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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is he except a being without access to the universe that he has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots..
In limbo
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
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all rights reserved..

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)


ghost toy catalogue

  • spookytown
    an inventory of toys & collectibles vintage & new including toxic's toys, toxic's library & halloweeniana..

    ~ copyright 2011 all rights reserved
Cherrytreemoon
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Scandalous
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

elliott smith & portland

Pdx
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

Thingsbehindthesun
things behind the sun (journals)
Razorblades
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
www.flickr.com
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Brenkitty
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Enter
halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..


  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    NEW ELDER SCROLLS!!
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

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« the love that i feel is so far away.. i'm a bad dream that i just had today. | Main | you're starting to spin in your circle again.. »

August 27, 2007

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ghost

i'm trying so hard to just let certain things go..
just let it all go.
it's either that or become a serial killer of some kind..

ghost

i stayed up with my son to watch the lunar eclipse from just before the umbra shadow through totality and into the prenumbra shadow before i crashed.. it was a cool ruddy reddish brown..

but then i still had trouble going to sleep thinking about a show i watched on IFC last night called 'the bridge'.. it's all video of people jumping off the golden gate bridge and telling their stories through friends & family.. geez.
several were schizophrenics just like my sister..

but the one that really got to me was a young man named gene who reminded me of my son in ways.. dressed in black with his black shades and long rocker hair.. he kept turning and trying to keep his hair from blowing right into his eyes the way my son always does.. friends say he'd been talking of doing it forever.. spent all his time in his room on his pc.. his mom, his only close family had died of cancer.. he felt he couldn't live unless he met someone he really loved.. and he was only like 24? also they said the day he jumped there was a message on his machine offering him a management position at a gamestop store.. (so like my son again..) if only that message had come sooner maybe it would've turned out differently?
he stood working up his nerve a long time and then stood on the railing and let himself fall backwards the way i always picture myself doing.. really got to me..

did i mention that i'm in the land of fucking bridges and waterfalls and romantic high places?

now i just so don't want that to be my end..

my life has been full to the top with suicidal ideation for as long as i can remember.. going over every scenario imaginable.. 50/50 success/survival rate.. and the survival scenarios are just based on fantasy.. you know.. someone actually helps.. suicide has a powerful draw.
real help would be so much better..
but what are your options? get locked up and drugged? no thank you..
i just never want to hurt my loved ones..
and i just pray my son doesn't inherit any more of my fucked up family dna.
it's such a sad sad thing. those folks working up their nerve..
i don't think most people are understanding what it's like to be in ongoing pain and ache? and need a way out? and trying to be happy and keep a sense of humor, trying to keep a family together and ok.. they were saying he was still fun to be around.. i know all about that.. i have to be that.
why is there no real help?
ghost

p.s.
on the subject of AD:
i was just reading someone's post over at adsg about recent evidence showing that cognitive therapy does not help with AD due to the very trust issue we've had to learn the hard way.. therapy is a big lie.. it's not real.
we want to think different.. with some of us our ad forces us to.. so we painfully try to seek this professional help and have no choice but to become attached.. only to find we're being screwed the same way we were in the first place..
that caused our original problem.
what could be more painful?

i wish she'd mentioned the source so i could link it here..
drugs and fake plastic friends are all the help that's available..
..i have another headache..
if there were such thing as a decent dr..
surely there are better painkillers that are safe for people with low b.p./weak heart?
no one listens.
no one takes anything seriously.
i'll never trust anyone who won't trust me.

Tracy

hey ghost...i'll listen. and i won't lie. i need someone to listen to me too. i've been thinking about suicide too much myself. last night i cut again. i hadn't in awhile but of course i fucked up. now i think my therapist won't see me anymore bc she said she wouldn't if i cut again. she also promised not to abandon me. so i thought maybe i should just kill myself so she wouldn't be mad at me. i'm not sure that makes any sense. i do know that the people in my head were much quieter after i cut. it's too bad cutting works better than all the freaking pills i swallow. i hate it all. i've been painting some...lots of red. but i still feel that need to cut. god i hate me. the people in my head make more and more sense. i've become so disconnected from myself. it's like this body named tracy goes to work everyday while my brain rots in turmoil by itself. i just want to bleed to pain away. i hope my therapist doesn't abandon me. i'm really not sure i can take that. it would all be too much. if she does i will NOT go to another one. that's it. i'm sorry to be so morbid. i just feel so alone this dark night. i hope that you are feeling ok. i hope that you can find real help. i'm always willing to listen. i think you're amazing. well, it's time for more pills and sleep. goodnight...tracy and luna too

ghost

tracy..
definitely do not worry so much about your therapist being mad at you..
too bad..
i know you like her but she's paid well i'm sure to be helpful to you whether you 'disappoint' her or please her is just not what's important..
i know though, i lost track of that in therapy myself.. because you don't want to risk being hated and that need takes over.. you should worry most about you.. not her..
:)

also i'm sure the people in your head make sense because they're aspects of you.. when people hear 'voices' it's really aspects of themselves.. but the nature of audio 'hallucinations' (for want of a better word) is that there is a little signal most people get from their brain that lets them know they are going to say something.. with some people this signal doesn't fire.. and so we can get confused as to where the 'voice' originates.. but i'll tell you i believe it to be aspects of your self..

i have aspects too but i 'hear' them differently.. and i know the meanest one is also absolutely the smartest..
i mean she'll beat me up to get me to listen and learn.. but the other one.. she never learns.. so on it goes.. the other one's toxic (my inner kid) and she likes magical thinking.. so the battle rages on..

i worry since schizophrenia runs in my family along with ocd.. and my son has ocd.. i worry enough that i feel like i HAVE to be here for him in case he needs me..
my sister was just deserted due to her illness.. i mean really left homeless prostituting on the street.. addicted to crack.. a lost cause..
so i never want to abandon my son.. (or kitties!) despite my ongoing suicidal wishes..

i've been angry lately..
i'm usually depressed, not angry.. i don't ever blow up.. i get angry and it just makes me sick instead.
lots of si thoughts..
lots of revenge fantasies..
ah well..
gotta go spill it into my art somehow.. i bought some antique dolls to use in a little stop-motion animation film short i'm trying to get started.. if only i weren't so fucking tired.. :(

i hope your therapist doesn't abandon you either.. it's a cold business for such painful material.. it matters so much how we are treated by our therapists.. i wonder if they even get it?

please don't let all my dark matter here trigger you, ok? i'll just tell you.. here at the blog i do not censor myself.. it gets bloody..
then when i have my own shit together i can be supportive to others over at the forum i mentioned.. so take care and know you are welcome either place..
luna too..
as a friend told me before,
just keep passing the open windows..
x/o (this is an elliottism)
ghost

Emma

Jesus. Must be something in the air because I've just spent the last few weeks thinkins about suicide too and its been a long time since I did that. Sometimes I think with me its just a mental temper tantrum. But I worry sometimes, because I rage so bad sometimes, that maybe I'll just have one single moment of head popping rage and grab the third rail.
Tracy, I am in therapy and I go through the same agonizing fear you are. You fuck up and then have to worry that you will get dropped. I am sorry to hear that your therapist has threatened to abandon you if you cut. It doesn't make sense to me and like ghost, I understand how painful that must be for you. I hope that you and your T can talk and maybe change this.

Ghost, you may be right about cognitive therapy not being effective, but I could never condemn Kay. In the end, if it fails, it sure isn't because she didn't try hard enough or care enough.
I'm sorry you are so sad. I know you are going through something particularly difficult now.
I wish you would forgive me.
Keep passing the open windows.
Em

ghost

emma..
first.. i think k's a keeper! she's willing to at least look around the frame.. and she gives you hugs and says she loves you.. hell.. she's forgiven.. not all psychs are as slimey as the ones i've had to cozy up to.

(also.. as i said, i'd like to find out more about the source.. is this only cognitive therapy? are other kinds of therapy beneficial? most therapists use a mixture of different styles and could adapt.. i just want the 'pros' to listen to us.. instead of being so sure they already know.. AD folks are arrested right off with a basic need unmet.. healthy attachment.. and it needs to be real.. not plastic. but we're steered to the pros.. what choice do we have? and our Ad functions automatically and involuntarily despite our awareness.. if it's not real it's just a replay of the painful/unhealthy attachment variety..)

i dunno.. it's smoke and mirrors to me..
'pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!
the great and powerful oz has spoken!'
...

second.. what's with this forgive you stuff? what am i going to do.. forgive you for me pissing you off? i drive everyone away.. i know that now..
i'm a drowning ghost..
it gets old.

the anger thing..
i just went through this seeing red episode..
it was just like clockwork.. i start to get really angry.. it simmers and i have such rich revenge fantasies.. i scheme.. i plan. i look for new places to hide cuts..
then after several days the anger literally just finally makes me sick.. i end up weak and tired and sick and i can't talk or eat and i just take antacids..

as for suicide.. all of us in my family except my younger brother have made an attempt or 2.. or 3.. (good thing we lived nowhere near the golden gate bridge?)..

these days what both terrifies me and makes me hold on is my son.. you see, schizophrenia is like a predisposed genie waiting to be let out of the bottle.. somewhere between around the ages of 18 and 30 it can be triggered by a major stress.. drug use.. no one is 100% sure.. it acts like a forest fire destroying grey matter once it's triggered.. i walked on eggshells till i turned 31 just like my other siblings.. we watch our children and pray.. dan already has ocd and is a southpaw.. just like my sick sister.. you know i worry these similar traits just sit there on the same bit of dna waiting..
i can't bail out on him..
but it's all i want is out..
so i'm just here still breathing.

p.s. tracy..
i forgot to say that i think i'd be really confused if my therapist told me both 'i will not abandon you' and 'if you cut i will end our therapy'..
but i advise against even listening to me on matters of trust..
ghost

ps.
good god i went on..
please ignore this if i didn't make sense.. i'm so used to just talking to my self..
i'm half out of my mind these days

Emma

Didn't have to ignore a thing - it all made sense to me. I'm still completely with you (sadly) on your point of view about therapy and I am really interested in finding out about the research you mentioned.

You haven't driven me away :) Hope you don't mind that I am still hanging around.

I hear you about the anger. I don't stay that way for long periods like you describe, but I can just imagine! I get in plenty of trouble with the episodes I have as it is.

I mentioned at the board about the somatic therapy I started. Maybe its something to learn about. It seems like meditation on the physical feeling in your body as you experience emotions. I think the idea is you learn a skill for recognizing and describing the actual feeling of the feeling (hope that makes sense), then I think the point is to somehow align the feeling you are having with the present or the past as appropriate. Somehow that is supposed to help - not sure. The thing that really intrigues me is the moving through the emotions. Like touching them and rolling them all around in your hands and looking at them. Mostly I want very much to address the feelings really directly without all the mess of "talk". I cant explain this well because it is really just a vague notion in my head, but my intstincts are pounding. I've only done one session (not counting one over the phone which was pretty interesting - especially because I was in a rage and became really calm, almost deeply calm).

Might turn out to be complete bullshit and it was just some passing infatuation of mine based on an out of control need for attention. Yep. Could just be that. I'll let you know if I figure it out :)

Think positive thoughts about your son and so will I.
See ya,
Em

ghost

em..
i'm less skeptical about the kind of therapy you're talking about than i am with talk therapy where we can bs ourselves and anyone else along..
emotions are like chemical energy in motion.. e-motion?.. and i've read how they actually get stored up in our cells.. in our bodies not just our brains..
i've had it pointed out that most of my emotion becomes somatized into my body.. no wonder i'm falling apart! (haha.. right now i'm saving up for a nice new plastic spine!) & my insides are shot, too..

i have an old book called 'the body reveals' and when i look up my body type it matches up with what i've gone through emotionally.. it literally shapes us..

i used to rage too.. a long time ago.. i used to break glass.. it was scary. but i got control of it years ago and that may even be worse.. ? i focus it inward very laserlike now.. i swear when i am trying Not to cut i am often looking at si pix/art i've done in the past.. going over it like it's my own kind of porn or something.. ...

i think i get what you're saying about the (physical) feeling of the (emotional) feeling.. for some reason the pain i've been dealing with for so many years has seemed so much more real/acute the last year.. i can't cope like i used to. i can't just ignore it anymore. migraines are classically linked to emotional stuff i so i kinda wonder..
and what you say makes me wonder about this symptom i get at times that i always associate with the worst kind of grief i guess it must be.. i get like an electrical feeling from the side of my neck into my chest over and over at the worst times. must mean something?

well, keep an open mind, what can it hurt?

i appreciate the good thoughts for dan.. he's such a good guy.. he's on the dean's list! but has some real socialphobia issues along with the ocd.. i keep fearing the big D word could be next..
damn my toxic dna.

off subject but talk about skeletons falling out of the closet.. we've been working on geneaology on the pc and going through old stuff and i found my grandmother's death cert. (my dad's mom) bizarre.. only just found out she died of syphillitic paresis.. (insanity and cerebral softening from syphillis..)! !
wow.. they kept that one huge fucking secret i can tell you..
it never ends..
ghost

Tracy

Hi. wow, i think we're all feeling a lot lately! i tried to read everything but i am definitely feeling a bit add tonight. emma, nice to meet you and thanks for the kind words. everything worked out with the T. she worked out a plan to kind of up what we've been working on and she didn't abandon me. though if i become chronic in my cutting she says that she can't see me as a patient. this wasn't chronic, just a two time oops. god, i think about cutting ALL the time. i really want to just feel the blood dripping on me. it's so sick i hate myself. and my shrink tomorrow is just going to up my meds if i'm honest with her and tell her that i still hear the voices. actually, i messed with my meds one night and didn't take my anti-psychotic pills. well that night i heard like 100 voices in my head all whispering and plotting against me and jw (one voice in my head) says that they're always there. i guess the pills keep them away. it scared the sh*t out of me. all those voices. it was overwhelming. and don't worry about your venting triggering me. your venting helps me bc it makes me feel like i can vent and it is so amazing to have people who just understand. right now i'm stressing over seeing my shrink tomorrow. i don't really like her that much and i'm 99% sure she doesn't like me either. ick. i think this will require extra klonopin. i really hope this tough spot for you passes soon ghost. you truly are a special soul. and i see good things for your son no matter what challenges he might face. he sounds like a genuine, strong, creative person. he will prevail. well, i have to get back to watching tennis. much love to all, tracy and luna too

Tracy

ps...i added some new stuff i wrote to my myspace page. nothing special but if you feel like it i'd love your take. only if you want though. i don't want to impose me on anyone. :)

ghost

tracy..
that is really sweet of you to say.. thank you..
you are also a strong genuine caring person who will prevail.. you guys are both still so young so just keep on truckin'.. and i'm glad you are still able to stick with your therapist..
my son kinda pulls out his hair without paying attention, but he's got plenty of long hair.. hehe.. if mild ocd/anxiety is all he gets from my bad genes then he'll do fine..
i'm with you about the cutting.. it's a kind of obsession.. it's all i have too. i just keep stringing it out.
ghost

p.s.
'if i were a black bird
i'd fly around the world in
perpetual autumn..' - me

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lost & found toys

cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

ulalume

  • by Edgar Allan Poe

    The skies they were ashen and sober;
    The leaves they were crisped and sere-
    The leaves they were withering and sere;
    It was night in the lonesome October
    Of my most immemorial year;
    It was hard by the dim lake of Auber,
    In the misty mid region of Weir-
    It was down by the dank tarn of Auber,
    In the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

    Here once, through an alley Titanic,
    Of cypress, I roamed with my Soul-
    Of cypress, with Psyche, my Soul.
    These were days when my heart was volcanic
    As the scoriac rivers that roll-
    As the lavas that restlessly roll
    Their sulphurous currents down Yaanek
    In the ultimate climes of the pole-
    That groan as they roll down Mount Yaanek
    In the realms of the boreal pole.

    Our talk had been serious and sober,
    But our thoughts they were palsied and sere-
    Our memories were treacherous and sere-
    For we knew not the month was October,
    And we marked not the night of the year-
    (Ah, night of all nights in the year!)
    We noted not the dim lake of Auber-
    (Though once we had journeyed down here),
    Remembered not the dank tarn of Auber,
    Nor the ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir.

    And now, as the night was senescent,
    And star-dials pointed to morn-
    As the star-dials hinted of morn-
    At the end of our path a liquescent
    And nebulous lustre was born,
    Out of which a miraculous crescent
    Arose with a duplicate horn-
    Astarte's bediamonded crescent
    Distinct with its duplicate horn.

    And I said–"She is warmer than Dian:
    She rolls through an ether of sighs-
    She revels in a region of sighs:
    She has seen that the tears are not dry on
    These cheeks, where the worm never dies,
    And has come past the stars of the Lion,
    To point us the path to the skies-
    To the Lethean peace of the skies-
    Come up, in despite of the Lion,
    To shine on us with her bright eyes-
    Come up through the lair of the Lion,
    With love in her luminous eyes."

    But Psyche, uplifting her finger,
    Said–"Sadly this star I mistrust-
    Her pallor I strangely mistrust:-
    Oh, hasten!–oh, let us not linger!
    Oh, fly!–let us fly!–for we must."
    In terror she spoke, letting sink her
    Wings until they trailed in the dust-
    In agony sobbed, letting sink her
    Plumes till they trailed in the dust-
    Till they sorrowfully trailed in the dust.

    I replied–"This is nothing but dreaming:
    Let us on by this tremulous light!
    Let us bathe in this crystalline light!
    Its Sybilic splendor is beaming
    With Hope and in Beauty to-night:-
    See!–it flickers up the sky through the night!
    Ah, we safely may trust to its gleaming,
    And be sure it will lead us aright-
    We safely may trust to a gleaming
    That cannot but guide us aright,
    Since it flickers up to Heaven through the night."

    Thus I pacified Psyche and kissed her,
    And tempted her out of her gloom-
    And conquered her scruples and gloom;
    And we passed to the end of the vista,
    But were stopped by the door of a tomb-
    By the door of a legended tomb;
    And I said–"What is written, sweet sister,
    On the door of this legended tomb?"
    She replied–"Ulalume–Ulalume-
    'Tis the vault of thy lost Ulalume!"

    Then my heart it grew ashen and sober
    As the leaves that were crisped and sere-
    As the leaves that were withering and sere-
    And I cried–"It was surely October
    On this very night of last year
    That I journeyed–I journeyed down here-
    That I brought a dread burden down here-
    On this night of all nights in the year,
    Ah, what demon has tempted me here?
    Well I know, now, this dim lake of Auber-
    This misty mid region of Weir-
    Well I know, now, this dank tarn of Auber,
    This ghoul-haunted woodland of Weir."

    Said we then, the two then,
    "Ah, can it have been
    That the woodlandish ghouls,
    The pitiful, the merciful ghouls,
    To bar up our way and to ban it
    From the secret that lies in these wolds,
    From the thing that lies hidden in these wolds,
    Have drawn up the spectre of a planet
    From the limbo of lunary souls,
    This sinfully scintillant planet
    From the Hell of the planetary souls..."

little friends..

Danradpic
back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!

ghost movie picks..

  • not necessarily in this order:
    1 Dead Man
    2 Notorious
    3 Bringing Up Baby
    4 It’s a Wonderful Life
    5 A.I.
    6 Pink Floyd/The Wall
    7 The City of Lost Children
    8 Orphans (Matthew Modine)
    9 The Effect of Gamma Rays on 
    Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds
    10 The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
    11 The Curse of the Cat People
    12 Pirates of the Caribbean 1, 2 & 3 
    13 Jan Svankmejer’s Alice
    14 Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
    15 Sybil
    16 Edward Scissorhands
    17 The Nightmare Before Christmas
    18 A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
    19 An Angel at My Table
    20 Rear Window
    21 The Wizard of Oz
    22 Oliver!
    23 King Kong (original)
    24 Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey
    25 Titus
    26 The Swimmer
    27 Monty Python & the Holy Grail
    28 Sergeant York
    29 A Streetcar Named Desire
    30 The Little Princess  (original)
    31 Immortal Beloved
    32 Life & Death
    33 The Little Fugitive
    34 Willy Wonka (both)
    35 Endless Summer
    36 Dead Poets Society
    37 Silence of the Lambs
    38 Instinct
    39 Sleepy Hollow
    40 Pollock
    41 Days of Wine & Roses
    42 Something Wicked This Way 
    Comes
    43 James & the Giant Peach
    44 Lemony Snickett’s Series of 
    Unfortunate Events 
    45 The Shining (original)
    46 Harold & Maude
    47 Psycho
    48 The Road to Utopia (& others!)
    49 Monkey Business (Cary Grant)
    50 North By Northwest
    51 Spider Baby
    52 Golden Earrings
    53 The Miracle Worker
    54 The Neverending Story
    55 A Clockwork Orange
    56 Clash of the Titans
    57 The Outsiders
    58 Benny &Joon
    59 The Whisperers
    60 Angela’s Ashes
    61 Willow
    62 Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein
    63 Polyester
    64 Scrooged
    65 Groundhog Day
    66 PeeWee’s Big Adventure
    67 The African Queen
    68 Victor/Victoria
    69 The Others
    70 From Hell
    71 Dreamchild
    72 The Paleface
    73 Another Woman
    74 Warlock
    75 Fanny & Alexander
    76 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
    77 Duel
    78 A Girl Named Sooner
    79 A Christmas Story
    80 Return to Oz
    81 Harry Potter (movies)
    82 Van Helsing 
    83 Don’t Look in the Basement
    84 Toy Story
    85 The Court Jester
    86 Murder, He Says
    87 Indiscreet
    88 Creepshow
    89 Mr Smith Goes to Washington
    90 Harvey
    91 Brainstorm
    92 Ed Wood
    93 Defending Your Life
    94 The Bells of St. Mary’s
    95 Going My Way
    96 This Property is Condemned
    97 Rebel Without a Cause
    98 Labyrinth
    99 Jabberwocky
    100 Cheech & Chong’s Nice Dreams
    101 Gone With the Wind
    102 6th Sense
    103 To Kill a Mockingbird
    104 Troll
    105 Small Soldiers
    106 Jumanji
    107 Mrs. Doubtfire
    108 Gaslight
    109 Take the Money and Run
    110 The Old Man and the Sea
    111 Hocus Pocus
    112 Witches
    113 Casablanca
    114 What About Bob
    115 The Godfather
    116 The Deer Hunter
    117 Raiders of the Lost Ark
    118 Greystoke: Legend of Tarzan
    119 Monty Python’s Meaning of Life 
    120 Eraserhead
    121 Arsenic & Old Lace
    122 Motel Hell
    123 Dial M for Murder
    124 The Other
    125 The Chronicles of Narnia
    126 Napoleon Dynamite
    127 SOB
    128 The Secret Garden
    129 Apocalypse Now
    130 Hide & Seek
    131 Eternal Sunshine Spotless Mind
    132 The Abandoned
    133 Pan's Labyrinth
    134 Kafka
    135 One Hour Photo
    136 Jack the Bear
    137 Fur: Diane Arbus
    138 Unforgiven
    139 Dances With Wolves
    140 Alice in Wonderland 2010
    141 True Grit (2010)
    142 The Wolfman (original & new)
    143 Universal Monsters (originals)
    144 The Road
    145 The Woman in Black
    146 Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
    147 Dark Shadows
    148 The Yellow Wallpaper
    149 Paranorman
    150 The Hobbit (all)
    151 Frankenweenie
    152 Oz the Great & Powerful
    153 The Raven 2012
    154 Snow White & the Huntsman
    155 The Elephant Man
    156 Hugo
    157 Rabbit-Proof Fence
    158 Mama
    159 My Side of the Mountain 1969
    160 Maleficent
    161 God Bless Ozzy (bio)
    162 The Book Thief
    163 Wakefield
    Gumby Adventures (original & new)
    The Twilight Zone episodes (original)
    The Outer Limits (original)
    The Night Gallery
    Davey & Goliath
    Mr Rogers Neighborhood
    Sesame Street (pre elmo!)
    Little House on the Prairie
    Monty Python’s Flying Circus
    Mystery Science Theater 3000
    Good Neighbors
    SCTV
    The Rockford Files
    Fawlty Towers
    Ripping Yarns
    Metamorphosis (play) 
    The Glass Menegerie(play)
    Death of a Salesman(play)
    Absurd Person Singular(play)
    Koyaanisquatsi
    I, Claudius (miniseries)
    The Chronicles of Narnia (miniseries)
    Merlin (miniseries)
    The Snowman (animated)
    The Selfish Giant (animated)
    Prokofiev's Peter & the Wolf 2006
    Secret of Kells (animated)
    Yellow Submarine (animated)
    Watership Down (animated)
    Peter Rabbit & Friends (animated)
    Frog & Toad (animated)
    Dr Seuss (animated shows)
    Kroft shows (Land of the Lost, etc…)
    Peanuts (animated shows)
    Felix the Cat (animated cartoons)
    The Oblongs (animated)
    The Addams Family (original series)
    The Munsters (original series)
    The Phantom Creeps (serial)
    Bill & Coo (live bird show)
    The Sopranos (series)
    Biggest Loser (series)
    All Rankin/Bass shows (Mad Monster
    Party, Daydreamer etc)
    Little Rascals/Our Gang comedies 
    Deadwood (series)
    Secrets of the Dead (series)
    Mantracker (series)
    Dual Survival (original series)
    Estate of Panic (series)
    Criminal Minds (series)
    Two Fat Ladies (series)
    History Detectives (series)
    Oregon Field Guide (series)
    Once Upon a Time (both series)
    Oddities (series)
    Odd Folks Home (series)
    The Incredible Dr Pol (series)
    Colbert Report (series)
    Bates Motel (series)
    Hannibal (series)
    Longmire (series)
    Treehouse Masters (series)
    The Blacklist (series)
    Life Below Zero (series)
    Sleepy Hollow (series)
    Dracula (series)
    Portlandia (series)
    The Walking Dead (series)
    Breaking Bad (series)
    Alaska: the Last Frontier (series)
    American Horror Story (series)
    Salem (series)
    Penny Dreadful (series)
    Chronicles of Lizzie Borden (series)
    Grimm (series)
    Fear of the Walking Dead (series)
    The Killing (series)
    The Fall (series)

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