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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..
my photo albums (sound up!)

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space

« fly speck rage.. | Main | known to bite.. »

November 23, 2006


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i get depressed like this.. but then i gotta wonder what kind of thanksgiving my sister's having in whatever facility she's in..


The Holidays are a big set up. I boil them down. Thanksgiving is just turkey for dinner. Christmas is a day that Shane gets gifts and we have turkey for dinner again. That's all. Did you list "No Expectations" on the songs at the other site? If not, probably belongs :) Fuck the hype. Its a set up. A big bear trap. Don't get your legs chopped off!

Most of the humans you see Ghost, are all busted up inside too. Most just have no idea. I don't know whether to pity them or envy them.

What happened to the other post about the secret message? I was going to put a lot of effort into failing to figure that out :)


same here.. we look forward to the turkey & pie for both holidays.. and we've already bought dan his final fantasy 12 w/ ltd ed guide and hidden it away.. but it's just sad now except for the comfort of tryptophan and a nice nap after all the work..
it reminds me of my relatives and i wonder about them..

well, i dragged myself kicking & screaming to the dr and i'm on antibiotics now.. in two weeks if the lump is not gone he said i'll have to have it biopsied..
if it's lymphoma i should know by christmas..


better pick which bridge/waterfall.. just in case?

on a lighter note.. see now em, ya gotta pawn jr's violin or somethin' and get an xbox.. you know that freaky burger king with the big head? if you buy a value meal at bk you can get games for $4 each that are a blast.. i'm playing pocketbike racer.. racing the king himself around on weird tracks doing wheelies and stoppies tony hawk style.. too much fun.. :) cracks me up! better than prozac!


Geez, and I used to think coal was a bad gift on Christmas. Well lets keep our fingers crossed about the antibiotic. I once found a lump in my arm pit. That was a fun couple of weeks. Was nothing. Hope yours is nothing too. HA! hope you get NOTHING for Christmas :)

I can't think of anything to sell. He wants to keep his playstation (or whatever it is). If I didn't go to therapy for a few weeks... gag! hissy fit!!! tantrum!!!


you know nothing is probably what our xmas will be this year.. but at least we got our frontyard display set up in between storms.. i'll get a pic out there if it snows..

the original playstation has some good games too..
it's a ripoff that they don't make each system backward compatible so that you can simply trade up and not lose older games..

man i spent a night of panic attacks last night.. just waking me up one right after the other.. i don't know why.. i never really know why.. i think i'm just wired that way from when i was a kid? my whole life has been about fear.. dread, anxiety, worry, panic, or terror.. except for the nice dissociated days of childhood.. well.. even then i always knew it lurked right around the corner..
i discovered the whole concept of ad originally by reading about agoraphobia online.. there is an insecure attachment theory to agoraphobia..
i think it was persevere that told me fear was the absence of love/god..
geez.. nobody has prayed more.. literally obsessive/compulsively since childhood.. i mean, i hang onto him.. so why don't i ever feel anything holding onto me?
not fair if i can't help it.. you know?
oh well..

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cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

Plague dr
the lost album - click to enter my current photo album here.. (sound up)
click to visit my old around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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