quarantine

spring in the time of coronavirus.

blindspots in my vision persist, & of course everything i do relies on vision.
i am an escape artist.
mr dad's company issued everyone a paycut.
& my son lost his health coverage during our xmas unemployment trauma..
i'm always kinda terrified in this life anyway
but now i get these terrors
just like i did on election night.
i can barely eat anything anymore
& crying just makes me choke.
once upon a time alcohol made me fearless
but it's cardiac poison to me now.
i think of this
& other things i probably shouldn't..
but today my new radiohead library tshirt arrived & made me happy.

the end of winter:

we're good at staying in.
toxic has been painting on her rainy day time machine project while me & mr dad put together our final mini house..

sunset house by the sea:

speaking of quarantines ~

ghostgallery quarantine with music:

lyrics of the day ~

songs to aging children come
aging children
i am one
some come dark & strange
like dying
crows & ravens whistling
lines of weeping
strings of crying
so much said in listening..

~ joni mitchell

comments to follow..

bren/ghost

Comments

[ghost]

#quarantine #infj #stayinside #coronavirus #covid19 #art #minis #innerchild #cats

the sun came out & we have beautiful clouds & brilliant blue sky with cherry blossom petals falling..
would've been a nice day to get a little much needed nature therapy & hike one of our local trails, but we won't take the risk..

so toxic made her own stickers for our latest inner child project while mr dad made progress putting together our latest mini, it's starting to look like an actual house..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/sunset-house-by-the-sea-midway.html

i can feel that super pink moon arriving already, it starts with migraines in the night..
but nick drake would appreciate it..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/pink-supermoon-2020.html

i miss my kitties.
hug your kitties if you have them..

[ghost]

oh my god my mom just died. felt ill yesterday, put on ventilator, her heart stopped 6 times.. now she's gone.

[ghost]

#infj #migraine #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #psychology #psychotherapy #innerchild #art #arttherapy

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/.a/6a00d834525fe869e20240a51f5e84200b-pi

[ghost]

#infj #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #inmemory #coronavirus #radiohead #zombiebunny

last night i was asked to write a short obituary about my mom.. there won't be a service due to the pandemic.
(link to follow..)

meanwhile ~
http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerylosttransmissionsalbum.html (sound up)

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/patchy.html

[ghost]

#infj #naturetherapy #oregon #columbiarivergorge #quarantine #nature #photography #forest #treelover #stayinside

the gorge & the beaches are closed, so i'm taking my much needed nature therapy from my own nature albums.. join me along some of our favorite trails here in wonderland.. (sound up, you won't want to miss the music here i promise..)

into the forest: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryintotheforestalbum.html

autumn notebook: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryautumnnotebookalbum.html

trails to the sea: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerytrailstotheseaalbum.html

octoberland: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryoctoberlandalbum.html

wilderness: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgallerywildernessalbum.html

autumn mix: http://www.brensgumbyland.com/ghostgalleryautumnmixalbum.html

more here:
http://brensgumbyland.com/my%20photo%20album.html

[ghost]

#infj #stayinside #rowsofneveropeneddoors #ghostgallery #innerchild #lostandfoundtoys #art #poems #migraine

https://www.legacy.com/funeral-homes/obituaries/name/jacqueline-hunt-carter-obituary?pid=196089094&v=batesville

my mom set this aside for me in her cedar chest of treasures, & my sister caren just sent it to me ~
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/lost_found_vintage_toys/2020/05/when-i-imagine.html

woke up with migraine, hello mother's supermoon :(
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/things_behind_the_sun/spinal-fracture.html

ps ~ https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/climbing-up-the-walls.html

[ghost]

#migraine #infj #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #cats #toxic #innerchild #quarantine

MIGRAINE.
(note i pulled out the capitol letters for this one.)

something i wrote in a support forum post a long time ago ~
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/things_behind_the_sun/tabby.html

..
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/friendlyghoststuff/eso-vampire-x.html

[ghost]

#infj #eso #vampire #stayinside #lostandfoundtoys #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #quarantine #recluse
i've been getting alot done while we're in lockdown, in fact i may just never leave the house again.
we bought some washable masks online, but they're so small they don't work for mr dad with his beard, & i couldn't even breathe through the damn things..
whatever, i'll stick with my kerchief
(see pic top of post)
you know i shot a man in reno just to watch him die..

so yesterday was kinda pitiful & plunged me into depression & retreat. i have such trouble eating & taking vitamins due to my interesting gi tract & lifelong problems with my sad insides.
but i've been trying to get as many kids chewable immunity support multivitamins in me that i can. they changed them recently to remove artificial colors & sweeteners.
i tried one yesterday. because you know i'm just fine about ingesting new things. ..
well it tasted horrendous like i'd ingested some kind of science experiment & i soon felt sick to my stomach, ended up throwing up acid reflux & messaging my dr.
went to the product website & found i'm not alone, all terrible reviews with angry people talking about class action lawsuits & inadequate warnings.
really fucked up my day into the night.. but i still live.
got into a bit of an argument with mr dad because we get along as long as everything's peachy, but once there's anything wrong with me i'm up against his a.d.d. issues, which are anything but helpful.
we apologized & made up, but not until long after i'd retreated to my room & dissociated into a kind of frozen charlotte.
i blocked the windows & made it nice & dark & locked the door, & after awhile i realized how comforting that was.
so i'm retreating from the world & staying in my room now.
i just need a tv in here & good internet so i can get lost in eso/greymoor.
i'm never coming back.
i miss my kitties.

https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/.a/6a00d834525fe869e20263ec1b1a9f200c-pi
https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/toyroom-quarantine-x.html

later.. https://friendlyghost.typepad.com/photos/around_the_bend/masks-by-bren.html

[ghost]

narrowly avoided a trip to the er last night with a freak electrolyte issue. i'm backed into a corner now phobically unable to eat almost anything except vanilla icecream & soup. i love my guys, they stayed right by me through the whole nightmare. i'm supposed to have a zoom appt w/ my dr on friday. i need help but am terrified of drs.