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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« welcome to autumn | Main | snowglobe xmas »

October 31, 2023


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Hello, I just want to contact you about some Gumby photos, but going through your pages I didn't find a contact method, so am leaving a comment here. Thank you.


hey eric, gumby photos? i am curious ;) this old gumby post at my lost & found blog is where all the gumby talk still happens..


so today we took yet another drive, nearly 100 miles, nearly to the sea, back to our 'spot' along the nehelem river, but with all the record rainfall we've had here for the start of november the river was running way too high for there to be any gravelbeds or rockhounding opportunities.. that's ok, it was a nice cool drive & a lovely peek at our deep autumn color here locally..
hey, my emily stickers have arrived! time to apply them & others to my new laptop, this is like a ritual.. will have to post pix at the lost & found later..
the witches festival is over now in eso & i have a bunch of youtubes to upload now :D
(note: the commenter above is thinking about writing an article about the 70th anniversary of gumby :) but now thinks 2025 is the correct year? i still look forward to it!) thanks, eric!


fun weird wednesday post at the lost & found :D

also i took a bunch of film captures along our drive so i put up a few unlisted shorts on youtube too..

november drive..

potshop skelly :D

i love the rain..



in today's ads:



lyrics of the day from nick drake:

time of no reply

summer was gone
& the heat died down
& autumn reached for her golden crown
i looked behind as i heard a sigh
but this was the time of no reply

the sun went down
& the crowd went home
i was left by the roadside all alone
i turned to speak as they went by
but this was the time of no reply

the time of no reply
is calling me to stay
there's no hello & no goodbye
to leave there is no way

the trees on the hill
had nothing to say
they would keep their dreams
till another day
so they stood & thought
& wondered why
for this was the time of no reply

time goes by from year to year
& no one asks
why i'm standing here
but I have my answer
as i look to the sky
this is the time of no reply

the time of no reply
is calling me to stay
there`s no hello & no goodbye
to leave there is no way..

along the highway on the drive home..

ps - i got some better pix of our wild oliver ;)


we took another drive in the fullness of what i call deep autumn, through the gorge & over the bridge of the gods into washington state, then back past beacon rock along the other side of the columbia river.. i didn't get any photos, as now i'm happy to capture film shorts with music playing as we're driving more & getting out of the car less.. it's sunny & windy here now, but rain's set to come back, with snow coming to the cascades & passes, may not be many chances for drives going into winter?
i broke my long Long avoidance streak & finally went with my sasquatch husband to do our overdue blood labs, masked & socially distant, it was an accomplishment for me at least.. & we're still well days later so i'm trying to feel safe, even though my traumatized ocd nervous system keeps me ever hypervigilant these days..

i've been posting flashback friday posts at the lost & found toys blog of favorite old posts from my archives, since i'm not out collecting like i use to & don't have much new content.. yesterday i posted all about my ghost gallery dollscapes for anyone interested:
although i'm demoralized still about my bloghost typepad & the eternal broken images link issue i've moaned & groaned about here before, i have an open ticket about this unresolved issue at the moment & am assured an engineer is looking into why so many of the photos i have in my plethora of albums seem to have broken links in the published albums even though the photos are there internally.. *sigh* it gets harder & harder to use this old medium the way i use to enjoy.. my little ghostworld always feels precariously tipping into the abyss.. like all is for naught..
i try not to give in..
but i mentioned to my son how i use to feel like frog (you have to understand arnold lobel's frog & toad for this reference..) ..anyway i use to feel like frog, hopeful & encouraging & friendly, & now i feel like toad. poor toad..

ok so cheer up, here are some fun xmas ornament ads i've come across lately as i try to get into the holiday spirit:

ho ho ho.. i like the monsterheads & the pickle..


happy black friday!

some of my fun ads:

a fun derivation over at the lost & found blog today:

& my current album updated with alice pix:

i was sending unlisted youtubes to my sister & family so i thought i'd add them here too:

we've had freezing temps here & there already & are turning the corner into winter.. <3


i wish we could see the northern lights tonight, but it's been pouring rain here & overcast..

so december is here, welcome winter, we're not setting up the tree/decos again this year with our feisty girl, alice, who would happily knock it down.. but i've wanted to try to feel like it's xmas somehow.. we'll have to bring out bing crosby, his music officially starts xmas for us. & i found out once the new life/holiday event starts in eso in about 2 weeks i can buy a tree & decorations for my snowglobe home there! :D where it will be forever xmas <3

a couple of my latest youtube captures here:

& today's flashback friday post at the toy blog:


rough days for me lately, the east winds let up just in time for more atmospheric rivers & pouring rain, which is not holding up the eternal/infernal water project nearby which wakes me up with banging & beeping noises every morning :( our water will be off again tomorrow for half the day. not happy. getting up to start coffee is an accomplishment for me, this a.m. i got up too quick for my low bp resulting in one of my big gilded blobs in my vision, had to go rest & wait a bit :/

on the bright side i am posting weekends at the lost & found:

& still posting my eso captures to my youtube channel:
(if you like this please subscribe :)

i'm still awaiting my new long awaited harp albion cd (tim smith formerly of midlake) but it may be lost in the mail? had to open a ticket about it.. yesterday colin meloy of the decemberists came on with an unexpected insta livestream where he played us some of his new songs, which were really good..

& after marty krofft's death i had to be there for sid's sunday after livestream, where he announced he'd be sending signed xmas cards to anyone who subscribed! well, i follow him & have commented back & forth with him over the years there & am subscribed to him on youtube, but i couldn't subscribe to him because i'm an oldschool insta account & was never on facebook, so it doesn't allow me to.. anyway i donated to HFC to enter a raffle they're running for a jack wilde/jimmy funko pop & messaged sid, who said 'it's ok, you're on the list!' & thanked him, said love you guys & he replied love you! is this not surreal every time? he is really a dear soul, not kidding.. anyway, it helps me to feel xmas coming just knowing his card is on its way! :D <3 i need help feeling xmasy this year it seems..

ok so my ads of late:

i had a dream early this morning that i was in, of course, a collectible shop & found a vintage dark wooden jewelry box with all kinds of little drawers & compartments & brought it up to the register to ask how much? the lady there was lisa from our old pdx estates sales (also running insta livestreams) but when i tried to speak my voice barely came out so weak & quiet & small..?

i feel like old lady linus, with my electric blanket & deep thoughts..
so yeah i've become all weird & isolated.. big surprise..

my pitiful memoirs are all penned here:
(excuse the abbreviated title in the link, i actually discussed it with bloggess jenny lawson who thinks it's the best title Ever! ;)

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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