another monday

good morning..

yeah sure.

so as i recover from my latest migraine i've decided i need further escape from my now traumatized ocd infj nervous system, & what better place than in the post-apocalyptic wasteland after the nuclear war & 'end of the world'..? yes, this is where i will venture once again, it has been years since i last lived there, back in fallout 4 i converted an old drive-in theater into my home compound & made it a kitty sanctuary, surrounded by walls & defenses to keep all my tabbies safe & happy, & i even set up the lost & found toy shop in an old pharmacy building in the commonwealth wasteland..
happy times..

fallout friday

in my old ghost closet post from last year i can even be seen wearing my old fallout t-shirt here:

vault forever surface never

well, this time i'm headed into fallout76, into my own private world, alone, my sweet boopy who use to always be right by my side there will i'm sure be with me in spirit ;) yep, this time i'm known as bren, mother of cats..

fallout76

i am older, perhaps more pitiable, but my character still resembles american mcgee's alice from the original pc game & madness returns, as well as miss ives, my chosen persona from penny dreadful, that i've used numerous times over the years to attend twitter #disasterdinnerparty events, usually from my own padded cell in a comfy straightjacket.. i forever relate to miss ives, especially in the penny dreadful season 3 premiere episode 'tennyson has died'..

i am heading out of the vault as rations are gone, we are each on our own now..

if i survive i will update in the comments as always..

bren

p.s. after a few emergency sessions with my old therapist from socal via zoom, i've been trying to take care of myself mentally & physically best i can despite ongoing difficulty eating.. at my last zoom dr's appt my primary care dr told me when you find a good therapist like that you keep them in your back pocket & pull them out when you really need them.. lol. i'm doing just that, it helps just knowing she's there available to talk to if i need her :) - thanks licia

Comments

[ghost]

#winter #ghostgallery #dollscape #mentalhealth #infj #ocd #rowsofneveropeneddoors #fallout76 #ravenmoonx #gaming #toys #ghost #vampire #goth

finally finally the last of our recarpeting jobs is done, raven's room, after one last delay, after all the delays & no shows..
it will be so nice to stop having strangers in our house & just settle in & enjoy winter :)
so if i survive these weird years it will be 2021 that i think of as the year that turned me into a full howard hughes level ocd person..
it has changed me. i hope i get better? but for now i've brought home an appropriate new toy:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2021/11/mysterious-ocd-bunny.html

& after a small nervous exhaustion collapse on saturday:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/memoirs_of_a_vampire_butt/were-all-mad-here.html
i did rally & at least venture out trick or treating in the post-apocalyptic wasteland:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/bren-f76-clown.html
unfortunately i didn't have a costume, so i couldn't pluck an eyeball from the candy bowl, but that's ok, at least i didn't miss halloween..
also after being killed many times (i'm kind of a weenie still at this early level) i've been able to kill off my latest attackers,
& just look what i came across:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/f76-powersuit.html
i need one of these in real life!

i've also started a new dollscape album for my sad lisa doll that i created for halloween:
http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerysadlisa.html
it's only just started, as i have ideas for shots i'd like to include over the winter.. (sound up)
ok so it's a tearjerker.
so, i'm perpetually at 111 lbs, my old ocd weight preference, which seems like cruel karma to me..
ibs-c can be debilitating. i live on vanilla ice-cream, cream of chicken noodle soup & decaf & english muffins basically..
a few bites at a time..
or i feel like i can't breathe.
we've also been enjoying watching raven's playthrough of resident evil village on his youtube gaming channel,
come on over if you're into gaming, & please subscribe if you can, every viewer helps.
https://www.youtube.com/user/RavenMoonX

well, it is nice & cold here..
welcome winter.

ps: https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2021/11/radiohead-complete.html

[ghost]

#infj #ocd #mentalhealth #ghostgallery #fallout76 #rowsofneveropeneddoors #radiohead #kidamnesia #toys #lostandfoundtoys #ravenmoonx
#vampire #portland

it has been very rainy here in portland, it gets dark as night in my cozy vampire suite in the middle of the day so i can escape into elderscrolls online or fallout76 & feel a nice timelessness, with the new radiohead kid a mnesia tracks playing at night, it's as close to security, hopefulness & happiness as i've felt for awhile..
i'm afraid the east winds were too much for our backyard willow tree, we saved it once, tipped it up & braced it & it did well for several more years, but now it blew over & we've had to let it go.. :(
it gave our backyard wild kitties nice shade in the summertime, but our ferals have been gone now for over a year? ever since bingo vanished after 10 years in our backyard, the boy kitties didn't care to hang around anymore, they all loved her. we're leaving a winter shelter out there though for the winter, just in case anyone needs it.
so all the recarpeting/repairs are over & i've even finished setting back up my altar of eclectica:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/altar-of-eclectica-redo-2021.html
besides the art & poetry/literature, psych, wonderland & horror shelves, tolkien & nbx, there's now a dedicated vintage halloween shelf & several for cat books & kitty pix <3
mr dad's on vacation & we're starting to watch raven's death stranding playthrough next.. https://www.youtube.com/user/RavenMoonX
(check him out on youtube, he's really good!)
again he amazingly used his connections to snag us a series x! just like the ps5 last year, so we're stocked up & future ready gaming-wise..
& now i just need to be healthy & well enough to take care of 3 new little kittens! we will each choose one to adopt all together soon..
this year has been one of the hardest in my life, for sure..
been penning my memoirs here:
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/memoirs_of_a_vampire_butt/
hope we get snow :)