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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« my echo, my shadow & me.. | Main | please.. »

May 04, 2023


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so i am positively frolicking around in skyrim now thanks to a little trick raven figured out for me that was like the most ideal mother's day gift, an exploit where i use my alchemy & enchanting skills to exponentially ramp up my potions & enchanting skills back & forth quickly enough that i could create my own special amulets to wear that in essence Cure me of all my painful overencumberance so i can travel around at full speed without the slog of dragging heavy weapons & armor forever slowing me down! i'm a stealth character, which can slow me down in itself, & forever i've had to keep my bow readied to regain some speed, & this was practically giving me carpal tunnel syndrome, holding the controller in this position always.. No More!! my very own invention, the 'Carryitall' amulet rids me of that issue..
(inspired by the decemberists' song lyric ;) & the special 'alchemy eye' amulet i created makes my potions beyond powerful into the ludicrous! all i can say is fuck around & find out! one-shotting dragons & giants is kinda fun! :D & i used my own bonehawk skull i hunted & shot with an arrow to create it, made the other amulet myself at my smithing station too.. how cool! after decades in elder scrolls i think i deserve this perk, they should add it in as an achievement for veteran players anyway in my opinion..

now i can run about freely gathering alchemic ingredients, mushrooms & flowers, collecting butterflies & mining heavy ores for my weapon-making, & toxic can steal as many books as she wants, it actually has the added benefit of granting me unlimited gold, although i was not exactly lacking anyway ;)
but what fun! i've added a bunch of new youtubes to my channel here:
but here are the best examples, the carryitall amulet:
& the alchemy eye:

happy mother's day indeed!! thanks raven <3

so mr dad's in indy on a business trip & things have been nice & quiet here, reminds me how raven & i babysit our mischievous alice in our day & night shifts & are always trying to impress upon him the need to not activate her constantly once she's gotten settled & is asleep (we get a break!)
colin's lyrics in this decemberists song done in classic irish drinking song style explain it plainly:

kick a hole
in the hallway wall
singing like a painted lady
use your skull
like a cannonball
but it better not
wake the baby!
how long will this go on?
how long, indeed?
bang a drum
'till the money's all gone
but it better not
wake the baby
make a moan of
your lot in life
split your mind half crazy
gouge your eyes
with a butter knife
but it better
not wake the baby
how long will this go on?
how long, indeed?
bang a drum
'till the money's all gone
but it better not
wake the baby
drown yourself in
crocodile tears
curse the gods what made 'ye
pine away for
your banner years
but it better not
wake the baby
how long will this go on?
how long, indeed?
bang a drum
'till the money's all gone
but it better not
wake the baby
how long will this go on?
how long, indeed?
bang a drum
'till the money's all gone
but it better not
wake the baby
better not wake the
batter not wake the baby!

p.s. in this sunshine our backyard arbor day trees are sprouting :)

p.p.s. this is too cool, wait till raven sees this.


glad to have mr dad back home, jetlagged & with a story to tell, it seems his flight back from frisco (layover) was interesting because he was seated across from a 450 lb sumo wrestler & a man with tourette's who couldn't stop humming & whistling songs the whole flight :o ?! lols can't make this stuff up..


over on insta elvira posted that may is the ideal time to plant your pumpkins ;) well, we planted our patch on mayday & i am proud to say they are now sprouting!
great pumpkin, did you hear that? :D

nice cool days here for a bit, how nice to actually go back to spring, but pinecones are falling like autumn,
are our trees confused?
speaking of being confused, my ads of late: ok why???


p.s. elvira is just cassandra peterson in make-up, she's hilarious & loveable in or out of the old role, i follow her & you should too!


anyone else think this was the best season of survivor so far? i would've voted for carolyn though ;)

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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