afterthoughts

i mentioned how i thought i'd write another book, of short stories this time, called 'the toyroom'..
some notes so far:

the lost toys

in the stillness of the neglected closet, a small sound in the darkness breaks the long grey silence,
as the lid of the box is pressed open & slips away, & the old toys emerge one by one onto the shelf.

the soldier in his uniform, his arms only a memory, his ears forever ringing, & the rope still tied & hanging from his neck, which was such a feat in itself to accomplish,
left in front of his proud uniform like a badge of his shame.

it was slow going for the little wooden train engine, his wheels giving little traction on even the slightest of inclines..

the forgotten birthday bear, with his birthday pin on, he felt he could lead the way, to where? they didn't know..

the broken clown, his face painted with a smile, whether he wanted to or not, making light of the dreary circumstance..

the doll did not speak, for she was mute, but her head was nevertheless filled with Everything, everything she couldn't say, everything spinning around & around over & over, everything.. everything..

the grey mouse made not a sound.

if they could make it north, to the workshop of santa claus? he might be able to help them.

they had no campfire
but they sat around the heart, the heart in ice.. why was it here?

wishing on the stars..

what do you think?

p.s. new at the ghost gallery rowsofneveropeneddoors ~ afterthoughts

Comments

[ghost]

#summer #vampire #thesmile #infj #rowsofneveropeneddoors

so i officially hate summer already. the oppressive heat arrived & our a/c didn't work so we had to have a repairman out over the weekend.
but not before it all left me just a pile of ash.
more health issues, talked to our dr & now i need an echocardiogram & labs done.. :(

lyrics of the day from the smile:

open the floodgates

don't bore us
get to the chorus
& open the floodgates
we want the good bits
without your bullshit
& no heartaches
someone lead me out the darkness
out the darkness
no tricks
no struggling
then no one gets hurt
we absorb you
we absolve you
throw your rubbish away
someone lead me
out the darkness
out the darkness..

[Sally]

I really like the notes so far....Hang in there, Bren...I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers...<3

[ghost]

thanks sally, i didn't realize i'd become so heat intolerant, it's just another factor that it seems drops my already low bp :o i dread/hate medical stuff so thanks for the prayers, i need'em :)

[Sally]

I dislike the heat too and am sensitive to it too, but unlike you, I don't like the darkness of being cooped up indoors with the artificial light. The heat makes my contac lenses stick to my eyeballs and gives me a headache, so summertime high heat in the 90's & 100's like we've been we've been having forces me to have to stay indoors as much as I can. =(

[ghost]

i think i'm lucky to have just the right kind of light, my room has frenchdoors & is green with green flowered curtains there, i've been opening it when it's cool enough & alice loves watching & listening to all the different birds & squirrels in the trees & on the deck <3 i think the robins had another clutch? i've seen another young fledgling? but sadly yesterday we heard a ruckus & looked out in time to see a hawk flying off with one of the jays! :O with the other jays following loudly.. :( that's how nature is it seems.. so anyway as much as i have to stay in nowadays due to health & sun allergy etc, i still get plenty of nature & cool interaction.. i thought i could deal with heat since we're socal natives, but apparently not anymore :/

[ghost]

#infj #vintage #july4 #ptsd #library #books #nostalgia #movies

so like many of our cats & dogs & veterans, i deal with 4th of july ptsd, it's my least favorite time of year.
fortunately there's a chance of rain here on monday, which would be much nicer than the illegal fireworks & risk of burning our homes down.
i dread looming medical appts so i've been getting lost at the internet archive database downloading vintage treasures..
it's almost as if i was able to go to our library sale afterall (without having to actually go :) & pick out all the good stuff for Free!
no risk, no people, no guilt. cool victorian era children's book pdfs, classics on audiobook, vintage kid shows & old movies..
it's like going down the rabbithole in a time machine..
we'll be bbqing burgers & bingewatching netflix, hoping to break out the ice cream machine & try one of the old fashioned ice cream recipes from my new dover book (to be posted soon at the lost & found) hoping for fresh local boysenberries soon?
& more nostalgia over there lately too:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2022/06/the-videolog.html
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2022/06/videolog-pages.html
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2022/07/videolog-gems.html

btw, do we need a rhino? https://www.designtoscano.com/products/life-sized-rhinoceros-statue-1-ne140042?sku=RFUNXXXNE140042&utm_source=google&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=freeshop&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpb_NjqLQ-AIVE83hCh3M_A24EAEYASADEgIXgPD_BwE

lyrics of the day from midlake:

exile

in the belly of the beast why
don't we walk as thick as thieves lies
are but any other denial
for the many of them wide-eyed
oh but i'm still blind
in a valley o'r the body
made up of winter's only life
remains but a branch
amongst the empty maze
could it be the will
from ancient of days?
oh but i'm still blind
& will we fall in line
& all abide
or grow denial?
the sun's gonna rise & fall by night
& we feel that we're deserving
of its light
now the coming of the ages
fills my sight
it's surrounding me
i can't hide
oh but i'm still..
& will we fall in line
& all abide
or grow denial?
i saw eden fall
after giving all
brought from the promised land
to the acts of man
& now, and now, and now
get out
get out
get out
get out

ps - favorite recent tweet https://twitter.com/lizzard1278/status/1542409124708622336?s=20&t=fBNGmeLOwuJgsdF9VBIkwg

[ghost]

#infj #writing #books #innerchild #toys #psychology #arttherapy

i just have to say i received the nicest compliment ever from mr dad when he came over & read my toyroom notes, him telling me i'm a really good writer really matters to me <3 but he went on to say that as he read my notes he began to try to determine which one was me? the mute doll? & then he said he made the realization,
they are all me..
<3
thanks babe.. <3
i love when i am really actually heard..

based on the lost toys dollscape up at the ghost gallery rows of never opened doors here: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerylosttoys.html (sound up)