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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« come hell | Main | darkwinter »

October 31, 2019


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#ESO #ElderScrollsOnline #infj #painter #rpg #gaming #gamergirl #ghostgallery
this is where i'm painting these days:

i'm sure you already knew that i'm a daedric lord slayer?:

my new home:


#infj #snowcave #ghost #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #radiohead #hibernation #dissociation


#infj #ESO #innerchild #snowcave #winter #hibernation #escapeart #elderscrollsonline

eso is definitely my new drug of choice.. i've felt kinda crippled & have this new thousand mile stare..

& frogs.

p.s. i need therapy cats.


it's freezing here.. #infj #winter #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #kittyless #ghost #xmas

i miss my kittygirls.. (sound up)


#infj #xmas #winter #unemployment #corporategreed #insecurity #scrooge #thegrinchwhostolexmas

so the big company that took over the local one that mr dad worked for just found a reason to fire him. fuck you & merry xmas? i knew i hated this giant company.
& we're left without even a working car.
he was driving a company truck & we'd just saved up a down payment for a used car.. but now may not be able to finance the rest unemployed..?
going into winter.
don't know how to get groceries.. uber?
terrified now.


#migraine #aura #infj #winter #ghostgallery #stress #rowsofneveropeneddoors

starting a new dollscape for xmas called lost toys..

things behind the sun journal:


#infj #migraine #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #stress #xmas
#thegrinchwhostolexmas #toys

dealing with another in a series of migraines that started last comment here, apparently stress induced migraine with aura.. this time i think i slept through the aura but am just dealing with the left temple pain & weird visual issues, sitting here in the dark due to light supersensitivity..

the roller coaster ride continues after my husband was let go from the big corporation that took over, now his unemployment benefits have been held up pending investigation of his firing, so this is terrifying all over again.. we got our little blue pt cruiser up & running again with a rebuilt engine, but we have bills.. .. ....

i've just completed a major toy reorganization as i consider items i might sell, & as i search for the little antique bear i want to use in my xmas dollscape, lost toys..
ironically i put him away in a very safe place & have not been able to find him..


#darkwinter #depression #infj #snow #rowsofneveropeneddoors #ghostgallery #art #ESO #winter

gotta say i am just trying to deal with depression at the moment.. i'm hamstering currently.. mr dad just got back from chicago, a meet & greet with his new employer, thankfully, & he is now working from home :) he's all set up with his new office downstairs & we're all just hoping this works out..
we've had snow here & there, not enough to photo my lost toys dollscape yet, but at least i found my little birthday bear..
in eso i've joined the dark brotherhood (again) (..i've always listened to the night mother..) & i recently reached the peak of sorrow, but i'm sure you already knew that..


magic cabinet #infj #art #ghostgallery #rowsofneveropeneddoors #psychology #depression #lyrics #poetry

my yoke is heavy.. (sound up)

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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