a paradox..

deepak chopra says we are creating reality from what we expect or believe..
what if i believe that to be a load of crap? does that mean that it is?
or then is it not because it is?
a conundrum for you to ponder...

well, it's xmas weekend.. so it's xmas as far as i'm concerned now..
bdhp & i went shopping out in the throng yesterday for his xmas shirt..
that's what he wanted.. he got 6! and found himself a huge book on the cosmos crammed full of incredible pictures of space and all the planets and nebulae & galaxies & suns & good stuff.. it's so big i expected carl sagan to rise out of it as a pop-up.. merry xmas, bdhp!
my son is agonizing over his wrapped gift under the tree.. is it final fantasy 12? it's heavy and in an odd shaped box..(hehe..) oh he of little faith!!
i have a red gift under the tree with an emily gifttag on it.. i know what it is already..>:) i'll tell later..
i'm ok so far..
i have this little xmas monkey on my hearth.. his hands are joined together with velcro and the way my son placed him it looks like he's holding his head.. like he has a migraine pretty bad.. maybe he's a headache monkey? holding it for me? like those 'worry dolls'..
i dreamt last night that i had another baby.. no birth.. he was just here.. and he looked just like bing crosby.. think i've had about enough of the xmas mix!
oh yeah.. i almost forgot.. here's your xmas present!! gumby in 'christmas crisis'
ghost & toxic

Comments

[ghost]

well..
i just found out that my sister is living with 'some black couple' in la my mom says in her xmas card to me.. and upon tracking it seems the xmas box i sent was delivered even though we paid for return costs if she was no longer there..
so some other crack addict gets my sister's xmas..
whatever..
i tried & tried to confirm her residence but the 'sober living' houses are so unlisted and difficult to reach, especially from out of state.. the only way i even confirmed the address at all was due to the fact that a known sex offender lives there and that is on public record...
what.. ever...
what the fuck ever..
bah!

[emma]

Ah! That sucks! Lets hope that whoever did end up with the gift appreciates it. You tried Ghost.

I am alarmed to hear about your new baby...Bing Crosby. I think you are probably right that you may have OD'd on the Christmas mix.

Dude, yer killin me with the Chopra thing. I can't ponder it because I can't even figure out the question :) Oh wait, I just reread it for the 4th time and now its sinking in. Yeah, your're right. He's gottcha whichever way you turn. A nice metaphor for life. I'm seriously considering giving up trying to understand anything and just go back to stumbling blindly as opposed to stumbling in complete darkness with my eyes bugging out of my head.

Tonight we eat fish. Lots of fish. Paul's father makes calamari that is my all time favorite and tonight is the night. Christmas to me is standing behind Carmine and secretly eating his fried calamari as it comes off the pan. Oink!

Eat Santa! EAT!

[ghost]

hehe..
i like to think that in fact i've got him.. it's contradictory & illogical..
i went through the self-awareness phase of life like 15 years ago.. and realized it is in fact more palatable to go forth blindly.. so i tried to revert with all my might..
still trying..
i gotta go bake and cook and stuff..
enjoy!!!

[ghost]

aaaaaahhhhhhh... smith...

i got the 2 newest emily kitties!! mummy & spider!!

[ghost]

well.. it's over.
and now i'm so depressed all i want to do is cut into myself and watch the blood and think about all my good friends..
i'm so sick of the humans..

[emma]

Hey Ghost,
What's going on. Why down? It's good its over I think. It's too much. Such nonsense. Why do you feel so bad?

[ghost]

em i just had such an after xmas crash into depression.. we all tried to have a good holiday.. but the void of our family & so called friends is just too much..
i felt like i was going to go right into si.. so i just had to do something else instead.. since pete mentioned the board and peekaboo being just gone.. i decided to start the new board and hope some people come by to talk..
i just can't deal with this kind of isolation and keep going, you know?
well, it may end up a bust.. but it couldn't be any worse than what we've already seen, huh?
ghost
p.s. i didn't cut!

[emma]

Hey Ghost,
Its good you found a way to sublimate. The new board is a good idea. I am afraid of a few things. Like assholes. And getting lost in the mix. The first one is probably a legitimate fear. The second one isn't :)
Glad no x

[ghost]

yeah, i'm afraid robots will come! but i guess it's the risk we take to have humans around, huh?
and about getting lost in the mix.. that could not happen! people so come and go even on obscure boards and we'll be lucky to get any new regulars at all..
and the say of the original members is what goes.. if anyone comes on and acts jerky i have the power to just ban them..
muahhaahaa!! >:)
and although bdhp hasn't visited yet, he did join.. so we've got our own personal bouncer..
but i getchya.. it's always scary amongst them humans for me..
i kinda felt stranded when pete said peek was really just gone..
so how is merlin doing with oblivion? have you lost him?
i'm eating pumpkin pie over and over and deciding it's ok.. hope you're doing something good for your vacation :)

[emma]

Hee hee,
I just enlarged the kitty pic and read what it said. Too cute!

You're eating? I'm eating too! Oink. I better stop soon though. I've got piglette problems. Can't fit into my work clothes and can't buy new ones so...
Doing anything tonight? We're gonna stay safe here at home.

Merlin is loving oblivion. He wants to know how to get gold and what are the good weapons. (I think he is finding it difficult.) Oh, and he ran into simplicia! That just cracked me up.

[ghost]

my old pal simplicia! hehe..
it takes a little work right at first in oblivion..
the best way to get gold is to look in caves for treasure (or steal stuff but don't let me influence..)
then you can sell the things you find to armory & weapon shops
(or steal stuff..)
we're home watching the zone marathon for new year's.. but we drove into vancouver to go shopping today.. too much fun! i found toys!! so i am happy!
have to say that when i get the chance, 'cause it's usually fleeting..
fireworks here are scaring my kitties now.. they're crouch/scooting in to hide under the covers or under my bed..
bye bye 2006..
i'm wondering did you find out yet about your ins. for 2007? is therapy back in your future or no?
well, prospero ano!
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