freeze warning

i think the screaming wind said my name
significance found in rocks
then the mountain slowly blowing
and the river
lost wisdom returns
and the sound of the river sighing
here's your home
under the ashes waking up
and the blue dusk slowly revealing
seeing the moon in the middle of the day
the gleaming stone
cuts streams i've been living, sleeping
now the whole world is flaming
or is it clouds rising through the trees
on the ridge?
i know the world is a flaming house
and what i hold
i will be grieving
and lost wisdom returns
watching dust dancing
living a long life growing towards form
the wind is persistently fleeting
and the song that cuts through the fog sometimes
is lost in rainy evenings
wrapped in fog
in the depths of the house
i followed a sound further in
and i saw you..

the screaming wind said my name..

we're under a freeze warning.
and just like that the cold returns
and i can sleep.
i'm the sort of creature that loves to hibernate
just cover me with leaves..

but with sleep comes nightmares
this time i was very sick, riding somewhere in the car with my husband
our old vw bug from ages ago, with my window wide open..
when suddenly i was sucked outside by the wind
and was hanging onto the edge of the door
by my fingers just barely
he didn't notice for a long time
and even then he didn't stop the car
to let me back in..

nightmare (sound up to hear the essential music along with the art)

when the terrors became too much for me
i made a decision and reached out
to an old friend to talk to..
just doing that has made all the difference
even so, i'm feeling like a ghost and retreating..

continuing in the comments..

(lyrics from lost wisdom part 2 by mount eerie)

Comments

[ghost]

sweet lilah.. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/eso-lilah.html

[ghost]

our last house.. #infj #blog #minis #vampire #goth #rowsofneveropeneddoors #halloween #ghostgallery #art

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerysunsethouse.html

halloween blue moon.. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/halloween-blue-moon-2020.html

[ghost]

#infj #psychology #therapy #rowsofneveropeneddoors #ghostgallery #painter #depression #mentalhealth
it's freezing outside. so after more terrors & getting down to 116
i've been trying out some guided imagery to help calm my frazzled nerves, if you're having trouble going to sleep i highly recommend checking out this site:
https://www.healthjourneys.com/
(the belleruth naperstek audio library)
i started out listening to the stress/relaxation mp3
even just the short sample calmed me.
the nice words, the nice safe voice & words..
although soon tears were streaming down my face & neck..
(is this just me?)
i've been listening to the stress & sleep ones now regularly,
a safe space? who knew there could be such a place.
i've had to modify my visualization away from my old cold safe snowcave to my own room & bed, feeling my little cherubs all around me like it use to be..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/the_kitties/good-morning-babies.html

i realized i've been creating my own kind of guided imagery up at my ghost gallery, painting out all my terrors & visions.. with carefully selected music, apparently thom yorke is my muse?

not sure why i'm still getting these dark terrors?
you know how most people dislike their middle names?
my toxic inner child was misnamed.
brenda joy. lol.
i mean i am still capable of experiencing joy, but the name is ill-suited to me. my porn name perhaps, had i been so inclined?
but no, my parents should've called me brenda existential dread carter.

i do feel like painting something today..

[ghost]

did a little painting yesterday..

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryfriday13.html

find this down at the bottom of the rowsofneveropeneddoors at the ghost gallery at gumbyland if the music doesn't play here..

[ghost]

#infj #innerchild #dollscape #toys #vintage #arttherapy #doll #kitty #childhood #girls

hey, it's almost christmas..

here's that slumber party i promised here once: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerygirlskickass.html (sound up)

[ghost]

happy new year! #2021 #happynewyear #ny #fuck2020 #eso #happy #dance #elderscrollsonline #blogger

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/eso-bren-dance.html (pix)