tomorrow along with a blood lab.. he thinks it's ptsd, yep, for him & all of us here.. but he's doing ok, thank god.

mercifully cooler days, our garden has roses & butterflies & baby trees.. oliver's fed & happy, alice is feisty as always & enjoying her birdwatching at my open frenchdoors..

today i captured probably my most favorite alice madness returns capture so far, back to the asylum for me, but then on to the dollhouse! :D https://youtu.be/jh9DL3lE6fE
i love this game!!

i was able to make john a blackberry tart that's healthy enough when paired with breyer no carb vanilla ice-cream, so he's happy & content at the moment..

things feel more hopeful at least..

p.s. ! https://www.tfaw.com/jun242414-muppets-sweetums-robin-deluxe-action-figure-box-set.html

[ghost]

so it feels a little like the trauma is dimming in the rearview a bit, which is a huge relief, as is this portland augtober, or early fall.. hey, it's halloween season! :D

i fought my nemesis in alice madness returns here: https://youtu.be/AXmr6JOSvZc
(note: this game has gotten so many views, likes & comments! good to see this classic old favorite get some attention :D) & now i'm even further back into the original american mcgee's alice game which starts here: https://youtu.be/gK9HVudnFjo
it's rough here, i'm currently swimming with the mock turtle after defeating the terrifying duchess who wanted to eat me!!

isn't tim walz great? i'm feeling so much more optimistic about our future now with this great team running & joe still behind the wheel.. please end this insanity that has plagued us the last several years.. i love the concept of 'make america laugh again!' yes!!!!

so we're planning a drive to see the curious cat trail here in pdx later in september when things have cooled off & school's back in session.. it's based on coraline's curious cat, created here at portland's laika studios, there are 31 giant curious cat statues all around pdx metro!! after 10 weeks they'll be auctioned off with proceeds going to doernbecker children's hospital ;)
i posted about it all weekend over at the toy blog: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/08/flashback-friday-coraline.html

[ghost]

so i have my rough days here in my ocd self imposed isolation, but we've kept clear of covid & monkeypox & any other fun plagues lurking out there.. mr dad/sasquatch is doing well & i've been without a migraine so far on this superblue full moon.. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/august-super-blue-moon-2024.html
i had another fun encounter online yesterday that i wanted to share, as an oldschool internet geek i use to put grickle stickers on my old journals often, well i only recently rediscovered him on insta doing live drawings where he & a guest artist take idea requests & pick certain subjects to draw.. & guess what? yep they chose my suggestion of 'eraserhead kermit' & i'm joyous with the result! :D see here in this short recap: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-1TLxYOllA/
& here for the full live drawing without the live comments: https://www.instagram.com/p/C-1RvePukqp/ (at the end)
so glad he was intrigued with my request! ;)
so we've had a nice thunderstorm & i think it washed summer away, & you know what that means..
https://www.halloweencostumes.com/adult-crow-mascot-costume.html?mpid=251053&tm=tt&ap=gads&aaid=ada8T6EyiYt6m&gad_source=5&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIh-T8iu75hwMVAhStBh06cjNxEAEYASAEEgJjdPD_BwE

https://www.halloweencostumes.com/adult-crow-costume.html?mpid=52264&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&msclkid=983a899a8b1a13bd19d5ef25f8a86822

https://www.halloweencostumes.com/scary-flying-monkey-costume.html

yes! it's halloween!! time for monster cereals & eventually halloween comicfest <3
i've also headed back into elden ring & have resumed my youtube captures accordingly.. https://www.youtube.com/@ghostatthegate/videos
still posting on weekends over at the lost & found..

DNC starts today, so thankful to have this hopeful, joyful shift in energy going forward.. i may survive awhile longer afterall..?

[ghost]

it rained here this morning, rain then sun back & forth, what we call 'rainbow weather' here.. & feeling very autumny :)
so we're waiting on medical bills to all settle, which is terrifying, even with blue cross/blue shield insurance..

oh but hey in elden ring i now have my own Death Emu helping me! because of course i do..
https://youtu.be/6AgCJ7lVzP8