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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« down the rabbithole | Main | winter welcome »

October 25, 2021


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#winter #ghostgallery #dollscape #mentalhealth #infj #ocd #rowsofneveropeneddoors #fallout76 #ravenmoonx #gaming #toys #ghost #vampire #goth

finally finally the last of our recarpeting jobs is done, raven's room, after one last delay, after all the delays & no shows..
it will be so nice to stop having strangers in our house & just settle in & enjoy winter :)
so if i survive these weird years it will be 2021 that i think of as the year that turned me into a full howard hughes level ocd person..
it has changed me. i hope i get better? but for now i've brought home an appropriate new toy:

& after a small nervous exhaustion collapse on saturday:
i did rally & at least venture out trick or treating in the post-apocalyptic wasteland:
unfortunately i didn't have a costume, so i couldn't pluck an eyeball from the candy bowl, but that's ok, at least i didn't miss halloween..
also after being killed many times (i'm kind of a weenie still at this early level) i've been able to kill off my latest attackers,
& just look what i came across:
i need one of these in real life!

i've also started a new dollscape album for my sad lisa doll that i created for halloween:
it's only just started, as i have ideas for shots i'd like to include over the winter.. (sound up)
ok so it's a tearjerker.
so, i'm perpetually at 111 lbs, my old ocd weight preference, which seems like cruel karma to me..
ibs-c can be debilitating. i live on vanilla ice-cream, cream of chicken noodle soup & decaf & english muffins basically..
a few bites at a time..
or i feel like i can't breathe.
we've also been enjoying watching raven's playthrough of resident evil village on his youtube gaming channel,
come on over if you're into gaming, & please subscribe if you can, every viewer helps.

well, it is nice & cold here..
welcome winter.



#infj #ocd #mentalhealth #ghostgallery #fallout76 #rowsofneveropeneddoors #radiohead #kidamnesia #toys #lostandfoundtoys #ravenmoonx
#vampire #portland

it has been very rainy here in portland, it gets dark as night in my cozy vampire suite in the middle of the day so i can escape into elderscrolls online or fallout76 & feel a nice timelessness, with the new radiohead kid a mnesia tracks playing at night, it's as close to security, hopefulness & happiness as i've felt for awhile..
i'm afraid the east winds were too much for our backyard willow tree, we saved it once, tipped it up & braced it & it did well for several more years, but now it blew over & we've had to let it go.. :(
it gave our backyard wild kitties nice shade in the summertime, but our ferals have been gone now for over a year? ever since bingo vanished after 10 years in our backyard, the boy kitties didn't care to hang around anymore, they all loved her. we're leaving a winter shelter out there though for the winter, just in case anyone needs it.
so all the recarpeting/repairs are over & i've even finished setting back up my altar of eclectica:
besides the art & poetry/literature, psych, wonderland & horror shelves, tolkien & nbx, there's now a dedicated vintage halloween shelf & several for cat books & kitty pix <3
mr dad's on vacation & we're starting to watch raven's death stranding playthrough next..
(check him out on youtube, he's really good!)
again he amazingly used his connections to snag us a series x! just like the ps5 last year, so we're stocked up & future ready gaming-wise..
& now i just need to be healthy & well enough to take care of 3 new little kittens! we will each choose one to adopt all together soon..
this year has been one of the hardest in my life, for sure..
been penning my memoirs here:
hope we get snow :)

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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