muchness!

ok so it's official after just 3 months of kitty therapy i have gained 5 lbs :)
& alice is just under 10 lbs now herself!
little alice in wonderland
after 2 solid years cursed at 111 lbs this seems miraculous.. :)

on the subject of muchness & madness, i am somewhat of a hypergraphic journaler & now have more than 30 years of my life recorded..

this started when the freudian psychologist i was seeing suggested it, & it has been a helpful tool in managing my sanity ever since..

although like this ghostblog, much of it is like talking to myself..

my mom also wrote in what she called diaries, & i have a trunkfull of them archived for safekeeping along with my own..

like our old home movies, they can also act as a time machine..

reading back through them can feel dangerous at times though..

often filled with drawings..

song lyrics..

& of course stickers, usually my own home printed ones..

charting all my classic migraines..

& fun auras..

food/health logs..

gaming, parenting, marriage..

all my struggles..

halloween..

retro nostalgia..

my sad ghost life..

& toxic..

moons & stars..

entries like the diabolical ding-dong caper still crack me & dan up to this very day..

kitties & fun..

& all my little friends..

occasional rants..

do you write in a diary or journal too? let me know in the comments where i'll continue my fascinating observations through spider season..

meanwhile the guys helped film this youtube montage of my farewell to fallout 76..

p.s. here comes the crow moon & the murder of crows in the tall trees outside my room are indeed loudly proclaiming the end of winter.. 

bren

Comments

[ghost]

#migraine #infj #cats #kitty #rowsofneveropeneddoors #health

talk about migraines.. yikes i should name this one like i use to, like hurricanes.. hmm.. migraine muchness! :( it's that big full crow moon.

little alice decimated boopy's old house, it was just like when the tornado hit dorothy's house! i could almost hear the wicked witch music :O
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/little_alice_in_wonderlan/boopy-house-devastation.html
what happened was just this
the wind began to switch
the house, to pitch
& suddenly the hinges started to unhitch,
just then the witch, to satisfy an itch went flying on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch..
& oh what happened then was rich
the house began to pitch, the kitchen took a slitch..
(watch out, margaret hamilton!)

[ghost]

#art #innerchild #cat #kitty #eldenring #rpg #retro #moon #ghostgallery #nostalgia #rowsofneveropeneddoors #midlake

while i enjoy listening to the new midlake cd (bethel woods) i've been drawing some of my own original doodle art pages in an art journal for toxic (pix eventually) & rearranging wall art & toy shelves now that alice has conquered the highest plush toy shelf & destroyed the boopy house..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/little_alice_in_wonderlan/we-miss-boopy.html

she's very sweet, but prone to outbursts of insanity when she becomes like the beast of caerbannog! https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/mindless_art/mindlessart66.html

so here was the dark clouds moon in the last moments of winter..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/dark-clouds-moon.html

& this was fun https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/jim-rockford-pd-copy.html (2 pix) <3

ok here we go.. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/bren-snowmoon-elden-ring-astrologer.html

commune

i've been away now far too long
lost & alone with no communion
with no one
gone are the days of want & need
brought all along by the prince of peace
with us be
break bread with them all
make time to recall
the ones who came before..

p.s. i found this humorous.. http://www.brensgumbyland.com/images/humerus.jpg

[ghost]

#ghostgallery #art #paintings #rowsofneveropeneddoors #cats #toys #infj #music #midlake

important readjustments..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/toy-shelf.html

& new playhouses for alice :D
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/little_alice_in_wonderlan/alice-beast-of-caerbannog-high-toy-shelf-conquered.html

i love the new midlake album <3

some lyrics of the day:

i could get rid of it all for the sake
of the bethel woods
to a time & a place
where peacefulness once stood
gather the women & children
leave our homes & our buildings
i've been ready for years now
planted my seeds in the ground
i will get rid of it all for the sake
of the bethel woods
a love of another without strings
as it should
gather your courage & pillars
leave what's become familiar
i've been ready for years now
planted my seeds in the ground
i'll go ahead of thee
meet me in time to be
down the road
i did get rid of it all
for the sake of the bethel woods
where neither moth nor the rust
doth corrupt as it would
let's get out of town
without a sound
the wanted found
no want abounds
i'll go ahead of thee
meet me in time to be
whether the winter's cold
every turn of the seasons told
in the joys & in the woes
follow along the path
when will it lead us back
down the road
i'll go ahead of thee
meet me in time to be
whether the winter's cold
every turn of the seasons told
in the joys & in the woes
follow along the path
when will it lead us back
down the road..

p.s. toxic is so happy to have our escape painting now up in our room, we think it's like a strange mirror, from our little corner of the room 50 years ago to now in this room, like foreshadowing.. <3
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/memoirs_of_a_vampire_butt/foreshadowing.html

[ghost]

#migraine #infj #psychology #mentalhealth #depression #agoraphobia #ghostgallery #ocd #rowsofneveropeneddoors #art #innerchild #cats

so the other day i had alice curled up in my arms as i sat down at the head of my bed & i stupidly bumped my head on the picture frame behind me,
which led to of course,
another headache.
but not before reminding me how alone i am as always. & the dark humor did not elude me that the hughes print over my bed for the last 25 years that i mentioned here once, that i found so comforting & safe, is of the angel of death. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/snowballinhell/2021/03/vault-forever-surface-never.html?cid=6a00d834525fe869e20263e9a0ba7b200b#comment-6a00d834525fe869e20263e9a0ba7b200b

it was then that the depression set in.
http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerylosttransmissionsalbum.html (sound up)

i thank god for my lifelong protector dissociation. http://www.brensgumbyland.com/my_beautiful_nightmare3.htm

our snowcave.. http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerysnowcave.html

our lunar crater.. http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryhidingplaces.html

& in the night i've thought too much about an old friend i thought i'd left behind many years ago. http://www.brensgumbyland.com/my_friends_details.htm

& it seems typepad is once again trying to turn my links here in the comments appropriately silent.
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/memoirs_of_a_vampire_butt/

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerymagiccabinet.html

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/x/frozen-charlotte.html

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryhibernaculum.html

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryclosetskeleton.html
etc etc..

ps https://www.freetheocean.com/journal/microplastics-discovered-in-human-blood-for-the-first-time/

[ghost]

#vintage #lostandfoundtoys #dolls #toys #innerchild #sad #ghost #music #birds #portland

there's a robin now nesting under our patio deck where we can observe her out our downstairs window, we're closing the blinds in mr dad's office window there to avoid scaring her off her nest, but we'll try to keep tabs on her carefully. it was a cold, stormy windy rainy night & she made it through that, & now we don't have wild kitties regularly using our winter shelters so hopefully they'll do ok.
so i had to comment over at colin meloy's linktree site where i've subscribed, he did a lovely tutorial on how to play the lake song, i mentioned it made me feel like i should pull my poor neglected guitar outta the closet.. someone there encouraged me to do it.. but honestly that song now is just too much about my sister cathy, i used it up at my album for her here ~ clic http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryclic.html (sound up) & it makes me a wreck. (she'd be able to play it on her acoustic guitar beautifully though ;)
also this is the #1 item on my lost & found wishlist nowadays ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRhJ3LMd5ek
a few years back there was one at our local pdx estates sales but i was sick, mr dad went & tried to get it for me but some lady beat him to it by seconds.. :(

so my days & nights just sorta seem to blend together, but i'm still hanging in there, i have an idea for an abstract painting & dollscape project i think i'll start on if i can.

milkweed seeds are in my planter to hopefully help summer butterflies.. <3

[ghost]

#powerout #stress #fun #infj yesterday when i commented here little did i know we were about to embark on yet another of our Adventures in Stress! as yesterday's storm turned to hail & high winds our power suddenly went out! & of course we had just stocked up our fridge/freezer with cold goods over the weekend so we got to put our generator to the test! i have to say i am so glad i made the decision to get one, it passed the test just fine, kept the fridge running & our groceries, not cheap these days, perfectly fine, mr dad was also able to plug his phone into it to charge it up. we had no power for 6 hours, it was a test for us, our handcrank lamp worked well, we played with alice until it was too dark to tire her out all we could, then curled up in the dark with her to all stay warm.. raven lost a game capture, & yeah it was stressful, but we got through it & know what to do now when this happens again..
& the robin is there on her nest safe & sound this morning <3

[Sally]

Glad you all made it through the stress of the storm and power outage with your generator, Bren (and glad your robin and her nest made it through being outdoors in the worst of it...poor thing!)

[ghost]

so my favorite character in elden ring is fia the deathbed companion, she gives hugs & talks about secret things..
also as in elden ring at times it feels like my madness gauge is getting full irl.. but i'm in the dover book club & tomorrow i should receive my dover book box just in time to pull me back from the brink & hopefully put me in my happy place..?
thanks sally, the robin is doing fine, skies go from heavy wind & rain & looking dark & ominous to bright sunshine, what i call rainbow weather, but she's well protected up under our back deck at least <3
hoping our power doesn't go out again with all this wind though..
& there's even a possibility of snow on sunday, which would actually be wonderful <3 pretty please?
we invested in a nice huge cooler/ice chest to keep downstairs in case power outage were to outlast our generator capabilities, just for peace of mind..

i love the new song thom sings as part of the new band 'the smile' it's called pana-vision, i've tried to buy it, but the album isn't out yet, we're just supposed to wait.
:( stanley donwood's artwork on the video is very haunting as well..
i want to use this music along with my latest project toxic & i are working on (muchness/dREaMstorm ~ a dollscape of sorts)
the a of e's looking very classy now with all the glass doors installed, hopefully alice will not try to launch into them..?
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/robin.html

ps entered another emily giveaway on insta, we're sure to win this time.

pps yeah ok so i did succumb to boredshopping anyway because i'm watching my sanity crumble away before me, but mr dad's out picking out his new bbq grill & i'm stuck forever at home so i'll get over it. besides it was kitty pjs & wizard of oz madlibs, a cheshire cat matchbox car & tenniel mini notebooks, you know, essentials! ;)

[ghost]

#infj #pdx #portland #snow #cats #kitty #ghostgallery #art #rowsofneveropeneddoors

never underestimate the power of pretty please.. woke up to this lovely surprise spring snow right alongside the cherry blossoms! this never happens in april here.. until now <3

https://youtu.be/RHsBuAWhC0A

https://youtu.be/DOy4b1u1t_Q

what a perfect day to work on our muchness project..

later.. i posted more up at my insta page here https://www.instagram.com/ghostatthegate/
but it's still just Pouring snow!!

ps yeah we lost Again.

https://youtu.be/yEQQk8x23R8