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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
Rain
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
Halloween71
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)


Brenghost
vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
Cherrytreemoon
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Scandalous
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

Smith
my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
Pdx
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

Thingsbehindthesun
things behind the sun (journals)
www.flickr.com
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Brenkitty
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

Enter
halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..


  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    NEW ELDER SCROLLS!!
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

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« 2024 (or subtitle ~ migraines & terrors & beeps oh my! (repeat..) | Main | summertime blues (aint no cure..) »

April 14, 2024

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ghost

we took a little drive today venturing into our lovely big backyard, the gorge, up through the larch mountain corridor (where we once spotted bigfoot!)
seen in our halloween album here: (sound up!) http://brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryhalloweenalbum.html

a beautiful cool sunny day, i find i am much more comfortable surrounded by trees than by people..

where are you taking me?
https://youtu.be/u47-6SyoDVM

actually sasq wanted some basalt chunks for his ongoing backyard landscaping project..
https://youtu.be/oIvEAUzvgFc

i woke up with a feeling..
https://youtu.be/fef2rIE_QZc

this is the end of the trip..
https://youtu.be/ZO7TaoJMhdc

definitely have your sound up for these unlisted youtube shorts.. ;) & i've found you have to click on the little gear below the youtubes to choose the highest quality playback to see these in HD or the quality is poor..

ghost

they're hatching!
https://youtu.be/FV313droCSo

posting more of my all time favorite videogames at the toy blog this weekend :)

lyrics for the day from the smile:

read the room

& when the time is right
& when the end has come
maybe you can't maybe you can't be arsed
for half a million
that's your opinion
that's how your story goes
a magic rain a magic rainbow
so big it bends the light
you know it takes away
it takes the fun out
maybe i can't maybe i can't be arsed
this crashing currency
these kind of phonecalls
these candy aerosols
these massive e these massive egos
so big they bend the light
who knows what it wants from me?
this goes where it wants to be
honey for the honeybee
i am gonna count to 3
keep this shit away from me

honestly?
maybe you should read the room?
what on earth
come on honey read the room
'come on out, come on out, we know you're in there!'

ghost

our robin family: https://youtu.be/akRTq96rGeo

now who among us has not longed for a glow-in-the-dark bat crossbody bag?
https://www.hottopic.com/product/bat-skeleton-glow-in-the-dark-crossbody-bag/20426965.html?cm_mmc=DIS-_-CRT-_-273118-_-11001631-_-pch.com&cto_pld=BiSmxEg8AAArYW1KFUDadA

more lyrics of the day from the smile:

i quit

i quit
my head is lit
a piece of me
this is my stop
this is the end of the trip
conscience
& brotherhood
& brotherhood
wild ghosts
wild feelings
leaning windmills
a dead drop
this is the end of the trip
a new path
out of the madness
to wherever it goes
to wherever it lies
to wherever it goes..

ghost

fluffy babies..
https://youtu.be/803ApAPsoNc

ghost

happy mayday! so i posted a special mayday post at the lost & found about our sweet little backyard robins :D https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/05/happy-mayday.html
alice helped.. <3

it's an old irish tradition to place freshly picked flowers at the frontdoor threshold on mayday to keep away bad luck & evil spirits ;) my own childhood memories of mayday are similar, my great grandma & rolemodel, barbre, use to make cute little may baskets & fill them with fresh flowers, some candy & loose change & leave them out under the frontdoor threshold for us kids to find first thing in the morning.. i don't remember other kids having this cool event!
well, i have my ups & downs moodwise, but have at least been enjoying venturing back into fallout 4 for youtube captures of all my old settlements & quests there..

i have to say, i keep getting these little reminders of my old friend emma who use to chat with me here in the comments back in the old days of this ghost blog ;) i miss you, em..

ghost

may the 4th be with you
free comic book day
halfoween
& alice liddell's bday!!
weirdest convergence ever???

posts accordingly all weekend at the lost & found: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/05/fcbd-2024.html

ghost

pizza pizza! https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/pizza-pizza.html

so i'm having too much fun decorating for halfoween & posting accordingly all week at the lost & found..
(some of us cannot wait allllll that way till october to celebrate!)

my domestic side is like dark martha stewart!
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/05/fallout-4-halloween.html

ghost

our robin family fledglings have all left the nest & it's a cool sunny day, oliver is feeling at home now here having gotten through the cold winter using our shelters & he's a handsome grown up young man now, freddy's leaving him alone ;)

i have my ups & downs but have remained relatively sane, often thanks to my fallout 4 world where i've incorporated a bunch of cool fun new content including new homes & more!! so i'm updating the above post with 1 or 3 more youtube links accordingly..

i still post weekends at my lost & found toy blog so any other bored vintage kids should come over & check it out! :D

happy weekend, everybody!

ghost

so i'm still lost in my post-apocalyptic wasteland where ironically i feel less traumatized than in the 'real' world.. did i mention the neighbor's very tall maple tree limb crashed over just outside my vampire suite window? thankfully it missed our fence & house & trees & instead knocked down our nextdoor neighbors' fence & filled their backyard until a crew came & cut it all up.. they're still dealing with it, hey sorry, but glad it's one less problem for us to deal with as our own are all we can cope with anymore with our various aches & pains & worries.. (update: now they're out there trying to cut down limbs, making me Very nervous, don't hit our pine tree & fence, please?) it's always the dissiduous trees that fall.. hey, while watching i noticed another pretty little blue egg in our robins' nest :D
anyway i updated the post with another youtube.. i'm sure i'll add more before i move on to another fantasy gameworld..

alice has a little raccoon friend that comes to see her beside me at my open french doors, exciting!

also jeb (sasq's old friend) gave a talk at the smithsonian recently & sent a cool pic from central park of this wonderful alice in wonderland statue there!
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/central-park-alice-statue-from-jeb.html

we're taking a little drive tomorrow before it gets too hot out, to tend to a grave, to take a few pix, to maybe gather some stones..

leaving you with lyrics of the day from the smile:

the same

you don't need to fight
look towards the light
grab at it with both hands
what you know is right
somebody's falling down
somebody's telling lies
simple ass motherfuckers
one mistake after another
people in the streets
please
people in the streets
somebody's hearing voices
somebody's going down down down
going down going down going down
people in the streets
please
we all want the same
please
we are all the same
please
we all want the same
please
we are all the same
please
we all want the same..

today's lost & found toy post: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/05/toyroom-tuesday.html
;)

ghost

3 new blue eggs in the robins' nest :D https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/end-of-may-2024-3-eggs.html

it's been a long time since we've had a cemetery adventure, i've photo'd every old cemetery for a hundred miles before i finally wrapped up my cemeteria album: http://brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerycemeteriaalbum.html (sound up for nick drake here!)

anyway we had another one yesterday trying to find sasquatch's sister in the big beautiful lincoln memorial cemetery here in portland, we haven't been to her grave in many years & some of the trees have been lost to storms over time, throwing us off, so after half an hour of searching even with a numbered page from the cemetery office i was so glad to finally locate her for him <3 she died tragically young at the age of 17 & was only a year older than him..
we then drove all through old portland neighborhoods as i got photos & video of points of interest.. i've missed being in town with my ocd avoidance, but just driving through old familiar streets of shops & homes we use to regularly travel, seeing all the multifaceted portlanders & street art, reminded me of why i call portland my home, why i love it so, it helped me feel more normal, like my version of socializing, safely encapsulated in the bigfootmobile with my mask in pocket handy.. lol
keep portland weird!! <3
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/memoirs_of_a_vampire_butt/objects-in-mirror-are-even-weirder-than-they-appear.html

GUILTY ON ALL 34 COUNTS!!!
law & order motherfuckers!!!!!!!!
p.s. can i just say, i wish we could have seen a conversation between molly jong-fast & (the late) gilbert gottfried.. ;) <3

ghost

ok sad news, we had 3 beautiful blue eggs in the robin nest & then i went in to peek at the nest yesterday & the eggs are gone! :o oh no!! no damage to the nest, no signs of eggshells below, since this nest is in such a secure spot behind an old satellite dish under the roof eave out of reach of raccoons etc, we believe it was other birds? perhaps our big blue stellers jays that run our yards? the robin parents have been out on my deck, seemingly guarding & running off other birds.. this is very sad, but i remind myself their last clutch all fledged beautifully as our youtubes show, & they will surely use the nest for more babies, perhaps guarding it more fiercely this time? :(

oliver, our handsome backyard wild tabby boy, was sitting in the sunshine out in our driveway this morning smiling, waiting for his breakfast.. white roses are blooming right outside my window.. grass is growing.. is it summer now?

i've been doing better for awhile, then last night what i think must've been a perfect storm of ibs, post men insanity & physical exertion resulted in a night right out of years past where i felt like i couldn't get oxygen, low bp, drowsy & lightheaded, feeling like i'd pass out, resulting in an anxiety attack. very discouraging to feel like i went back in time that way, what'd i do? not fun. taking it super careful today..

so over at the lost & found toy blog i've been posting my mysterious plushie dreadful emotional support toys, & today i shared a knockoff i found on amazon, not official, seems like this one's been through alot, bloody & scarred.. (secretly i think of this one as my si bunny.. since i don't imagine even american mcgee will create such a creature?)
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/06/goth-bun.html
when they make comfort plush toys for all your ailments, needless to say my closet is full.. no anorexia one? not plush enough? agoraphobia, addiction/alcoholism?
together with my closet skeletons & crying monster, strange kitties.. doll chest, sock drawer.. these things are comforting to me..

ghost

today i tucked fallout 4 away again now that i've helped all the settlers i can & brought kitties to them wherever possible ;) (in memory of maisie) https://youtu.be/1UuQaBletb8

but not before i captured a bunch of shorter videos around the wasteland using my camera so i could share the fun music i'm always listening to there:

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/06/fallout-4-music.html
& i did an antifashion show fallout 4 edition too! https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/06/fallout-4-friday-antifashion-edition.html

& did i mention i can create my own robots there too? because i did: https://youtu.be/pV8qp57FmPs

on to elden ring dlc: the shadow of the erdtree, where i helped raven achieve combatant supreme by letting him kill me over & over in the new colosseums there! because that's a mother's love? lol
https://youtu.be/0U-Og_x8PCc
note: we both have long hair now, because we have been there for awhile ;)

so i'm now officially married to a senior: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2024/06/happy-birthday-mr-dad.html

summer arrived with the big strawberry solstice moon & 90s just to send me into migraine ibs fun..
(i hate summer. sorry, not sorry.)
my sister caren wound up her rv vacation around yosemite, nevada, colorado, oklahoma, etc by stopping by the old ravenwood cemetery where our grandmas & other family are buried to finally lay to rest my sister cathy's ashes <3

mr dad had to take a paycut which worries us as we feel older & less secure about the future, but my lyrics of the day represent my philosophy, thanks to bing crosby:

you've got to accentuate the positive
eliminate the negative
latch on the the affirmative
don't mess with mr in-between
you gotta spread joy
up to the maximum
bring gloom down to the minimum
have faith or pandemonium's liable to walk upon the scene
to illustrate my last remark
jonah in the whale, noah in the ark
what did they do just when everything looked so dark?
man, you gotta
accentuate the positive
eliminate the negative
latch on the the affirmative
don't mess with mr in-between
no, don't mess with mr in between!

:D

ghost

senor dad had an adventure today with an old friend, hiking up beacon rock, which has been on his bucket list since he was a kid! ;) they had to put it off last saturday due to rain, but today was absolutely perfect:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/beacon-rock-view.html
besides the cool pix he had the gopro on a headstrap under his hat the whole time, which took a gorgeous live video of the way up to the top! it's like our own personal oregon field guide episode, it's so cool!! :D

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
Aroundthebend
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

Danradpic
back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!

ghostfilms

Ghost
lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
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