snowball in hell: blood moon

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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
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these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

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XXX..............RIP..............XXX here lies the psychconnection archive.. click here to peruse the remains (what's left after many members' posts were removed) of our dead support forum in the deepfreeze of this cybermorgue..
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WARNING! this site contains graphic language and subject matter related to self injury...
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ghost gamelinks..

ghost's top eleven rpg's:
#1 ~ down the rabbit hole... "here's a riddle.. when is a croquet mallet like a billy club? ..i'll tell you... whenever you want it to be..." cheshire cat to alice (american mcgee's alice: the original) this game is my favorite above all others...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you thank you mr mcgee for alice madness returns!!! (with the original i still rate these the best!)
#2 is primal, especially the wraith world where i felt right at home.. what a relief to play a strong female for a change, and with scree the gargoyle at my side... loved this game and want more!!!
#3 is fable/fable:lost chapters/fable 2.. get lost in this incredible world and determine your own fate... good or evil.. or somewhere in between... fable 3 is out!!!
#4 city of lost children.. based on the french movie of the same name.. you are miette, an orphan, use your thieving and sneaking skills to free the childrens' souls from the evil inventor who is stealing their dreams...
tied at #4 the kingdom hearts games (2).. disney meets final fantasy! play in disney worlds alongside jack skellington in halloweentown, jack sparrow in the caribbean or alice at the mad tea party..
#5 is van helsing.. if you liked the movie, play this gothic masterpiece and face werewolves, the frankenstein monster, mr hyde and count dracula himself...
#6 are all of the lord of the rings games, which are all worth mastering, including the hobbit game.. (watch out for the spiders!)
& the old classic snes lord of the rings.. (another good old favorite.. i spent forever lost in the barrow downs...)
#7 are all the ultima games.. my favorites were 'quest of the avatar' and 'the false prophet'.. but if you like the classics try out 'black gate' and 'exodus' and the other oldies..
#8 is the original nes game shadowgate.. the one that turned me into an rpg junkie in the first place all those years ago.. hunched over my controller in the dark in my camper in the middle of the night.. still a classic...
#9 is final fantasy, but i'm an old time gamer, so i mean the original final fantasy games on nes/snes like 1, 2, 3 + mystic quest.. still the best even without the graphics of the newer games...
#10 is lemony snickett's series of unfortunate events.. ok, so this game is not terribly hard..
(i was able to complete it even while fairly intoxicated..) it is still creative and fun if you enjoyed the movie, which i did...
i needed a #11 on my list for all the honorable mentions.. unforgettable games like wizardry, king arthur's world, tombs & treasures, deja vu, faxanadu, the immortal, breath of fire and the dragon warrior games.. also baldur's gate, the ren & stimpy games that wrecked my nerves, zombies ate my neighbors, fester's quest, maniac mansion!!! ...gasp... too many to remember... aargghh! all those years spent in the dark deep in some labyrinth scribbling cryptic notes and maps.. is that what is was that made me mad? or did they save me from madness...? the world may never know.. (p.s. i never made it without biting..)
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ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
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SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
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WARNING!* these sites contain graphic language and/or images & subject matter related to self injury...
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i'm snowballinhell here..
WARNING!*
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down the rabbit hole..
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WARNING!*
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« from the limbo of lunary souls | Main | some thoughts on adult insecure attachment.. »

April 15, 2014

blood moon

boo.

did you see
the blood moon?
we've been enjoying watching cosmos, especially the episode
'a sky filled with ghosts'..
i'm still haunting.. but these days i'm hanging around the lost & found >link over there>

there are a bunch of new dollscapes in the gallery quarantine area since i last posted..

the song for the day is from nick drake ~

falling fast and falling free
you look to find a friend
talling fast and falling free
this could just be
the end
falling fast you stoop to touch
and kiss the flowers that bend
and you're ready now
for the harvest breed..

ghost at the gate

01:04 PM in adult insecure attachment, art, attachment disorder, attachment theory, Current Affairs, Music, psychology, psychotherapy, Science, Television, Weblogs | Permalink

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song for the day is from midlake ~

rulers, ruling all things

i have been cruel & kind
without knowing
i fell into silence
overwhelmed by these days
for i have been shown empty rulers
ruling all things
thinking the world was mine
to lay hold of
i breathed in
the promise of maiden & man
but each had their own illusions
to hold onto
i only want
to be left to my own ways
the rulers have won
leaving all things undone
i've stood in awe
of the whole creation
gathered among them is
the morning giving all its rest
thinking the world was mine
to be lost in
i ran with the freedom
& sang in between
for i had the path of wonder
there before me
i only want
to be left to my own ways
the rulers have won
leaving all things undone
i've stood in awe of
the whole creation
gathered among them was
the morning giving all its rest
i only want to be left to
my own ways..

Posted by: ghost | May 01, 2014 at 09:39 AM

midlake again ~

i untied all the ropelines
i gathered our things
& placed them beside me
you never arrived
& i got worried
you never arrived
& i was troubled
but you were bound to leave
& so i crumbled
you should steer
the seats are warm
on this boat
come on & hurry
move your feet
down the shore
that winter had a hold on
& we'll pass by
for the last time
we'll pass by
for the last time..

Posted by: ghost | May 05, 2014 at 04:40 PM

our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real.. ~ h. lecter

Posted by: h. lecter | May 29, 2014 at 03:40 PM

school shooting today at the high school where my son graduated not so long ago.. parents & students all reuniting in our local fred meyer supermarket parking lot, unbelievable.. what is it going to take before we have better gun control laws?

Posted by: ghost | June 10, 2014 at 01:26 PM

http://boundaryninjatales.com/2011/10/14/disorganized-attachment-or-why-you-think-youre-crazy-but-really-arent/

really good talk here regarding the often excruciating experience of therapy for those of us who are insecurely attached..

Posted by: ghost | July 22, 2014 at 02:14 PM

roses are dead
violets are food
i am insane
& i am too..

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/images/ghosthide.png

Posted by: ghost | July 29, 2014 at 04:25 PM

when i look at how people really are i am relieved to count myself among the freaks & outcasts..
remember the dolly for sue, not all the misfits are apparent..

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/images/misfitdolly.jpg

Posted by: ghost | October 19, 2014 at 10:01 AM

hey it's halloween..

seawolf again ~

dear fellow traveler
under the moon
i saw you standin' in the shadows
& your eyes were blue
you put your hand out
opened the door
you said come with me boy
i want to show you something more
you spoke my language
& touched my limbs
it wasn't difficult to pull me
from myself again
& in our travels
we found a rose
you held it like a mirror
showing me the life i chose
& i'll return to my beautiful city
black skies changed into blue
& my love is so wise & so pretty
but some nights i still
dream of you..
dear fellow traveler
under the moon
i think i'm growing weary
& i'm hopin' you'll come soon
& if i see you in clean new clothes
i hope you'll hold the mirror up
to show me what i chose
& i'll return to my beautiful city
black skies changed into blue
& though my love is so wise & so pretty
some nights i'll still
dream of you..
& i know you're out there
in the shadows
i know you're out there
in the shadows
i know you're out there
in the shadows..
dear fellow traveler
underneath the moon..

bren

http://brensgumbyland.com/halloween%20house.html

& toxic

Posted by: ghost | October 31, 2014 at 08:03 PM

we've been hit here in portland with our first snow & ice of the season with fierce east winds from the gorge blowing the tall fir trees surrounding our house. at night i pray for our trees the way i do for my kitties & loved ones..

new projects from toxic ~
http://brensgumbyland.com/hiding%20places.html

http://brensgumbyland.com/autumn%20butterfly.html

Posted by: ghost | November 16, 2014 at 10:03 AM

winter is here & although i love the cold & i'm accustomed to my solitary life with just my guys & kitties, this time the isolation is feeling rather intense. it's too freezing to venture out in the east wind, even the toyroom downstairs is too cold to spend much time in. i have sick & fragile old lady kitties to take care of & to keep warm. i'm not so different from them.. i have no other connections.

the trees are swaying..

http://www.brensgumbyland.com/images/fir.png

Posted by: ghost | December 02, 2014 at 12:16 PM

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a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
seeing is deceiving..
$@x!^&*#%!/
love bites.
life sucks.
"but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
"oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
"we're all mad here.
i'm mad. you're mad."
"how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
"you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
"to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
"i suppose so," said Alice.
"well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
but why is the rum gone?!
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