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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« scary merry xmas! | Main | the pittypats »

December 27, 2022


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#xmas #christmas #winter #depression #mentalhealth #sad #dolly #rankinbass #tv #vintage #innerchild #kids #misfit

att: emma! if you're still there, the mystery of the misfit dolly on the island of misfit toys has been solved.. check it out over at the lost & found here:
& also i must say, i do not believe hermie became a dentist, i'm convinced he became the well-known world traveler, rick steves ;) love this guy!
just sayin'..
take care all my fellow misfits <3


#xmas #misfits #happynewyear2023 #ghostblog #infj #blog #migraine #butterfly #dream #song

2022 had to slip in one last left temple migraine for me as a parting shot? it's still with me this morning as i greet the new year.. it's wet out so thankfully no fear of fire in the night from the m80s & other fireworks we heard here in the night.. i think ocd folk like my son & i are especially susceptible to earworms? as there are taboo subjects we have in place to prevent us remembering certain old internet tunes, to remain unnamed. but listening to holiday music & insomnia create an interesting groggy mindworld for me, combined with fading memory & my natural ocd tendency to transpose words & numbers etc.. i fall asleep eventually with bits of songs from whoville or lately kate smith.. 'crinkle bells ringing' ?? 'wisemen kissing under the mistletoe' ??? anyway i did sleep enough to awaken from a pleasant dream where i spied a large yellow butterfly nearby, & i ushered it gently to come closer to me with the palm of my hand in the air, it did, & it hovered by me & then it Smiled at me! with its tiny little face! :) <3 lol..
so i looked back at old posts here for something xmas related & discovered my first xmas post here way back in 2006:

talk about time machines.. this ghostblog is one for me..
ok 2023.
be kind.


Sorry your migraine is still around today. =( Hang in there, Bren!


#winter #winds #sunrise #newyear #trees #ghostgallery #lowroar #news #infj #harp #music #butterfly #rowsofneveropeneddoors

'red sky in the morning, sailors take warning' nikon just doesn't do justice to today's sunrise, which was dark red, with the return of high winds from the gorge to the east..
just wanted to mention, i read several good substacks regularly, colin meloy of the decemberists, dan rather, steven beschloss & mary trump all are excellent reads these days..
sid krofft's livestreams on insta on sundays are fun too, what a cool guy..
& good news, after all these years tim smith (harp), formerly of midlake, is about to finally release an album, he's been off in the woods somewhere & looks like gandalf now.. looking forward to it dropping soon!
wonder what's going on with ben cooper as well, haven't heard much for quite awhile?
& sadly the low roar singer who did those haunting tunes in raven's cool death stranding playthrough died recently.. :(
my migraine residue is gone, thankfully, no lingering symptoms today..


Glad your migraine is gone and you were able to enjoy the sunrise and your reading and music again. <3


#wind #winter #storm

here come the high winds again!! yikes.. take care sally, it looks like we're in for another storm?


#fridaythe13th #infj #blog #innerchild #ghostgallery #cats #esp #goth #girls #moon #rowsofneveropeneddoors #emilythestrange #vampire #skyrim #skyrimanniversaryedition #toys #lostandfoundtoys

raven caught a cool shot of that wolf moon that came with such a migraine for me ~

so our home upgrades & repairs have continued as we had our garage doors replaced with new metal ones, it's always good & sound to invest in our home & future security i think, especially in these weird weather times of climate change, but i also have trouble as i've mentioned before, whenever people come to work in or on the house, i guess my nervous system is always just waiting for whatever emergency or disaster must be coming? so i just get lost in the snowy lands of skyrim these days, building my homes there & living as a vampire with my adopted orphan girls & their new pet fox, my horses & catching fish for my new aquariums i added to my cellar :) ~

i must say i'm a book thief to the utmost degree, building my library in the tower i added to windstad manor.. (toxic was a book thief herself & would be proud, well, she's the one doing it still i imagine ;) she also couldn't wait to send our niece's little boy his bday present early, it's a cardboard playhouse you color yourself! much like the 2 we have acquired over the decades, the vintage one i bought back in the 80's & a later one i bought & used for one of my ghost gallery installations here,
patchwork playhouse ~

i can't wait for him to get it & hope he has fun with it, i also think their kitty, petals, will approve <3

i also posted a flashback friday the 13th emily post today at the lost & found ~
which also links at the end to my art album friday13 which has a favorite cat stevens song covered by elliott smith as its soundtrack..

my ads of late had this.. hm, looks comfortable?

& hey, if you're weird & bored like i am be sure to follow me & my blogs here up at my typepad profile ~

;) update: p.s. he loves it!


#vampire #skyrim #infj #skyrimanniversaryedition #rpg #gaming

yesterday i ventured into skyrim again, my beautiful place to get lost, & i did, get lost.. while exploring ruins i became separated from my horse up in the snowy north & was over encumbered carrying treasures i'd collected, i couldn't make it home.. but in a cool & uncanny twist of fate i discovered a snowcave called dimhollow crypt, where i only had to kill a couple of wolves & i discovered a coffin-like vault in the back.. a perfect little vampire sanctuary to spend the night ;) here's a little peek at it:

today i'll set out & find my way home.. updated my ghostpix screenshot album here too:


#vampire #infj #snowcave #stayinside #agoraphobia #ocd #mentalhealth #skyrim #gaming

ok so i have found my ideal home & i live there now. i'll be posting more about it probably sunday over at the lost & found, but for now welcome inside for a very quick peek at my perfect vampire snowcave estate -

p.s. i found & tamed another wild horse.. <3


Just checking in to see how things are going and see you posted here today too. =)


hi sally,
so i have called myself an 'escape artist' whether it's through actual art or just escaping any way i can from the craziness of these days, today i posted our game gallery youtubes over at the lost & found, & tomorrow i'll follow it up with my current skyrim youtubes, it's my beautiful place to get lost for sure, i have 7 different homes there now, 3 i built myself from the iron ore & sawn logs & clay i worked on.. i've adopted 2 orphan girls as my daughters & they have pets & dolls & a prolific library of books of course.. lol ;) oh yeah, & i am a vampire ;)

update ~

p.s. sally did you see that interesting lot of 'cereal premium gumbitties' i linked in the comments? (sorry my insta is not working today, can't message!)


Hey Bren, I think it's cool you can escape into your games the way that you do =)..... I don't think those are cereal premiums and are erasers, but I don't think they came in cereal even if they are erasers, but who knows? I think they were just made in the same factory. I'm not going to comment about them on your other post though, because I'm still embarrassed about that long OCD comment. I don't really know anything and there is so much misinformation so I'm just guessing on most of it, because some of the people that I thought knew what they were taling about and believed, really didn't or just told me stuff that wasn't true. Like you said before, buyer beware!


yeah i'm skeptical about those bittys myself, saved photos but won't be biting on that one, they may just be mold markings & the person's guessing cereal premiums? but i left it out there in case anyone actually knows anything?? don't worry about that comment, hey, any info we can get is all good!
oh yes i love my skyrim homes <3 i've been spending so much time there i forget about my daily troubles, so it's game therapy? ;)
is the weather better there now? we're still really cold & wet, but would like more snow at least.. fingers x'd..


The rain is gone for now, but returning in a few more days I think.... I never learned how to play any of those games, but if I did, I would probably get addicted. HaHa! :D..... That seller has those other rubber toys that I think are cereal premiums and I think they're all factory rejects that they got in a large lot from a former employee or something is the story/background on them supposedly I think. If you look at the other listings, they have the Lucky Charms Leprechaun, Underdog and Rocky and Bullwinkle toys. You've seen the Gumby's like that packaged as Gumbitty erasers or have them packaged that way, don't you? I know there was that Cheerios T-shirt and stuff, so maybe Gumby and pokey did come in cereal back in the 60's too? When was that Gumby T-shirt offer on Cheerios? Was it the 90's? Was Gumby or Pokey in the box and then the T-shirt could be ordered? I think those Gumby and Pokey's that seller has could've been made where the Underdog and the others were made, since they're rubbery plastic and maybe that factory had contracted with the cereal company like they did with Lakeside Toy company to make the Gumby and Pokey. The weird thing is that General Mills makes Cheerios and had Gumby advertised and they also make the Lucky Charms, so maybe Gumby and Pokey were in General Mills cereal back in the 60's like those other rubber toys. I'm not sure which cereal the Rocky and Bullwinkle and Underdog came in though. Very interesting though. Maybe General Mills cobtracted with Lakeside and had the Gumby and Pokey in some kind of cereal. I have not seen any kind of ads though from back then, but it's possible.

i use to have a subscription to the nj croce newsletter on my gumbyland email, just checked the site, they have a free download of their 2021 catalog i just snagged -

i never saw a gumby bitty in cereal, although it seems a good idea. but you know i've seen many prospective gumby projects just never come to fruition.. his first videogame didn't get picked up but showed up in a later form for example, lots of spitballing of ideas that never happened, so you never know? frosted cheerios was in 1997..

yeah, skyrim's addicting for sure, but i've been addicted to fantasy rpg gaming now for oh.. 4 decades or so? & i'm still kicking ass.. lols.. i love the homes there.. so i have to stay strong to protect my girls & my pets & horses <3


That cereal premium listing does make me wonder more now. NJ Croce has made lots of Gumby's for different events like the Sports ones and stuff. I think Nick Croce mentioned not printing the catalogs anymore. I didn't download that, but it would be cool to download and print. That is so cool that you are into those games and it seems so real, another life for sure since you have been doing it for so long. <3


ok so i've seen the seller's other lots, maybe they know something.. 60s lakeside bittys much like the 'erasers' as you mentioned, maybe they had planned to use them as cereal premiums, but then that fell through? cool but pricey!

nothing new in the gumby items in the nj croce catalog now, but i clicked on downloads at the top & got the 2021 catalog just for archive/reference..

off to skryim.. ;)


I don't think much more new NJ Croce stuff will come out/be manufactured until Fox does something with Gumby and adverises it ?

Enjoy Skyrim... =)


#skyrim #elderscrolls #videogame #skyrimanniversaryedition #rpg #fantasy #seriesx #gaming

even a bad day in skyrim is better than one here in the 'real' world.. ;)


I agree with you! That is a cool video clip from your game! Scary, but very cool! Sadly, I have never played or learned how to play games like that.....


yeah we've been a gaming family forever, even our kitties! a few days ago i posted up our game gallery youtubes at the toy blog, they start way back in the day.. but my favorite is the third snes one where it says our kitties are included? the last 5 minutes show how fascinated even our girls were with our gameworlds <3

the ps2 one has miss pickles too.. <3 our girl, boopy, was so into videogames that she'd try to play with the kitties i rescued in fallout, where i made an old drive-in into my home compound kitty rescue! i've also played as a cat person in some games & she seemed to know it was me! i miss my girls.. alice is uninterested.. lols
i really am someone who needs my games or i would spend far too much time worrying myself to death.. rather let giants get me.. ;)


oh my.
(add to cart.)


uh oh.

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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