by Edgar Allan
Poe
The
skies they were ashen and sober;
The leaves they were crisped and
sere-
The leaves they were withering and sere;
It was night in the
lonesome October
Of my most immemorial year;
It was hard by the dim
lake of Auber,
In the misty mid region of Weir-
It was down by the
dank tarn of Auber,
In the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.
Here
once, through an alley Titanic,
Of cypress, I roamed with my
Soul-
Of cypress, with Psyche, my Soul.
These were days when my
heart was volcanic
As the scoriac rivers that roll-
As the lavas
that restlessly roll
Their sulphurous currents down Yaanek
In the
ultimate climes of the pole-
That groan as they roll down Mount
Yaanek
In the realms of the boreal pole.
Our talk had been
serious and sober,
But our thoughts they were palsied and sere-
Our
memories were treacherous and sere-
For we knew not the month was
October,
And we marked not the night of the year-
(Ah, night of all
nights in the year!)
We noted not the dim lake of Auber-
(Though
once we had journeyed down here),
Remembered not the dank tarn of
Auber,
Nor the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.
And now, as the
night was senescent,
And star-dials pointed to morn-
As the
star-dials hinted of morn-
At the end of our path a liquescent
And
nebulous lustre was born,
Out of which a miraculous crescent
Arose
with a duplicate horn-
Astarte's bediamonded crescent
Distinct with
its duplicate horn.
And I said–"She is warmer than Dian:
She
rolls through an ether of sighs-
She revels in a region of
sighs:
She has seen that the tears are not dry on
These cheeks,
where the worm never dies,
And has come past the stars of the
Lion,
To point us the path to the skies-
To the Lethean peace of the
skies-
Come up, in despite of the Lion,
To shine on us with her
bright eyes-
Come up through the lair of the Lion,
With love in her
luminous eyes."
But Psyche, uplifting her finger,
Said–"Sadly
this star I mistrust-
Her pallor I strangely mistrust:-
Oh,
hasten!–oh, let us not linger!
Oh, fly!–let us fly!–for we must."
In
terror she spoke, letting sink her
Wings until they trailed in the
dust-
In agony sobbed, letting sink her
Plumes till they trailed in
the dust-
Till they sorrowfully trailed in the dust.
I
replied–"This is nothing but dreaming:
Let us on by this tremulous
light!
Let us bathe in this crystalline light!
Its Sybilic splendor
is beaming
With Hope and in Beauty to-night:-
See!–it flickers up
the sky through the night!
Ah, we safely may trust to its
gleaming,
And be sure it will lead us aright-
We safely may trust to
a gleaming
That cannot but guide us aright,
Since it flickers up to
Heaven through the night."
Thus I pacified Psyche and kissed
her,
And tempted her out of her gloom-
And conquered her scruples
and gloom;
And we passed to the end of the vista,
But were stopped
by the door of a tomb-
By the door of a legended tomb;
And I
said–"What is written, sweet sister,
On the door of this legended
tomb?"
She replied–"Ulalume–Ulalume-
'Tis the vault of thy lost
Ulalume!"
Then my heart it grew ashen and sober
As the leaves
that were crisped and sere-
As the leaves that were withering and
sere-
And I cried–"It was surely October
On this very night of last
year
That I journeyed–I journeyed down here-
That I brought a dread
burden down here-
On this night of all nights in the year,
Ah, what
demon has tempted me here?
Well I know, now, this dim lake of
Auber-
This misty mid region of Weir-
Well I know, now, this dank
tarn of Auber,
This ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir."
Said we
then, the two then,
"Ah, can it have been
That the woodlandish
ghouls,
The pitiful, the merciful ghouls,
To bar up our way and to
ban it
From the secret that lies in these wolds,
From the thing that
lies hidden in these wolds,
Have drawn up the spectre of a
planet
From the limbo of lunary souls,
This sinfully scintillant
planet
From the Hell of the planetary souls..."
one day i'll answer the doorbell and the mailman will be there with no mail.. he'll just say, 'brenda, drink water!'
i think he's the only one left who hasn't told me to?
i'm a solitary ghost.. today i had to extend myself to get through a day with the 3d ones.. long story short we bought a car, i had to drive our cruiser home from quite aways.. new for me here..
then i took my stomach for a test.. we all had donuts & then later mex out for dinner.. (c'mon stomach, coffee, donut, enchilada.. can't we all just get along?)
in between it all i went for my much needed eye exam to get new glasses.. hard to do since i'm too nearsighted to see what new frames look like once i take my broken glasses off :/
but it all worked out and the humans there, including the dr were very nice and helpful to me.. go figure?
i seem to have 3 different bloody knuckles.. from dryness? i bump them and they bleed easily.. embarassing while trying on glasses with people close watching me..
thing is.. the pain i get all the time in my eyes turns out is a condition from chronic dry eyes and the dr told me no less than 10x i need to drink lots of water.. gave me new eyedrops, told me i have to take 2000mg of omega 3 each day.. (will my stomach handle this without puking?)
weird thing is they took retinal scans.. it turns out i have this great big freckle inside the back of my right eye.. not good really.. freckles/moles especially big and new can be a melanoma. not good. gotta go back in 6 mos. to see if it's changing/growing.
my great grandfather died of melanoma.
it's just a nice big green freckle.. that's all.
i come home and have a terrific anxiety attack. not panicky.. just pure fear. insecurity filling up the gap between my left shoulder and my right like thick black smoke.. i am so accustomed to my isolation that brushes with real people scare me to death. and new things, new glasses, breathing in something new.. how can i explain? my body starts to feel inflexible like i can't move and i wish i could talk to my old therapist like i used to forever ago. nothing touches that bad feeling. not my guys, kitties, home.. i have only ever really attached to people who never even know i am here.
ghost
Posted by: ghost | April 26, 2008 at 08:50 PM
another night of anxiety last night all over again.. something suddenly triggered a flare-up of my tmj.. i never know the cause..
i'm drinking water.. but like i've found before, as innocuous as water sounds it seems to make my stomach issues more troublesome, you'd think it would help, but i get esophageal reflux.. stomach/gi aches & cramps.. Fun!
but i'm trying to drink all i can anyway..
try as i may there's no way i could ever drink all the water i've been told to drink.. and i've heard the benefits of that kinda debunked anyway..
i've started the new eyedrops, but i can tell you already after looking online about omega 3.. no way my stomach will take it.. it's oil.. it'll make me sick. fish oil or flax oil, but fish oil is supposed to be better, and if your heart isn't pumping enough blood it can outright kill ya! great.. so it's water for me!!!!
but i definitely will be checking on the 'freckle' in 6 mos.!
this is what it looks like:
http://www.eyecancer.com/patient/Condition.aspx?nID=60&Category=Choroidal+Tumors&Condition=Choroidal+Nevus
this link makes it sound pretty harmless..
but on a medical board i heard someone ask about their 'retinal freckle' & the dr said 'oh they're not nearly as dangerous as the 'back of the eye' kind..' !! ? !! (my kind) ug.
there's too much new good lyrics/songs to post these days.. radical face, unkle stiltskin, electric president (go buy their new cd that comes out in june! *it has already leaked - some people have it already! shh!!*)
ghost
p.s.
we bought a good little used blue/green mitsubishi montero ls!
Posted by: ghost | April 28, 2008 at 12:06 PM
tmj tmj..
unrefuckinglenting!
:(
Posted by: ghost | April 28, 2008 at 08:55 PM
ongoing hailstorms today..
rain, thunder & lightning scaring my kitties..
:O
Posted by: ghost | April 29, 2008 at 12:50 PM