more things behind the sun..

halloween is in only a couple weeks, but we've still had persistent high temps breaking records & pissing off us vampires, they call it 'augtober' :(
i'm still working on my upcoming halloween party dollscape, with alice's (Not.) help.. making chocolate halloween cupcakes for raven's birthday tomorrow, & sending off a gumby fun pack for my niece's son, at our local ups store which just happens to be next door to the baskin robbins president joe biden stopped by for ice-cream over the weekend before leaving portland :) posting at the lost & found toy blog all through october since it's my favorite time of year & i've been saving up cool stuff to share.. praying for emmanuel the emu, who is fighting to survive bird flu after almost all of his bird friends have been lost :(

mr dad & i are starting on some other long term winter mini house updates so we have some cool work we can do once the snow comes.. a large kafkaesque ladybug now resides in the attic of ladybug house & our original yellow dollhouse is now transforming into the 'liddell' yellow house ;) i'm doing better most days & am at what i think of as a normal weight now thanks to kitty therapy & self-inflicted ocd exposure therapy? trying my best, but struggling mentally at times as always.. i saw a van gogh quote recently that sums up being an infj pretty well i think 'i don't know if i'm extremely sensitive or life is unbearable?'
yep. long ago i kept a things behind the sun journal.. nowadays i'm penning my more things behind the sun journal.. 

i've made the realization over these last months that i am still as agoraphobic as i was in the dim past, i was just fortunate enough to be able to live a lifestyle that kept me safe & distracted from facing that fact, even from using that term.. for so long..

lyrics of the day still an old favorite from nick drake:

things behind the sun

please beware of them that stare
they'll only smile to see you while
your time away
& once you've seen what they have been
to win the earth just won't seem worth
your night or your day
who'll hear what i say?
look around you find the ground
is not so far from where you are
but don't be too wise
for down below they never grow
they're always tired & charms are hired
from out of their eyes
never surprise.

take your time & you'll be fine
& say a prayer for people there
who live on the floor
& if you see what's meant to be
don't name the day or try to say
it happened before

don't be shy you'll learn to fly
& see the sun when day is done
if only you see
just what you are beneath a star
that came to stay one rainy day
in autumn for free
just be what you'll be
please beware of them that stare
they'll only smile to see you while
your time away
& once you've seen what they have been
to win the earth just won't seem worth
your night or your day
who'll hear what I say?

open up the broken cup
let goodly sin and sunshine in
yes that's today
& open wide the hymns you hide
you'll find renown while people frown
at things that you say
but say what you'll say
about the farmers & the fun
& the things behind the sun
& the people around your head
who say everything's been said
& the movement in your brain
that sends you out into the rain..

 

continued as usual in the comments..

bren