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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
Rain
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)


Brenghost
vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
Cherrytreemoon
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Scandalous
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

Smith
my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
Pdx
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

Thingsbehindthesun
things behind the sun (journals)
Razorblades
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
www.flickr.com
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Brenkitty
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

Enter
halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..


  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    NEW ELDER SCROLLS!!
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

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June 05, 2022

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ghost

#cats #kitty #alice #thesmile #jan6 #infj #eldenring #gaming #migraine #depression #summer #guncontrolnow

summer is finally upon us. not happy. :( my head aches & it's hard to sleep. but it is our sweet alice's first birthday today, she has brought such life back into our home <3
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2022/06/happy-birthday-alice.html

i've been lost in elden ring for the most part, & for my own birthday in july i ordered a pair of green converse hi-tops to replace my poor 10+ year old black ones.. custom made with black laces & my name on the backs, black flowers.. i will paint a red heart on the right toe in memory of the slaughter of innocents like the young lost artist & would-be marine biologist, toxic understands well the need to have mattered in this world.. <3

& today i'll be watching rachel & the jan 6 committee coverage on msnbc..

today's lyrics from the smile -
the same:
we don't need to fight
look towards the light
grab it in with both hands
what you know is right
somebody's falling down
somebody's telling lies
simple ass motherfuckers
one mistake after another
people in the streets
please, people in the streets
somebody's hearing voices
somebody's going down, down, down.
you're going down
you're going down
you're going down
people in the streets
please, we all want the same
please, we are all the same
please, we all want the same
please!
we are all the same
we all want the same
we all want the same..

bren

ghost

#alice #cats #infj #thesmile #spring #summer #rain #portland #atmosphericriver #ghostgallery #noboringsocks #boredshopping

i'm happy to report that after peeking at us here in portland for a day summer decided to take a hike & we relapsed into rainsoaked spring once again :D due to this 'atmospheric river' that has us breaking all spring rainfall records back to 1940 so far.. i'll take it! but with spring comes spring cleaning, we're getting it done, in fact i use to joke about how i even got my sewing done, because sewing was never really my favorite task to do.. well, in the last couple years i've actually sewn my own toys, pillows & doll items just for fun, & now i've sewn up every hole in every sock in my notorious #noboringsocks collection! in fact alice was right here by my side 'helping' me, so i made her a little hat :D https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/little_alice_in_wonderlan/alice-in-her-beanie-hat.html (2 pix here)

i've also been doing well trying not to resort to boredshopping so much, i've not purchased these items that came up as ads for me lately:
https://store.theanimalrescuesite.greatergood.com/products/85975-purple-paw-pet-pouch-hooded-sweatshirt?adId=253886&placementId=604528&gg-cause=animal-rescue&gg_source=ARS&gg_medium=house&gg_campaign=Ad-550_Purple%20Paw%20Pet%20Pouch%20Hooded%20Sweatshirt%20-%20ARS%20-%20INT%20&gg_content=2022-06%2F550purplepawpet_220607101217.jpg&_ga=2.241689154.1586524348.1654960707-1609966405.1623423848
https://www.entertainmentearth.com/product/DC788943?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIgP3f2eah-AIVR5_sCh09bwBYEAEYASAFEgKuIvD_BwE
https://www.designtoscano.com/products/suspending-death-hanging-skeleton-sculpture-jq9661?utm_source=criteo&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=criteolower
https://www.designtoscano.com/products/bark-black-forest-tree-ent-statue-cl5866?sku=MMYSXXXCL5866&utm_source=google&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=freeshop&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7OekvbKV-AIVowb5AB3wkgEFEAEYASAFEgKe3fD_BwE
https://www.designtoscano.com/products/evil-tree-of-knowledge-wall-sculpture-cl7134?sku=MMYSXXXCL7134&utm_source=google&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=freeshop&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIw_nDjeWW-AIV2YKnCh2XUQBfEAEYASAFEgL-JPD_BwE

lyrics of the day are again by the smile -
skrting on the surface

when we realize we have only to dive
& we're out of here
we're just skrting on the surface
we have only to click our fingers
& we'll disappear
we're just skrting on the surface
dull eyes trying to pull you
through the ice
being drawn to a ledge
when we realize that we are broke
& nothing mends
we can drop under the surface
when we realize we are merely held
in suspension
till someone comes along and shakes us
as the pattern lines cross our fingers
like a web
do we die upon the surface?
dull eyes trying to pull you
through the ice
being drawn to the edge
when we realize that we are broke
& nothing mends
we can drop under the surface..

& on the subject of songs, i just retweeted this on twitter & had to reply <3 (one of toxic's favorite songs from childhood..)
https://twitter.com/LiftForever67/status/1536107146575695873?s=20&t=MB-8HwKG2gFcDO0LzLgpvw

also our (now) nice plump robins are sitting on our skylights eating the cherries that fall from above, keeping cover under the branches <3
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/backyard_birdies/robins-cherries-in-the-rainy-skylights.html

ok, so.. back into elden ring.

ghost

#strawberrymoon #moon #moonlovers #portland #oregon #atmosphericriver #eldenring #midlake #infj #photography #cats #kitty #moonmadness

i love living in a rainforest.. check out the super strawberry moon through our atmospheric river filter :o https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/super-strawberry-june-moon-2022.html

so i'm fully immersed now in elden ring, hanging out here in the artist's shack by the cemetery (what else is new?) after a hard day's work.. feels so bloodborne! <3 https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/eldenring-bren-artists-shack.html

lyrics of the day from midlake:

dawning ~
enter
a cautionary tale
not for the faint of heart
for fear it may impale
sentimental breakdown
a mournful man in doubt
tried to be medicinal
but now can't figure out
the dawning of age will be
with or without influence at all
faithfully come
fade in
a glass menagerie
built upon what's left of all
the years in misery
longing for tomorrow &
for what is to never be
again but what remains is thine
own worst enemy
the dawning of age will be
with or without influence at all
faithfully come
morning
& dawn is on the rise
a feelin' of malaisе
continues to deprive
all hе ever wanted
was a purpose to be known
waiting for epiphany
this world may never know
the dawning of age will be
with or without influence at all
faithfully come, come
this cannot allow for us
to live without a love
for one another
this cannot allow for us
to live without a love
for one another
this cannot allow for us
to live without a love
for one another
this cannot allow for us
to live without a love
for one another..

moon madness! https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/alice-playtime-june-2022.html

ghost

#thesmile #junegloom #rain #portland #oregon #infj #music #eldenring #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #lostandfoundtoys #gumby #tolkien #books #library

so it's been a cool rainy june here thankfully, but there's a break in the rain today for the sasquatch's bday :) he's off work & i'm baking him cupcakes while he gets our flourishing lawn mowed, we just got netflix for the month & have all our shows all queued up to watch for awhile & we'll bbq burgers while we can.. then tomorrow is the lost & found toy blog's 10th bday as well, 10 years of daily posts! i've decided that going forward i'll only be posting here & there as i want, like i do here, when i have a cool toy or book to share.. of course going out with a blast because today in the mail i just received a box of rare old prema gumby bendies i snagged recently <3 i promise i will post these up soon! but for now i'm kinda hooked in elden ring & will be heading back there soon..

lyrics of the day:
pana-vision ~ the smile

my eyes are open wide
& now i see you
without your robes on
without your crown

i don't want to hate you
i don’t want to beg
a kind of fascination
that gets in my way

the door that opens wide
my how you've altered
oh heaven help me
is that the time?
beginning without end
never lost never die
unending a beam of light
a tunnel in my mind
as it all pans wide
with a filter on the lens
she sees everything i do
she sees everything i do

i'm without my shoes on
ovеr broken glass
i am dancing for pennies
i am staring straight ahеad

a view that is so wide
it’s gonna break
it's like it holds me in its gaze
if i go it’s because
it’s happened once before
& now it’s starting all again

as it all pans wide
forget everything you knew
forget everything you knew
as it all pans wide

like a newborn child
like a newborn child
like a newborn child
like a child
a child
a child
like a child
a child..

ps now updated: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2022/05/all-who-wander-are-not-lost.html
pps https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_lost_album/mr-dads-bday-2022.html

ghost

#summer #infj #gumby #gumbyland #eldenring #gaming #vampire #cats #thesmile #depression

the world is insane. & summer has reached even us up here in the pacific northwest wonderland. we've been watching all the jan 6 hearings here & recaps with rachel on msnbc..
& we got netflix so we can bingewatch in the ac, catch up on shows.. my last post at the lost & found was old gumby rares, now going forward i'll just post whenever i feel like it, like i do here..
got to message back & forth with rob reger (creator of emily strange <3) over on insta, always amazes me all the cool people this recluse has been able to interact with thanks to the great equalizer of the internet & social media.. we're all just people..
so i get lost in elden ring & alice curls up with me helping me stay healthy :) but these are the weirdest loneliest of times for us here,
each day is a struggle anymore.. i've always had trust issues due to my own personal life experiences, always said 'never trust.' because i just don't see it as prudent. now more than ever..

lyrics of the day from the smile:

free in the knowledge
that one day this will end
free in the knowledge
that everything is change
& this was just a bad moment
we were fumbling around
but we won't get caught like that
soldiers on our backs
we won't get caught like that
a face using fear
to try to keep control
when we get together
well then who knows?
if this is just a bad moment
& we are fumbling around
but we won't get caught like that
soldiers on our backs
we won't get caught like that
i talk to the face in the mirror
but he can't get through
i said 'it's time that you deliver
we see through you'
i talk to the face in the mirror
but he can't get through
turns out we're in this together
both me and you..

recent boredshopping bait:
https://www.entertainmentearth.com/product/AQ48263?utm_source=Criteo&utm_medium=Display&utm_campaign=Lower%20Funnel
ok now this is hard to resist! https://www.entertainmentearth.com/product/AQ48161?rs_oid_rd=4482292295228937&utm_campaign=product_spotlight&utm_content=AQ48161&utm_medium=email&utm_source=promo-AquariusSale-06222022
lovely spam, wonderful spam spam spam spam..

ghost

#catsjudgingthesupremecourt

https://twitter.com/GhostAtTheGate/status/1540732150214823936

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Halloween71
my photo albums (sound up!)

cat girl

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lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
Aroundthebend
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

Danradpic
back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!

ghostfilms

Ghost
lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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