snowball in hell: kind to every living creature?

About

a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is he/she except a being without access to the universe that he has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)

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rows of never opened doors:
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all rights reserved..

ghost

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ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

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i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
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remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
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this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
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portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
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ghost links..

XXX..............RIP..............XXX here lies the psychconnection archive.. click here to peruse the remains (what's left after many members' posts were removed) of our dead support forum in the deepfreeze of this cybermorgue..
go ask alice when she's 10 feet tall... this alice is my other self.. she's always there lurking behind me...
papercuts ~
(my poetry & short stories...)
WARNING! this site contains graphic language and subject matter related to self injury...
soon after dark, emily cries... gazing through trees in sorrow, hardly a sound till tomorrow... cosmic debris/emily strange
last.. but not least.. my website.. where all the happy little gumbys & pokeys have come home to gumbyland.. the secret gallery.. and other cool stuff..

the library..

things behind the sun (journals)

a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)

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Go to ghost at the gate's photostream

january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

art albums ~ use a laptop or pc with sound up!

halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved

My Other Accounts

ghost gamelinks..

ghost's top eleven rpg's:
#1 ~ down the rabbit hole... "here's a riddle.. when is a croquet mallet like a billy club? ..i'll tell you... whenever you want it to be..." cheshire cat to alice (american mcgee's alice: the original) this game is my favorite above all others...
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
thank you thank you mr mcgee for alice madness returns!!! (with the original i still rate these the best!)
#2 is primal, especially the wraith world where i felt right at home.. what a relief to play a strong female for a change, and with scree the gargoyle at my side... loved this game and want more!!!
#3 is fable/fable:lost chapters/fable 2.. get lost in this incredible world and determine your own fate... good or evil.. or somewhere in between... fable 3 is out!!!
#4 city of lost children.. based on the french movie of the same name.. you are miette, an orphan, use your thieving and sneaking skills to free the childrens' souls from the evil inventor who is stealing their dreams...
tied at #4 the kingdom hearts games (2).. disney meets final fantasy! play in disney worlds alongside jack skellington in halloweentown, jack sparrow in the caribbean or alice at the mad tea party..
#5 is van helsing.. if you liked the movie, play this gothic masterpiece and face werewolves, the frankenstein monster, mr hyde and count dracula himself...
#6 are all of the lord of the rings games, which are all worth mastering, including the hobbit game.. (watch out for the spiders!)
& the old classic snes lord of the rings.. (another good old favorite.. i spent forever lost in the barrow downs...)
#7 are all the ultima games.. my favorites were 'quest of the avatar' and 'the false prophet'.. but if you like the classics try out 'black gate' and 'exodus' and the other oldies..
#8 is the original nes game shadowgate.. the one that turned me into an rpg junkie in the first place all those years ago.. hunched over my controller in the dark in my camper in the middle of the night.. still a classic...
#9 is final fantasy, but i'm an old time gamer, so i mean the original final fantasy games on nes/snes like 1, 2, 3 + mystic quest.. still the best even without the graphics of the newer games...
#10 is lemony snickett's series of unfortunate events.. ok, so this game is not terribly hard..
(i was able to complete it even while fairly intoxicated..) it is still creative and fun if you enjoyed the movie, which i did...
i needed a #11 on my list for all the honorable mentions.. unforgettable games like wizardry, king arthur's world, tombs & treasures, deja vu, faxanadu, the immortal, breath of fire and the dragon warrior games.. also baldur's gate, the ren & stimpy games that wrecked my nerves, zombies ate my neighbors, fester's quest, maniac mansion!!! ...gasp... too many to remember... aargghh! all those years spent in the dark deep in some labyrinth scribbling cryptic notes and maps.. is that what is was that made me mad? or did they save me from madness...? the world may never know.. (p.s. i never made it without biting..)
!X! a bonus: i absolutely approve of the gamecube's eternal darkness: sanity's requiem.. lovecraftian & hallucinogenic.. i dare you!
the post-apocalyptic fallout games, F3, new vegas & F4 coming soon!
dante's inferno ~ go to hell!
gothic victorian lovecraftian bloodshed :D bloodborne!
i highly approve of the other from software games besides bloodborne, demon's souls & dark souls 1, 2 & 3.. not for the faint of heart, gotta get good for these!

ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

our game gallery..

home to oblivion..

ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
NEW ELDER SCROLLS!!
SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
& more dlc to come!
the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..
come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)
so many ways to die..
realms of madness..
a friend in highcross town..
bonus morrowind footage..
welcome to skyrim..

featured ghosttube..

baby tabitha begs pitifully at the back door.. she now has over 300,000 views!
p.s. i am not a godless soulless monster..

Follow brenda roudebush's board i love cats on Pinterest.

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

self-injury support links..

american mcgee's alice... she looks kinda familiar? ...!
safehaven -
i'm snowballinhell here...
WARNING!* these sites contain graphic language and/or images & subject matter related to self injury...
broken smiles -
i'm snowballinhell here..
WARNING!*
alice through the looking glass.. go ask alice.. i think she'll know..
INVALIDATION kills.
down the rabbit hole..
i'm snowballinhell here..
WARNING!*
this site has links to a whole bunch of self-injury support forums..

x

ghost space

feeling philanthropic? click me ~

« bad dreams.. | Main | splitsville.. »

September 14, 2006

kind to every living creature?

not anymore i guess?
lately i feel like i just gotta keep safe...
(yay.. it's really raining now...
major thunder & lightning & hail!!)

god, i'm just so tired of pain,
just make it fucking stop.. please?

daily smith

the ghost of your smile
is always looking for new
bodies to haunt
and it's been here
and disappeared..
it's hanging around aloofly
for awhile
gradually gone
it's pleasing
and freezing..

well, i wonder what it is
you're after?
keeping company with this
disaster..
you looked all over town
got turned around
to walk back through the mud
the kind you had left behind you

everybody's the same in this
long no-win game
where every new blood gets time
to become resigned..

now i wonder
what it is you're after?
keeping company with this disaster
why you never tried
to tame your master..

you just blow through the coals
blow through the coals
blow through the coals
till everyone knows
that your smile is just a ghost...

12:18 PM in Games, Music, psychology, Weblogs | Permalink

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p.s. next day and more freakish bad dreams.. really strange visit with my mother & father, we were all much younger, i was still smoking, out walking alone in the middle of the night, and they (my parents) seemed like a real angry threat.. then some guy in my dream was bleeding droplets of blood right out of the pupils of his eyes.. really scary.. shit. give me a break, i'm maxed out on tylenol and feeling sick... give me a break! really depressed, but i guess that goes without saying...

Posted by: friendlyghost | September 15, 2006 at 10:18 AM

Thats because you got a letter from your mother, right? Hey, do you think the guy was Susie pissing out her eyeballs? Ha ha ha. But no, really. I brought that up. You think it snuck in?

Posted by: Em | September 15, 2006 at 04:43 PM

oh man! that's right you said that! you snuck that into my subconscious and see...!

my parents are space aliens.. i need a reminder or i start feeling sorry for them..

man, poor susie.. that's definitely misfit material...

em, i laughed so hard about the snowcave/isolation thing, i kinda feel better.. so you made up for that nightmare suggestion..
hee hee!

Posted by: friendlyghost | September 15, 2006 at 05:32 PM

aw, man..
i just got another letter from my mother, she was happy i sent her pictures..
she sent me a nice nice letter.. ..
..
somebody just shoot me..

Posted by: friendlyghost | September 15, 2006 at 09:05 PM

___ . BANG!
/ '

Posted by: Emma | September 16, 2006 at 03:43 PM

still here?

oh yeah.. i'm already a ghost...

Posted by: friendlyghost | September 16, 2006 at 04:01 PM

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lost & found toys

cat girl

xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
seeing is deceiving..
$@x!^&*#%!/
love bites.
life sucks.
"but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
"oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
"we're all mad here.
i'm mad. you're mad."
"how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
"you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
"to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
"i suppose so," said Alice.
"well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
but why is the rum gone?!
***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
crank up your speakers!!

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