once upon a time 16 years or so ago, i started this blog. i was a regular at the popular elliott smith fan forum called sweetaddy & took the name from one of his song lyrics, in fact my posts here were usually daily smith favorite song lyrics & i hosted my own lyrics page up at my gumbyland website here also :
from a poison well
i was new to portland & listened to elliott's music here all the time & i'd photo places he use to go & often places he mentioned in his songs..
my old portland photo album..
i had been so shocked to hear of his suicide not long before we left socal for pdx..
& i felt elliott's words as i walked rainy portland streets with my ipod earphones in & his sad quiet rares whispering to me..
we all obsessed over his lyrics at sweetaddy,
he was such a gifted songwriter & musician..
i was known at sweetaddy as friendlyghost then, & was even asked by the modgod running the forum if i'd like to be modgoddess.. <3
which i declined because i was already hosting my own support forum at the time, but that always meant alot to me, because he called me 'universally respected' there,
& that mattered to me :)
sweetaddy finally ended, but my little ghostblog kept on, sometimes busy, sometimes a true ghostblog..
i became known more as 'ghost' or 'justaghost' (still elliott-isms)
anyway i let the blog sit for a few years neglected & then brought it back once so i could have a place to express my sometimes difficult infj ghost life..
i know it's like talking to myself,
but apparently i need that..
his music makes me too sad now.
i'm having trouble with lost loved ones as well.
does grief get easier over time?
my experience has been the opposite, as time goes on & loved ones feel farther & farther away the sadness aches more & more, especially with other sad souls, like he was, like others i knew..
these days i'm feeling like i'm back to my old snowballinhell persona.. not very hopeful..
anyway my lyrics of the day are from elliott:
little one
one more little one
i'll go down
& stay down
& sleep the rest of the day
dream new music to calm down
stay down & keep evil away
i can hear you asleep
changing your shape
dissolve in some dream
as a new one appears
to take you along
where you've never been
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
the moonlight tonight
seems to belong to me
'cause i, even those who can't sleep
they need some company
one hit wouldn't hurt a bit
i'll go down
see what's there to find
if it's good shit
you won't know
& i won't know
you've found that i've died
if i seem to be reckless with myself
it's the fault of no one
all things have a place
under the moon
as well as the sun
one more little one
i love you..
i paired this old favorite up with my latest toxic inner child dollscape..
little raven's lost days (sound up)
(my name is irish for little raven)
more in the comments as usual..
