xxx..

and then.. hypothermia set in...

it's very cold & very windy here at the columbia river gorge..
back to the old ghostunes..
every one of these quiet rares holds a little broken piece from along the way...

daily smith/new disaster

the ghost of your smile
is always looking for new bodies to haunt..
and it's been here
and disappeared..
it's hanging around aloofly for awhile..
gradually gone..
it's pleasing..
and freezing..

well i wonder what it is you're after?
keeping company with this disaster..
you looked all over town
and got turned around to walk back through the mud..
the kind you had left behind you..

everybody's the same in this long no-win game
where every new blood gets time to become resigned..
now i wonder what it is you're after?
keeping company with this disaster..
why you never try to tame your master?

you just blow through the coals..
blow through the coals..
blow through the coals..
till everyone knows..
that your smile is just a ghost...

daily smith/abused

now that everybody's worn the expression..
(not that you wanted to use..)
it seems untrue now..
but the funniest thing is it fits you now..
to a perfect t.

you may never understand this affliction
although you feel the effects..
you feel bruised now..
body and mind..
you feel used now
almost all of the time..
been abused.. abused.. abused..

sunday morning in the aisle with my brother
watching the lady in black tell the youths how
they're supposed to behave..
but tell the truth now..
you don't know what you're saying..
we've been abused.. abused.. abused..
abused.. abused.. abused.. abused...

other people see some evil intention
but the closer you get the more you get confused how..
why does everyone know?
been abused now..
(didn't want it to show..)

ghost

Comments

[emma]

What's this? Kinda scary, and to think holloween is just over...
Put on some more layers and keep warm, hypothermia kills.

[friendlyghost]

it's ok.. i didn't even need to go to the snowcave.. it just sorta came and found me this time.. the hypothermia's more emotional than physical..
but layers.. hell yeah! i'm an old beach bum.. i'm not used to this and it's kinda scary alright.. gotta wear my expedition weight longjohns and armwarmers under my clothes just to go for a drive..
meager trick'or'treater traffic last night.. not many parents'll send their little ones out in this.. the winds here from the gorge make it killer cold.
how'd k take your cancellation, em?

[emma]

What came and found you ghost? Was it an after shock? Are you being polite? Well mannered? Easy going? No trouble at all? Brave?

K is pissed. Oh, no, I'm sorry, they don't get pissed. She is aggrivated :) BULLSEYE!!!!! Oh, I am a devil. And tomorrow I'm gonna get it, because I ended up begging for a session after I told her there was no way I was going, because she is less accessible than GOD. Its crazy ghost how fast I go from sane to unreasonable baby with her. I wish you could watch so you could laugh yer ass off at me! Somebody should laugh :) I'm kinda laughing, and cowering with fear. Every week now, ghost. I'm doing this every week now.

[emma]

No one came to my house. I think we look unfriendly :)

[friendlyghost]

oh man.. you've done it now em... this testing is dangerous..

we each in our own way never learn, huh?

i woke up back in the snowcave somehow..
i'm so cold and tired and resigned to my sad fate..
i won't ever feel better, i know..
just try not to cut until i have to.. and it's alright 'cause i won't be going to the dr anytime soon.. this makes me glad.
we're going broke and if my husband loses his job now it'll be because of this situation with his a.d.d. meds.. which is pushing me the rest of the way into the deepfreeze.. and i am just renewed in my hopeless depression all over again about all things..
i love the cold though..
cold comfort.. i can only sleep when it's cold..
now it's raining too..
trees are falling down..
it's like heaven and hell all in one place..
and there's just nothing else i can do at all now but crawl into the snowcave with mr smith wrapped around me and hibernate...

[friendlyghost]

p.s.
oh yeah.. licia used to call it 'stoic'..

[friendlyghost]

did i mention the (other) idiot neighbor i have on the other side? besides the cattrapping neglected swimming pool ones? the punk on the other side started shining his laser light up into my kitties eyes in our big front bay window where they like to sit.. the red light came pearing through the curtains at me.. my son saw him dart back into the garage..
one of my kitties turns up blind and i'm gonna slice that punk's throat for him in his sleep..
yeah, i'm all smiley faces today..
everyone says there's good humans out there.. and i know there are 'cause i know some of 'em ;)
but the ratio's approximately 1 good to every 1k mfers...
it's fucking cold here man.
ghost

[emma]

I didn't even get thru your first sentence before laughing out loud. Not to minimize your message. Dude, you have to tell them next door that that can blind animals and people. Don't assume they know. I am always shocked at what people do not know (I do not know). Maybe you could find something off the internet and print it out and put it in their mail box?

Ghost, what's the matter? Are you not venting because you think you vented too much? You're wrong.

Things went well with K this morning.(Once the dust settled after the fierce fighting)

[emma]

You know, I'm such a jerk sometimes. I'm rereading what you are writting and you are telling me what is wrong and I just keep asking what is wrong! Sorry. I understand. I bet you're also a little down about holloween being over. I guess I was sort of searching for something related to Licia. That's not nice. But really, its just me worrying a little. This is a weird post.

[friendlyghost]

i guess toxic got us through halloween.. but i crashed right after.. i just don't even want to be here.
and talking to licia again was nice for a couple minutes.. then i am right back to feeling alone in the universe and nothing has changed.
if there's any help to therapy to us ad'ers, em..
wring it outta k.. don't give up till you try everything, man...
'cause otherwise maybe it truly is hopeless.

[friendlyghost]

p.s.
i posted over at the board about your latest with k..
wish i coulda been there ringside! with popcorn & beer and painted up in green gumby mojo colors?!
cheering you on, man!!

[emma]

That is too funny. I just replied to your post and I said I wish you were a fly on the wall! I didn't think today would go well. But it did. I'm not sure if she thinks so as much, but I feel so much safer.

I know what you mean about it lasting a couple of minutes. You know that is my routine too. Don't know how long this little high will last - its already been longer than any. But it does give me hope. And hope for me is hope for you.

Sometimes, when it really hurts in therapy, I talk to you.

[friendlyghost]

that kind of hope that you have now has a chance of lasting because it is based on something real..

i'm glad you can talk to me at those times.. and i can give you my fine wisdom and advice, huh?
chuckling now...

[emma]

It is to chuckle :) Poor K!

[emma]

Attack of the anti-X !!!!

[friendlyghost]

very post-modern!!!

[emma]

Ouch. Who's that for?

[friendlyghost]

yeah, i dunno?
hm....?
maybe i have enemies??

[friendlyghost]

i have no clue who that was..
but they erased your hugsy piece!
grumble..
ghost

[emma]

I guess that one is from You? Well, it's minutes are numbered, I'm gonna put something happy up soon. You know I a big mush and it only gets worse when I am happy :)
Later

[friendlyghost]

aww.. leave it a day to see if the original person who left the fu wants to come back?

[friendlyghost]

i like a good scrap!
xxx

[emma]

Agreed. We must defy the trespassers!!!

[friendlyghost]

oh yes..
lure them back.. and then..
off with their heads!!

[emma]

Hey,
go check out our thing! We're so proud!!!!!

[friendlyghost]

see! now you guys are truly into the spirit of gumby!! weaponry, stop-motion (robot chicken style), sorcery, army men, and good old Violence!!! Yay! Violence! Yay!
(even brought out the capital letters..)
oh man, but i'm so gonna top it... hmm.. thinking..

well, score one small victory for the kitties! they drained the pool!!!!
it's pouring rain without stopping though... oh man,
they're smart, huh?
ghost

p.s. new kitty pix again in the random pix album!!

[friendlyghost]

p.s.
dada is doodoo...

[emma]

?

[emma]

Don't know what you mean by the PS.

And I posted the comment about the drawing board in the wrong place. Looks like a special someone has been visiting again.

Thought you lopped off their head? Guess they have two. Sharpen your blade.