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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« 2024 (or subtitle ~ migraines & terrors & beeps oh my! (repeat..) | Main

April 14, 2024


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we took a little drive today venturing into our lovely big backyard, the gorge, up through the larch mountain corridor (where we once spotted bigfoot!)
seen in our halloween album here: (sound up!)

a beautiful cool sunny day, i find i am much more comfortable surrounded by trees than by people..

where are you taking me?

actually sasq wanted some basalt chunks for his ongoing backyard landscaping project..

i woke up with a feeling..

this is the end of the trip..

definitely have your sound up for these unlisted youtube shorts.. ;) & i've found you have to click on the little gear below the youtubes to choose the highest quality playback to see these in HD or the quality is poor..


they're hatching!

posting more of my all time favorite videogames at the toy blog this weekend :)

lyrics for the day from the smile:

read the room

& when the time is right
& when the end has come
maybe you can't maybe you can't be arsed
for half a million
that's your opinion
that's how your story goes
a magic rain a magic rainbow
so big it bends the light
you know it takes away
it takes the fun out
maybe i can't maybe i can't be arsed
this crashing currency
these kind of phonecalls
these candy aerosols
these massive e these massive egos
so big they bend the light
who knows what it wants from me?
this goes where it wants to be
honey for the honeybee
i am gonna count to 3
keep this shit away from me

maybe you should read the room?
what on earth
come on honey read the room
'come on out, come on out, we know you're in there!'


our robin family:

now who among us has not longed for a glow-in-the-dark bat crossbody bag?

more lyrics of the day from the smile:

i quit

i quit
my head is lit
a piece of me
this is my stop
this is the end of the trip
& brotherhood
& brotherhood
wild ghosts
wild feelings
leaning windmills
a dead drop
this is the end of the trip
a new path
out of the madness
to wherever it goes
to wherever it lies
to wherever it goes..


fluffy babies..


happy mayday! so i posted a special mayday post at the lost & found about our sweet little backyard robins :D
alice helped.. <3

it's an old irish tradition to place freshly picked flowers at the frontdoor threshold on mayday to keep away bad luck & evil spirits ;) my own childhood memories of mayday are similar, my great grandma & rolemodel, barbre, use to make cute little may baskets & fill them with fresh flowers, some candy & loose change & leave them out under the frontdoor threshold for us kids to find first thing in the morning.. i don't remember other kids having this cool event!
well, i have my ups & downs moodwise, but have at least been enjoying venturing back into fallout 4 for youtube captures of all my old settlements & quests there..

i have to say, i keep getting these little reminders of my old friend emma who use to chat with me here in the comments back in the old days of this ghost blog ;) i miss you, em..


may the 4th be with you
free comic book day
& alice liddell's bday!!
weirdest convergence ever???

posts accordingly all weekend at the lost & found:


pizza pizza!

so i'm having too much fun decorating for halfoween & posting accordingly all week at the lost & found..
(some of us cannot wait allllll that way till october to celebrate!)

my domestic side is like dark martha stewart!


our robin family fledglings have all left the nest & it's a cool sunny day, oliver is feeling at home now here having gotten through the cold winter using our shelters & he's a handsome grown up young man now, freddy's leaving him alone ;)

i have my ups & downs but have remained relatively sane, often thanks to my fallout 4 world where i've incorporated a bunch of cool fun new content including new homes & more!! so i'm updating the above post with 1 or 3 more youtube links accordingly..

i still post weekends at my lost & found toy blog so any other bored vintage kids should come over & check it out! :D

happy weekend, everybody!

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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