why am i so obsessed with the moon? well i spent time there as a child, tried to draw pictures of it, in secret of course, these pictures were torn up & hidden down at the bottom of a trashbin so as to never be discovered.. but later in life i was able to recreate my experiences here at my ghost gallery..
my 4th birthday happened to be the day man first walked on the moon & i'll always remember how we watched the black & white coverage on the little tv outside in our laundryroom off of the garage & then stepped outside to gaze up at the moon & wonder.. & of course i knew gumby went there..
i've had this strange affinity for the moon even through a lifelong history of classic migraines often with aura that were also brought on regularly by full moons or supermoons.. just recently i posted all moon related items up at my lost & found toys blog over the 4th of july weekend, as we love & photo the moon & stars regularly here at our house & my photo albums are full of my moon madness..
well, happy (early) bday to me, as the latest mysterious plushie dreadful just launched that i was commenting about after my last post..
(mr dad said 'get it'..)
i had been writing recently in my journal about something i call the 'sparkling dark'
it's this otherwordly feeling i remember from nights long ago in the city, often after my therapy sessions when we'd stop into petco or the grocery store before the drive home. i felt something that seemed so dark & cold, but i described it as 'sparkling dark'..
one night as my mind drifted to that feeling again as i laid here unable to sleep i realized..
the 'sparkling dark' is dissociation.. just like in childhood when i lived alone for awhile in my crater on the moon..
that place still comforts me despite it's darkness. it's cold clean stillness is so safe.
i had to have american mcgee's newest creation to go along with my ocd & anxiety bunnies,
my migraine rabbit, scruffy bumps & the love kitty in my ghost closet.. i've posted about these before at the lost & found toy blog.. american mcgee's alice is perhaps my favorite videogame world ever & he now makes plushie dreadful toys, often for those of us dealing with various health conditions, physical & mental..
& in fact i've played a part in crowd designs, on the migraine rabbit in particular i was the one who experiences aura..
& american added a shooting star to represent the scintillating scotoma some of us get before onset..
(i'm still dealing with a migraine at the moment actually.. one that began of course with the rose supermoon before the holiday..)
so why not come over & visit my closet friends at the lost & found, in my ghost closet, or in my rows of never opened doors..
meanwhile the lyrics of the day are old ones from thom:
i sucked the moon
i spoke too soon
& how much did it cost?
i was dropped from
moonbeams
& sailed on shooting stars
maybe you'll
be president
but know right from wrong
or in a flood
you'll build an ark
& sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon
sail us to the moon..
click the links scattered through this post for more mysterious toys..
& of course i'll be posting about this latest bunny at the lost & found once it arrives <3
yes, i am out of my mind, but i feel safer there.
more moon madness to continue in the comments..
bren/ghost
