mothra's day..

so so sick of fighting.. so unnecessary to be such an arse and cause me to end up awake all night staring at razorblades.. wishing i was dead. fuck mother's day.

 

  looking over my shoulder / *sticks & stones*
wiped out in the city slick
another sick rock 'n roller acting like a dick
needin' cash.. burnin' through the trash
that piles up in this place
and fills up behind my empty face
full of things that i'm not to do
you come over with all of your friends
and all their opinions i don't want to know
and i'm looking over my shoulder
bookin' away with nowhere to go
i run down to the corner lot
it's 45 past 2
i almost forgot to show
i got a date to make with mr so 'n so
after which
i won't care when you all start to bitch and moan about being alone
you come over with all of your friends
and all their opinions i don't want to know
and i'm looking over my shoulder
bookin' away with nowhere to go
well can't you just leave me alone?
you've already thrown all the sticks and stones
you had to send my way
well can't you just leave it at that?
and spare us both the bother 'cause i just bounce back anyway
i got nothin' that i want to do
more than make another sonnet
{fuck you}
to play whenever you make my life cliche
so to fit in some little box with the all the lame bullshit
you say to keep confusion away
you come over with all of your friends
and all their opinions i don't want to know
and i'm looking over my shoulder
bookin' away with nowhere to go
you come over with all of your friends
and all their opinions i don't want to know
and i'm looking over my shoulder
bookin' away..

high times
coma kid told me how he'd come to follow you around wherever you go
said i don't go where i'm supposed to go
and i don't go really anywhere you know
told me how he's driven by a curse 'til he kicked out into reverse
said i don't go where i'm supposed to go
and i don't go really anywhere you know
i made up my mind and i don't mind saying so
i went to meet you at central square
and when i couldn't find you there
i went walking around my city some more
people watching with a cold blank stare
and i saw your face in everyone i swear
it seems i never get your kick quite right
i was walking slow to a dirty dive
i'm so sick and tired
of trying to change your mind
when it's so easy to disconnect mine
high times
high times
high times
yeah i feel fine
high times
high times
high times
man i feel fine
don't pick me up
i'm fine right where i am..

i don't go
where i'm supposed to go
where i'm supposed to go ..

xo, ghost

p.s. go to hell.

Comments

[ghost]

i didn't cut..
thank god for art
and being able to go into my head.

[ghost]

god.. headaches.. headaches.. stacked on top of other headaches..
i've had them so long i always thought i was used to it.. but i'm a tired ghost now.. i'm so tired of being in pain.
my phobic/ocd mistrust of meds has gotten much worse.. i take so much tylenol, and i write it all down but i'm afraid i'll accidentally overdose and make myself sick.. i'm afraid i'll take it in the night when i'm not thinking.. i count the hours over and over and over in my head and then i don't trust that i counted right so i sit there with them in my mouth and panic at the last second afraid to swallow them half the time.. counting again..
can't trust myself..
can't trust anything.
ghost

[ghost]

i'm really depressed
but there's nothing i can do.. i'm just alone.