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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
Rain
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
Halloween71
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)


Brenghost
vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
Cherrytreemoon
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Scandalous
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

Smith
my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
Pdx
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

Thingsbehindthesun
things behind the sun (journals)
Razorblades
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
www.flickr.com
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Brenkitty
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

Enter
halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..


  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    NEW ELDER SCROLLS!!
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« winter winds | Main | ghost closet antifashion »

January 28, 2023

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ghost

#elderscrolls #skyrim #skyrimanniversaryedition #vampire #gaming #videogame #rpg

so glad to have an old friend back with me now on my travels..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/skyrim-anniversary-edition-companion-serana-vampire.html

ghost

#lostandfoundtoys #innerchild #vintagekid #infj #introvert #toys #retro #treelover

:D https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/130734132/playmobil-haunted-halloween-victorian?ref=listing-shop-header-0&epik=dj0yJnU9dW1OX0RJRFZFNE9TcEhYM1pkNHEwX2xtcmNIXzROZjMmcD0wJm49OEtUdi1HZmY0b0x1bW9jQlkxZUVuUSZ0PUFBQUFBR1BiOGxF

mr dad & i have had many nicknames for each other over all the years, at one point he called me 'booboo kitty' :D

https://www.ebay.com/itm/255913523541?hash=item3b95a27955:g:-3kAAOSwk55jt183&amdata=enc%3AAQAHAAAA4CvevoOUNeAG%2BF1b2KoDRrT%2BwXz6qRzhlKMrtLujBD0rMVsDMs2tUh5dO3%2F%2BeUXE0HoMA%2FcRG8Ibl7EVtNWyoe%2FlRb2INPFT%2FT9j9m3fzdJk%2B4sP%2FHCh8c9bZoC0iYh4OQq4SiH2FBXZhj1Ovf9ba68ScUSGkNLWxSw8Kfc8uRoYkT3WCubfAjnfy3D%2FMy7FYmy9dHCirfh4JpPBOK16yCyTeRvc5L0Ip8ulr23ihdmVtfUXiLzbnR%2BVWteHdNbGTWtudb%2BZO%2BEDVX%2FNmLgG4mdJxSq3O2B5xqd8DaM6du4g%7Ctkp%3ABFBM_O35ssJh

do i need a goose warmie? https://warmies.com/products/goose-warmies?variant=39683896705112&cr_bannerid=11125610&cr_campaignid=309924&cr_type=display

& there's a frog.. <3

planting our arbor day foundation bareroot trees today, wish them well <3

oh my! https://www.walmart.com/ip/Gabby-s-Dollhouse-Purrfect-Dollhouse-2-Foot-Tall-Playset-with-Sounds-15-Pieces/658471138?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&adid=22222222222471189598&wmlspartner=wmtlabs&wl0=e&wl1=a&wl2=c&wl3=75385414685873&wl4=pla-4578984945852051:aud-813964393&wl5=&wl6=&wl7=&wl10=Walmart&wl11=Online&wl12=658471138_0&wl14=dollhouse%20miniature&veh=sem&msclkid=0b1d65aa5a381b278271067573fea0cb&gclid=0b1d65aa5a381b278271067573fea0cb&gclsrc=3p.ds

em

Hi Ghost,
Tried to email you but it didn’t work. Hopefully not related to my last rant which was pretty over the top even for me! Hope you are well. Unfortunately I am not well. Say hello if you have some downtime. I see you are keeping very busy!
Best,
Em

ghost

emma! :D
hey there!!
i've wondered how you are doing & left a message at new year's over on twitter messaging but didn't know if you'd ever see it? yeah gumbyland email is long gone, sorry..
i even commented here not long ago at xmastime hoping someday you might come around again & see it, the mystery of the misfit dolly was finally explained! remember your theory that she was a misfit because she peed from her eyes? definitely misfit material there.. no, she was cast aside by her mother & suffered low self esteem, depression & psychological issues! https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/snowballinhell/2022/12/winter-winds.html?cid=6a00d834525fe869e202af14aca7ce200b#comment-6a00d834525fe869e202af14aca7ce200b

i said 'her mother' it was actually her owner.. no fruedian slip there.. oh my :O i think we can all relate?
you say you're not well? what does that mean? i've often wondered how things have gone with you & k? these weird times have driven me back to zoom sessions with licia.. priceless, poignant & kinda life-saving <3

yeah, we've been busy here with home repairs, new roof & all, i think of that stress & cost as like a rite of passage as part of becoming old fast, the shock. i'm not doing great myself, have become so ocd i'm like howard hughes these years (only much lower tax bracket sadly), washing my hands like a raccoon & worrying myself to death most of the time, super avoidant & regressed into reclusion..
hope you're ok, please comment back & let me know? i check here daily again like the old days.. gotta say i miss the old ghostblog days & all the fun talking with you!
take care em!!!! <3

ghost (or just bren now)

Sally

Hi Bren, Just checking in here since I don't very often and usually just pop in to the toy blog. I love all your memories of your pittypats. You were such a good cat mom to them and they had the best lives. <3

ghost

thanks sally, i have pix on the wall beside my bed of all of them where i see them all the time (my kitty corner) & i feel them still with me sometimes.. dan had a dream recently that he looked under the blankets on his bed for alice & the pittypats were in there very cozy & warm & meowing to him <3 they were my daughters :) i look back at our home movies & i gotta say they had the best lives kitties could have to be sure, that gives me comfort.. each one has a story, their lives beginning to end, you know?

Sally

What a cool dream that Dan had. <3 And yes, they were your daughters and I totally get it. <3

ghost

:) thanks sally..

& emma, i'm worried about you, i hope you are ok? ..

ghost

:D

https://www.bradfordexchange.com/products/137536001_the-wizard-of-oz-ever-sparkle-glitter-canvas-shoes.html
glitter though.. :(

oh my!

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/5840674505021014/

http://wizardofozcollectibles.net/jim-shore-spellbound-glinda-witch-dorothy-toto-four-piece-nesting-set/
cool site!

https://www.ebay.com/p/12025258487?iid=402180717762
not boring. :)

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/82331499611482102/

ok i gotta go to sleep now..

update: ok i'm awake again.. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/49328558395159843/

i like the tin man <3

https://www.amazon.com/Anymore-DOROTHY-SCARECROW-Bradford-Exchange/dp/B07955TMBN/ref=asc_df_B07955TMBN/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309804762689&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6015708112842590157&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032883&hvtargid=pla-569362375338&psc=1

it snowed a little in the night :)
now to the lost & found for a special post..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/love-kitty.html

ghost

#ghostgallery #infj #psychology #lostandfoundtoys #rowsofneveropeneddoors #art #toys #innerchild #gallery #dollscapes #dolls #vintage

a special post today at the lost & found:

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/the-ghost-gallery.html

ghost

#lostandfoundtoys #skyrim #vampire #gaming

another fun post at the lost & found today ;)

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/skyrim-updates.html

em

I found my way back!
Howdy ghost!
I saw the post about the dolly. Peeing out her eyes sounds about right for a theory from me :). I’ll have to check out the link later.
Sent you a message under separate cover. I’m up early as usual. I try to get some rehab done before I even get out of bed. Apparently, I’m one of the few people who actually do their therapy homework, so I am a bit of a darling to my various therapists. Fingers crossed for me. Als doesn’t improve, so I’ve definitely got motivation to try.
Coffee is now my favorite meal of the day as booze and solids have drifted out of my life. I put cream and sugar in it and it’s absolutely delightful! That’s where I’m headed right now. I’m going to enjoy this day. I hope you do too. Now to coffee and to read about what the hell Dolly’s problem is 🤣

ghost

em! ;)

so good to find your comment here at the old ghostblog, like old times <3 i started posting here again over recent years because i needed a place to express myself that wasn't just all sunshine & gumby like my toy blog.. i post whatever's on my mind, but really like always all the good stuff's in the comments ;)

so i admit my only knowledge of als is from the old b&w lou gherig movie? & stephen hawking? i'd hoped in all this time there have been advancements in treatment? good to see you doing your therapy! if you read around this blog you'll see how i struggled with inability to eat solid food myself (& still do) due to ibs & a traumatized nervous system that makes it hard for me to breathe at times, along with my usual old migraines & low bp/heart issues.. such fun, huh? coffee! yes coffee is what i also enjoy most in the a.m. (decaf for me, home brewed in a coffeepot) with generous sugar & half & half of course!
my few meager bites of actual solid food consist of almost half of an english muffin coated in blue bonnet margarine which is like my crack! i put enough on there to scare people, but it's calories, man!
then tillamook vanilla icecream shakes for lunch, the richest & we've been to the factory on the coast & seen it made :)
i mix cr of chicken & ch noodle soup together made with milk for dinners.. nice soft noodles & just a bit of chicken chunks.. or not on a bad day?
gatorade & apple juice, applesauce, a bite of cottage cheese here & there when i can..

after over a year now of kitty therapy i gained & have sustained 15 lbs over my accursed 111 lbs! i musta needed those alpha waves i lost with our sweet pittypats.. alice now provides <3 there are pix of her around here all over..

licia kinda saved me, when things got bad i reached out & she immediately came to my rescue just like she use to, we zoomed several times before i retreated back into correspondence online.. but it was priceless nonetheless, she was an older wiser, what i call 'classic licia' genuinely caring & there for me ;) still is in case i crash.. she helped me with breathing exercises & guided imageries & a trauma workbook & still has her old sense of humor, which i require.. anyway, glad to hear you still are with k through your challenges too!
so i plan on enjoying this day & not caving to my many ocd terrors, hang in there! you've always been more badass than i am anyday..

reminds me, in all our home repairs & upgrades of late i set up a receiver & speakers so i could pick back up my fender guitar! & then when i sat down with it & picked it up.. all i was struck with was how Heavy it is?! i didn't remember that?? yeah, i'm a total weenie now...?????
oh dear..

ghost

#winter #snow #skyrim #misfits

hey it's snowing! :D i was hoping we'd get one last snow before winter escapes us..
oh my goodness there's a blizzard warning in socal??!

so i've been uploading a bunch of cool skyrim youtube shorts now that i'm playing on series x which captures them perfectly, everything from my homes & pets & serana to the new content i've encountered this time around.. check them out here on my channel, (& much more!!) & please subscribe!
https://www.youtube.com/@ghostatthegate/videos

here's our snowday just getting started <3
https://youtu.be/mSxRe1tH1Ic

& then later.. https://youtu.be/ZZhiUJfsq3E

ghost

#kitty #snow #portland #winter #cat

& then this morning <3
https://youtu.be/r6DjN_1BOgA

ps - be sure to enter! :D
https://a.pgtb.me/p28gv9

em

I love that you have a vanilla shake for lunch! outstanding! When life gives you lemons…
I’ve been juicing and making smoothies and it’s been a surprisingly good experience. I still try to eat regular food for dinner. So far, so good. Keeping my weight no problem.
A friend who is an amazing cook has been teaching me how to make stuffed grape leaves. I just got back and my fingers smell of mint and cinnamon and lemon…heaven. It’s tedious but worth it. Every restaurant i’ve ever had them, they were awful. But these I dream about.
Some snow you got! I’m jealous. Looks like snow skipped us this year, but the cold has not. A total gyp if you ask me. Your yard looks so beautiful buried so deep. Stay cozy with your kitty, who is of course, adorable.
I’m glad you actually did some work with Licia and it wasn’t just a “hello”. I’m glad you have someone in your corner. I’m sorry it got that bad though.
Kay can barely understand a word I say now. I think I’m just going to go and play the piano and make her teach me something.
I went to your doll album to hear the recording but got no sound and I think that’s happened to me in the past? What could be the problem? I hate being stupid about techy things 😠

Well, I’m off to take a bubble bath because I’ve got a chill I can’t shake 🥶.

Later ghost, take care!!
em
ps- those guitars weigh a TON! It’s not you. I’ve got a really pretty burgundy telecaster and an adorable mini martin acoustic. The martin was real getting worn in. I had dreams of it looking like Willie Nelsons guitar. Sniffle.

ghost

oh bummer, you probably have a mac? mac/apple stuff notoriously steals the sound on their devices, they've always charged $ for music like through old itunes etc so they don't let you hear anything for free like on other pcs/laptops. i'm sorry about that, i thought you might even enjoy some of our nature trails albums with music too, they're like nature therapy for me when i can't actually get out on the trail, you know? licia got me trying these 'guided imageries' to practice deep breathing, calming, to help me sleep, destress etc? at first they made me sob like a big baby.. so safe, so comforting.. lol but after awhile i started using my own albums with music that has always helped me self soothe.. my gallery is now chock full of them, nature therapy, art therapy.. it all helps.. if you have an old laptop around that isn't apple, come try out that doll album again sometime.. it always feels so nostalgic & gives me a smile :)

this snow! i hoped winter wasn't over with us yet, so lovely to have one more snow event, i'm enjoying it & hoping it doesn't lead to anything less fun, power out, ice issues or something flying off the house.. that's my new phobia, things flying off the house, since our skylights did this after our new roof install! :o yeah, my nervous system is indeed traumatized these days..

i'm glad you have k there for you too, we need emotional backup these days, am i right? i'm still here if you ever need an eccentric ghost to talk with ;) yeah i'm kinda retired. well, in that i was tired before & now i'm tired again..? anyway i have the time.. lols

a bubble bath sounds wonderful, i miss baths. my bp is too low for them now sadly.. i'd probably drift off to sleep & sink under jim morrison style..? enjoy & keep warm.. ;)

ghost

https://twitter.com/CallSignWhisker/status/1628775550587379712?s=20
;)

ghost

#ghostcloset #antifashion #emilystrange #goth #vampires #lostandfoundtoys

fun posts this week at the lost & found as i update my ghost closet antifashion show with 2023 stuff starting here on this strange saturday : https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/ghost-closet-antifashion-more-emily-strange.html ;)

ghost

#ghostcloset #antifashion #lostandfoundtoys #vangogh #radiohead #stickers #music

& more:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/ghost-closet-antifashion-radiohead-stickers.html

i can't help but think of every wild cat pacing around in zoo enclosures when i see myself in my own beloved vampire suite pacing around ocd style ;)

& these beauties!

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/02/ghost-closet-antifashion-starry-night-boots.html

oh p.s. as all this snow began melting & sloughing off the roof & possibly ice slipping down the downspout beside the head of my bed just outside my window it woke me up making scary metal rumbling sounds! :o & of course i imagined Something's flying off the house! mysterious, piles of snow around the perimeter/yard but nothing bad.. lol
i wonder if licia might want to declare a new phobia? & name it after me! :D 'aerodomibreniphobia' 'domicilavibrenophobia'.. needs some scientific work.. em? opinion? ;)

ghost

p.s. how do my ads know just what i need? it's downright predatory! https://www.amazon.com/Jet-Creations-Inflatable-Decoration-Birthday/dp/B07RN8ZRSZ/ref=sr_1_27_sspa?crid=J0BGQ33Z49Y5&keywords=paper+doll&qid=1677611875&refinements=p_76%3A1249179011&rnid=1249177011&rps=1&s=toys-and-games&sprefix=paper+doll%2Caps%2C148&sr=1-27-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFCTzdNUEkyREIxT04mZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA3MzIzMzJHTDZHN0Y1OVQzNU8mZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMDYwNTUwMTFKWTczTDFaRURSSFQmd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGZfbmV4dCZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

ghost

#snow #portland #pdx #winter #art #ghostgallery #infj #music #rowsofneveropeneddoors

so the snow is still around in bits, but possibility of more saturday night :) already it has been the most snow in pdx in 80 years! second most of all time <3
i'm just here with my migraine smiling because i happen to be on insta right as james taylor was posting up his pic of himself & joni mitchell last night at the gershwin awards so i left a comment & he liked it! :D this always amazes me..https://www.instagram.com/p/CpS0PB5OU98/ (could be some guy that just does his social media? but i've had too many real encounters with people i greatly admire over all the years to be cynical ;)

also i just posted up my latest art album here: http://brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerystilling.html (sound up please!)

ghost

#cats #birds #kitty #pdx #portland #oregon #snow #winter

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/snowdays-feb-2023-mailbox.html

& free peanuts! (a few pix on)

!!!! https://www.theapollobox.com/product/sku1414807/realistic-cat-toy-backpack

ghost

#midlake #ghostgallery #art #rowsofneveropeneddoors #guitar #smallworld #insta

oh my! speaking of guitars & insta encounters, joseph m, guitarist for one of my favorite bands, midlake, just liked 2 of my insta art posts/pieces :D
https://www.instagram.com/p/CofDdzHrHxP/

small world, huh?

ghost

:O :)
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/brenda-trending-on-twitter-copy.html

ghost

#skyrim #vampire #snow #lostandfoundtoys #rpg

once it's nighttime i like to spread my wings..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2023/03/skyrim-sunday.html

hey! it's snowing again! :D

em

Getting jealous of all the rock star attention you’re getting! Pretty exciting. Checked out the recent album you posted. I really like it. You seem to be in a new place? I don’t know anyfuckingthing about art though. I actually have a couple of nice pieces in my house because my sister in law and an old high school friend are painters and gave us some of their work. I love my sister in laws painting a lot. I also have a painting made by a porcupine. My son and his girlfriend both work at the Long Island Aquarium. She works with the animals and apparently they put paint on the quills and somehow get the porcupine to scratch it on canvass. I’m serious. We didn’t get snow this year! Guess it all fell on you. Can’t believe how much you got. I’m sorry you’ve got a migraine. I only ever had one and it was recently following one of my IVIG treatments. Holy cow! I threw up. I don’t know how you have dealt with that for so long 😥. Also, stay away from the tub Jim Morrison! Dang your bp is low! Some day check out our local luthier Joe Jesselli. He’s done work on our guitars and I’ve hung out for hours talking with him about EVERYTHING, never realizing he’s like, SOMEBODY! You would love him. NYT called him the Stadivarius of guitars. That’s the best I can do to match your current rock star interactions 🤩. Ciao ghost,
em

ghost

em!
good to hear from you, i'm so sorry you barfed! i'm in one of my notorious migraines right now, nothing touches this kind because it's that gorgeous big 'worm' full moon looming that triggers it :o so it was nice to get your comment while i'm sitting here in a dark room coping with muh pain.. (fortunately my migraines don't make me throw up like some, but i get the classic 'auras' sometimes which are actually very beautiful & yet scary.. because sometimes i lose my mind & can't talk or understand words till it's over..)
so i looked at that guy's site, wow, those are like Art guitars! beautiful stuff.. since discovering my fender is complicated & heavy i kinda miss my old acoustic, can't recall what became of it?

new place? so we're in the same house now 17 years or so, but have done substantial upgrades & repairs over the last few years so the house looks a little different.. i have a stairway gallery of my art here at home & i'm always blown away when someone comes to do work here & asks if they're for sale? ! :D lols i still have up one of lyly's pieces there too, remember her from my old forum, the french orphan artist?

so your son gets to work at an aquarium? how cool! what a dream job.. i've seen online artstuff by various creatures that way, ravens & such, but never heard of a porcupine painter, what a unique piece to own, seriously..
i went through a few years of abstract painting there & put up several albums at the ghost gallery with associated music, like a phase? now i'm getting experimental, i'll try anything new once.. i like to paint in the style of my favorite artists, trying out mostly children's book illustrators i love, you know? it was amazing, the last album i did that way was eric carle style, & it was exposure therapy for me because as an ocd person i don't like handling glue, but i did it, & the guys wanted me to hang up my piece i did of our pittypat girls in our diningroom (right beside their ashes in the room they loved so much) & i swear, right as we were hanging it eric carle died. i saw it on twitter immediately & i was shocked, but i thought what better legacy to leave as an artist, right? to have other artists following in his footsteps right up to that moment, huh? <3
it's up in this album, but i guess you won't get the (essential) music? :(
http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallery11.html
wish i could help you out with that, i think you'd like our nature albums..

well, please comment here anytime, ok? i'm a lonely ghost these days, you may remember how reclusive i've been? yeah that's why the many brushes with famous people kinda blows me away? everyone from colin meloy of the decemberists to lou diamond phillips & his emotional support cats <3 strange era we're in..

take care & no more barfing!!

p.s. (i post my weird ads here regularly.. just sayin')
what the actual fuck?
talk about 'no boring socks'???
https://www.temu.com/solid-toe-socks-cotton-socks-five-finger-socks-for-running-athletic-womens-stockings-hosiery-g-601099512197964.html?top_gallery_url=https%3A%2F%2Fimg.kwcdn.com%2Fproduct%2Fenhanced_images%2Fe862785ac4481bc6a700b4075d83feae_enhanced.jpg&spec_gallery_id=4781772&enable_cache=1&_oak_adg_ctx=a-7c8c513a~c-f4ff20e9&_x_vst_scene=adg&_x_ads_sub_channel=feed&_x_ns_prz_type=-1&_x_ns_sku_id=17592189482541&_x_ads_channel=google&_x_gmc_account=647900107&_x_login_type=Google&_x_bg_adid=gd56112-2&_x_ads_account=8293573393&_x_ads_set=19710147776&_x_ads_id=149200692947&_x_ads_creative_id=648653014711&_x_ns_source=d&_x_ns_gclid=EAIaIQobChMImoyWs4jI_QIVRQx9Ch0A-g7cEAEYASADEgJUHPD_BwE&_x_ns_placement=www.pch.com&_x_ns_match_type=&_x_ns_ad_position=&_x_ns_product_id=&_x_ns_target=&_x_ns_devicemodel=&_x_ns_wbraid=%7Bwbraid%7D&_x_ns_gbraid=%7Bgbraid%7D&refer_page_name=un3&refer_page_id=10216_1678131887601_zo856j828l&refer_page_sn=10216&_x_sessn_id=widjt5d69w

ghost

#moon #pdx #portland #oregon #migraine

there's the worm moon..
(& the migraine's still here..)
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/march-worm-moon-2023.html

ghost

#snow #portland #pdx #migraine #cats

the migraine is gone & it's snowing Again! :D
alice is here beside me at her bird/squirrel watching cushion by the frenchdoor windows happily watching the big blue steller's jays, varied thrush & towhees etc all coming to get the peanuts we leave out for them <3
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/alice-birdwatch-march-2023-x.html
big flakes!! what if this big impending 'weather event' we're expecting is more snow instead of rain?! please yes!!

p.s. ok so as i was off to the kitchen fetching my very boston style coffee miss alice was up to mischief & prancing on my laptop, several screens were left up.. in short, if anyone who reads this is a mutual on twitter i apologize for any mysterious messages All in Caps & going on & on.... ................ .................... ....................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it wasn't me.


...

..or maybe it was? ;)

https://youtu.be/7AiDzONrcj4
(go ask alice.. i think she'll know.)

em

Morning ghost,
When I wrote that you were in a “new place” I meant artistically 😎. All seemed new to me. I like it.
Well, I’m sitting here getting my ivig and steroid infusion. I don’t think it’s doing much, but it’s my only hope. It’s supposed to be cumulative so not surprising that I haven’t seen much benefit but I’m starting to worry.
It’s so disorienting to lose my speech. I’m disappearing. I’m pretty much by myself now.

Looks like spring is on the way here. I’ll be glad to get out more. We bought a 32 ft sailboat in 2021 and sailed ( motored because they didn’t have enough time to rig it) from Buzzards Bay to Northport harbor. Spent that summer doing a lot of learning and another trip to the Hamptons. That’s a lot for new sailors, but unfortunately it was that trip that I first got sick. Anyway, we had to sell her last summer because of what’s happening. So sad. We had such plans. However, I do have a super cool 21 ft powered canoe called a Maine Freighter and holy moses have we had fun with that thing! It’s a real attention getter. It’s excellent for exploring and it can go in as little as 1 ft of water, so we get to do some Louis and Clarke exploring. So, I’ve got that going for me and I can still walk pretty far. Wish I knew how to attach a photo or video of it but I don’t know how on here.

I’m sure that snow and ice sloughing off sounds ominous! I’m always looking up after a storm. Most people don’t consider that, but my brother almost got crushed by a branch that fell the morning after an ice storm, so we learned the scary way. Your going to have flooding, yes? All the rivers will be raging this spring. Good for the paddlers but too many people under estimate the power of water and get swept away. I keep thinking about my trips to the Sierras and Cascades.
Ah, phooey! I’m melancholy today.
Take Care
em

ghost

i thought that might be what you meant, em.. yeah that last album was me trying to use free association to still my ocd mind, art therapy attempt? mindfulness? i always like to try something new.. i've found my own art & nature trail photo albums with carefully chosen music calm me best.. i wish they worked for you too! (are you on an apple device?) i'm sorry your options are limited & you feel meloncholy..
you disappear? nope, can't happen. type. text. rant. strum. hell i can Still hear you belting out 'Don't let me down!' from here ;) but i feelya.. as a longtime ghost i know these things..
i hope this time doesn't result in another migraine/barfing episode? i know the steroids can help with many things, my kitties were on them, licia's on them with her autoimmunity issues.. give it time? these days our philosophy is we take our time, & each thing in its season, we're so thankful we've done each thing we enjoy as we can because as you know, things change..
you have a canoe? oh my gosh! i always wanted even just a little rowboat ;) get out there & adventure all you can & tell me all about it, ok? i'm so nervous about the outside world now, my big plans are to take some good long drives & find spots to go rockhounding once the rain lets up some & the rivers aren't running so high.. i am a collector of all things, including tiny jasper treasures & freshwater snail shells <3 we find the most remote spots we can & this is about all i can do these days, so take heart! you've always been a badass, out there on your bike or on the trail.. get all the goodstuff you can, right?

us last year at sunset falls: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/sunset-falls-trail-may-2022-5.html

& the nehelem river spot: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/april-2022-nehelem-river-drive-rockhounds-bren-peace.html

we've been lucky to never get flooding here at the house thankfully, hope that continues to be the case? what's hard has been the summers, longer than ever now & we had a 'heat event' i posted about here last year where we hit a whopping 118!!! unbefuckinglievable. i have pmle, basically sun allergy. yes. i am full vampire now, so i have to choose my trips & cover up with hoodies.. because of course i do.
so in my ocd boredom i even did a full on ghost closet antifashion show as you'll see in my most recent post here, where i play my favorite music & share all my cool retro clothes i never get to wear anywhere anymore.. wahhh!!!! well, i had too much fun with it, even though i can see myself now pacing around ocd style & it reminds me of big cats in zoos, you know?
check it out if you want a laugh, at least you'll get sound on youtubes, right?
hope you feel better this time, i'm always here em.. if i can be of any help to you i will be, ok? i really have missed talking to you, wasn't just saying that.. ;)

em

Howdy,
Ok, Alice is a movie star! I called contacting the cat food company way before you mentioned it 🤣. There is a career waiting to happen. What a beauty she is with all her colors and somehow manages also to be a white cat. Now that’s unusual.

Had a rough week, nothing to do with treatment, this is just really hard. And then on St Patricks Day my brothers wife died. Long illness, very sad. Laying low 😔

I’m looking forward to spring. Fall is the best, but I love spring. Which is what? like Wednesday!? Thank God.
Take care,
em

ghost

she's definitely an interesting breed, oriental shorthair mix rescue kitty from hawaii <3
i'm so sorry for your loss em, so much grief & loss these days, i'm glad you're happy for spring, i'm gonna try & get out as i can for spring, 'cause come summer i turn into a pile of ash over & over..
it's been a rough few days here too, but now raven's pain is being managed by plenty of antibiotics & vicodin, so he's kinda high-ish & seeing faces in the doorknob reflection..? just gotta get him through tuesday's surgery..
super stressful with him in so much pain, as a mom, you know?
hang in there & i will too,
always look forward to reading your comments ;)

em

Howdy,
How did the surgery go? Teeth problems are a nightmare! Been through some bad stuff myself, mostly caused by a bad dentist. My father was a lawyer who bartered his services with a friend who was a dentist and that sicko dentist drilled the crap out of our teeth creating problems later on. My father could never even consider the possibility because the guy was his friend, but the guy wasn’t anybody’s friend. Hope all has healed!
Looks like Kay and I are finally coming to an end. I can’t speak and trying to communicate is creating excessive anxiety. I might go from time to time to hang out in her beautiful backyard in silence, but I’m going broke also, so I dont know. She has an amazing green thumb. I can’t believe this is happening though. Sorry for crapping up your site with my depressing situation!
Is there a way to attach photos to these posts? When I mentioned my freighter canoe, I don’t think you realize what an absolute monster the thing is, and it flies with a 15 hp. Id love to post a photo or video. I’ve got several padding canoes and taken them on such great adventures, but the freighter is a whole other story 🤩. Last summer we were cruising through Sag Harbor where all the rich people go. As we went by a super yacht, a group of people on deck shouted that they thought we had a really cool boat. I said I liked theirs too 😊. It is a guaranteed attention getter. Everyone says the same thing: “That’s all you need!”. It’s true. We’ve done a lot of exploring and the maintenance is effortless. The 32 ft sailboat we just sold was SO much work and a crazy money pit. Fun though. I’m looking forward to it this summer. Fingers crossed.
How are you doing? Migraines pass yet? Snow melted yet? Ice disasters averted?
Take care ghost,
em

ghost

hey emma, good to hear from you!
yeah i updated all about raven's debacle in the next coupla' posts/comments here: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/snowballinhell/2023/03/ghost-closet-antifashion.html
was checking up on you down at the bottom of the comments ;)

& here: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/snowballinhell/2023/03/my-echo-my-shadow-me.html

Please don't worry about 'being depressing' about what you're dealing with em! you'd have some real competition with me & my dips into the dark myself here at this pitiful old ghost blog ;)
i'm so sorry you're having to wind up things with k.. i've resorted to email 'sessions' here & there with licia when things crash for me here.. crisis management basically..
are you good at right hand typing ok? thanks to technology you cannot be silenced, right?
so weather wise we've had some wild weather, still getting hail, but not scary winds like before. on those other posts i mention how licia did some research regarding my new phobia about things flying off the house? she suggests it's wizard of oz related! ;D because of course it is, & yes we should name it after me! soon after this decision they started getting wild weather down her way & i think my new phobia is gonna go viral?! what with all the 'bomb cyclones' & atmospheric rivers.. anyway, we're definitely watching out for flying monkeys (& i can hear the music already..) ;)
(i've also messaged you under separate cover ;)

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cat girl

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lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
Aroundthebend
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a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

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  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
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    i'm mad. you're mad."
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