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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« winter welcome | Main | 2022 »

December 27, 2021


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:D Love the sound you added, Bren! :D And the retro xmas in vault 11. I'm so glad that you and your family got little Alice and she looks so happy in her new home. =) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3


yeah that song cracks me up every time, the perfect accompaniment to our strange abstractions albums.. an explanation seems in order here? our family have always played every kind of game, cards, scrabble, boardgames, madlibs etc, but our favorite we just call 'the drawing game' :o
pens, paper & some old magazines are all that's required, one person finds a picture & without revealing what it is directs the others how to draw it, no questions are allowed & the reveal at the end is usually hilarious! & results in our fun abstractions.. :)
i love vault 11.
alice is still just a tiny bean, but one day she will be queen alice, queen of the whole house (like our queen sabrina once was, we called her the queenbean & we were all just her worker beans!)
she's so much like her.. now we just need to find a fluffyhead tabby girl for her to romp around with..


Your game sounds like so much fun! :D And I hope you find your little fluffyhead tabby girl soon! Little Alice is so cute and I know how much joy kitties can bring into one's life. I'm happy for you and her both! <3


Hey Bren, I know today is a hard day for you and I wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you. You, your sister and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you! <3


sally, thank you so much, & i hope you are now getting some good restorative sleep? we've had snow still off & on:
& i just photo'd the sweetest hummingbird trying to keep warm in the snowfall :)
alice loves watching the snow <3
i'm afraid to hope for a better 2022, because i've done that for the last 5 years, you know?
i escaped into f76 for a Long playthrough yesterday & built a secret retro diner inside.. lol i'll have to get some photos of it..
wanted to let you know our camera came :) but something to note, it was like $150 more because the japanese one is an import model (import taxes!) so we got an american made version (pricier) i'll let you know how it goes too..
it got here fast! take care, sally & feel free to comment here anytime you want too, if you want to talk about more serious (non-toy) matters you know?
happy new year! (hoping??)


Wow! You DID get a lot of snow. Poor little hummer! Love the photos! And so happy Alice is bringing you so much love and happiness,... a great way to start the year. Your camera did come quick! I did not think about import taxes! I'm glad you got it already and that will be a fun toy for you and Mr. Dad to play with! I was hoping to start the year off at the ocean, but I didn't have the strength to make the drive and I know I wouldn't have been able to walk down the beach. Hoping maybe by the end of the month if it's not raining. I have my mom's apt. to deal with, then mine and storage units....Always something....Never enough energy unfortunately....This new year with the pandemic has me feeling more disillusioned than last new year. Hoping for a better year though for sure!


we get so many hummingbirds here in winter, i think we must be 'south' for some of them from alaska & canada? he was just fine, he waited out that snowfall & went along his way, in fact he looks just like the kind i photo'd earlier in my backyard bird album in springtime :)
it's still freezing cold here, but rain melted the snow away for a bit & i'm hearing creatures romping across my bedroom roof, alice discovered squirrels out my bedroom frenchdoor windows! :O it was cool to see haystack rock (at the coast) all covered in snow, hardly ever happens, but i'm not up for a drive to the coast either just yet..
hey sally, i just realized looking at one of your links, you also have a sister named elaine? that's my mom's name too <3


Sorry I missed your last comment here, Bren! Yes, that's cool that your mom is named Elaine and I have a sister named Elaine. Also that my mom and another sister share the same name as Little Alice. =) <3 Both Elaine and Alice are not very common names. =) Just fed my little hummers here at my apt. after giving the hummers at my mom's food earlier too today. There are strangers migrating through, so the locals have been fighting them off and they've been going though more food lately. =)

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cat girl

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lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
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a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
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friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
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