My Photo
a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« another monday | Main | held by sleep »

November 20, 2021


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.


#ghostgallery #radiohead #kidamnesia #ocd #rowsofneveropeneddoors #art #thanksgiving #f76 #gaming

i got myself lost in radiohead's kidamnesia exhibition on the ps5 the other day & ended up creating a new toy for my ghost closet, shamelessly radiohead inspired, i think dr tchock would be pleased? got a little blood on him jabbing myself with the needle but that seems appropriate.. (sound up)
so i've been getting killed quite alot in f76 as i continue searching for the perfect forest campsite, hoping this my third choice will keep us safe for awhile..?

& now my pumpkin pie has baked and been thoroughly tested ;)
tomorrow's a busy day, i am very thankful for my cool life, despite all my struggles..


#rowsofneveropeneddoors #ghostgallery #radiohead #gaming #f76 #art #dollscape #kidamnesia #stickers #vintage #music

i'm making my own stickers today for my new/unused journals, mostly radiohead screenshots i took from my kidamnesia playthroughs, because that's what responsible 50 something ladies do instead of catching up on boring housework, right?
i posted all about it at the lost & found blog here:
i'm doing better in f76, finally have a camp i hope will work out (4th time's a charm?) enemies abound though..
i met a grey kitty, she sits meowing & looking out the window of her abandoned house waiting for her people to come back, but they're all dead or turned, i wish she'd come home with me?
why isn't it like in f4? she'd be welcome in my safe kitty sanctuary..
looks like perfect weather to take a november drive through the gorge to photo some trees.. :)
time for xmas music in the house :D


#infj #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #nature #november #autumn #winter #trees #moon #mentalhealth #depression #ocd #agoraphobia #photography

ended up with a migraine & never took that drive afterall.. also my ocd has become really serious, i can see why in the distant past i used certain unhealthy habits to keep my mind from obsessing over everything, now i just have to try to 'not think' & kinda purposely cloud my own awareness.. :/
but my new november blue album is up at my nature albums page here anyway:
(sound up)
..along with the start of my winter album :) hope we get snow soon?
we're setting up a different sort of tree this year.. will update when i have a pic :)
oh, & i'm doing much better now in f76:


#christmas #xmas #kitties #cats #infj #f76 #fallout76 #ocd #lostandfoundtoys #therapycat #gaming

here's that pic i mentioned: (also click through the pix for our hanging of the missiletoad)

& i'm feeling a little bit more secure now, because.. well, i call it VAULT 11:

also, we just turned in our application to adopt a sweet little kitty girl locally, any good thoughts for us are appreciated ;)

Verify your Comment

Previewing your Comment

This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.

Your comment could not be posted. Error type:
Your comment has been posted. Post another comment

The letters and numbers you entered did not match the image. Please try again.

As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.

Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.


Post a comment

Your Information

(Name and email address are required. Email address will not be displayed with the comment.)

cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

October 2023

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30 31        


  • statcounter
Blog powered by Typepad
Member since 04/2006