the names you drop are ice in my veins..

daily smith/satellite
while the hands are pointing
up midnight
you're a question mark
coming after people
you watch collide
you can ask
what you want to
the satellite..
'cause the names you drop are ice in my veins..
and for all you know
you're the only one who finds it strange
when they call it a lover's moon
the satellite..
'cause it acts just like lovers do
the satellite
a burned out world you know
staying up all night
a satellite..

...

daily smith/crazy fucker
it's a busted main line
but you oughta hear him out
bleeding fortified wine
out of the injury that i call my mouth
i just wanna play and
insult some crazy fucker from the south
whose arrow came to pick me out
and so i'm waiting for
a shot of white noise
i don't wanna hear no stupid
screaming little halfassed middle-class boy
because i got a headache and
i'm already full of useless stories
arrow come pick me out
because i got a headache and
i'm already full of these useless stories
arrow come pick me out
arrow come pick me out
your broken arrow 
- ghost

Comments

[ghost]

cutting again..
..
x
ghost

[ghost]

and again..
i recut directly over the last cuts.

i'm so tired & depressed.. and we've reached DB7 this weekend.. (devastatingly bored level #7) .. i'm about to do 'total obliteration' with my arms and 'judgment day' with my body like my son's gundam robots.. it's bad.

i'm so chronically tired and/or in pain i feel like i have nothing left to offer anymore.
depression has swallowed me whole..
i've given up.
ghost

[tracy]

hey ghost. i'm sad to hear you're cutting again. i so want good things for you. don't give up!!! please. i know you're strong enough. i know how hard it is too though. i cut again too. this did not go over well with my therapist. she made me bring my mom in. it was so mortifying!!! i felt like such a loser. she thinks that sooner or later i'm going to cut and really hurt myself. i miss the days really badly where i could just cut and no one knew except you and the others online. at least then it was mine. now i have no control. so i'm sorry you cut again but i understand. i want to cut so sosososososososo bad right now. all the blood and goodness of it all. i ache for it. does that make me crazy?? I don't know. please don't hurt yourself too bad though. i worry. anyway not much by me except trying not to cut so they don't send me to a long term treatment facility. ick. i hope you're good otherwise and that i hear from you soon. i'm sending all my kitty love your way. nite, tracy

[ghost]

thanks :) kitty love is the very best kind..

now that the weather's cold i'm squashed with kitty love with 7 of them.. i'm warm though..

therapy with your mom :0
geez, that would be my ultimate freakout.. i hope you can cut back (no pun intended) enough to stay OP..

yeah.. i did ok for a good long spell.. then it just came over me.. this quiet.. i don't know how else to describe it.. and i knew i was going to cut.. and no one would know.. the secrecy of it seemed too perfect.
then i went back the next day and cut the same cuts deeper.. then i felt like it was enough and i've stopped again.
it is hard to resist as it kills off any appetite.. and makes me so sleepy.

we went shopping at the halloween spirit store today that just opened up.. i bought fangs, blood, some glow-in-the-dark thing (toxic likes anything that glows in the dark..) and a little ghost that now hangs in my closet..

it's getting really cold.
i'm glad..

i'm just gonna hibernate and watch movies through this rain and hail.. i just bought vincent price's 'house on haunted hill', 'village of the giants' & 'the dunwich horror' (hp lovecraft) on used dvd super cheap at a local video store that was closing down.. i'm gonna watch them all..
i like tv.
nite,
ghost