circling the drain...

no s.i. - 16 days
no alcohol - 344 days

another migraine.
i can feel my mood already beginning
to circle the drain...

mad world/gary jules
(my favorite song)

all around me are familiar faces
worn out places..
worn out faces...
bright and early for their daily races
going nowhere..
going nowhere...
their tears are filling up their glasses
no expression..
no expression...
hide my head i want to drown my sorrow
no tommorow..
no tommorow...

and i find it kind of funny
i find it kind of sad
the dreams in which i'm dying
are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very, very
mad world..
mad world...

children waiting for the day they feel good
happy birthday..
happy birthday...
and to feel the way that every child should
sit and listen..
sit and listen...
went to school and i was very nervous
no one knew me..
no one knew me...
hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
look right through me..
look right through me...

and i find it kinda funny
i find it kinda sad
the dreams in which i'm dying
are the best i've ever had
i find it hard to tell you
i find it hard to take
when people run in circles
it's a very very
mad world..
mad world...

(enlargen your world)
mad world...

ghost

'this is the way the world ends..
this is the way the world ends..
this is the way the world ends..
not with a bang, but with a whimper..'
t.s. eliot

Comments

[Emma]

It's me.
What the fuck?
What happened over there?
Maybe you could go over and read my post today.
I always seem to be in the dark like some stupid kid too immature to be told what is really happening.

I am your ***triggering!! animation today.

I really cleaned up that post. It was full of FUCKS and well, more FUCKS :) but I took them out hoping to be less confrontational. No one was there though. No one I fear will read what I had to say.

I just think we should keep going. We should just fix whatever is wrong. We should all talk about it and come to some kind of resolution. You didn't come on yet today. I don't know if that means anything or not. Does it?

And I was so close to posting a picture :)

Sigh. I'll be honest. This hurts. Be nice to hear from you.

[friendlyghost]

oh em...
i hope no one else reads this and gets offended, but i gotta tell you, i am supportive and try to diffuse problems 50x over.. and then the 51st time i just need to give someone a straight piece of my mind.. so here's the piece... i invested alot of myself in the new board, and i am disappointed bina was not really interested in running it properly, the last threat to yank the 'spirit' thread just so she'd feel more entertained just makes me think paul's right.. we "were just turds to be kicked around" and it just went so far away from the ad issue that brought us all there in the first place... i thought jonah's writing was lurid & unoriginal, and the pix creeped me out, plus he shopped my photo without even asking permission.. and critiqued others pix like he's some kind of authority... bah!
i'm pretty open minded, kept trying to figure out how to please everyone's interests, but i'm done..
banning alicia, then bringing her back.. then the possibility of her being administrator?!
geez, i just want to stop the fucking stream of emails now, you know? i'm done. you, paul & pete have been really fun to kick around with, i'll miss that..
i'm in my headache now and can't be bothered with all the insanity... backed up my stuff, took my ball back and went home...
come around anytime, though.. you are xtra fun!
luv and x's,
ghost

[friendlyghost]

p.s.
i know now that she was playing us all against each other in pms/emails..
i.e. so & so feels this way, or so & so disagrees with this or that..
a clear betrayal of trust/confidence.. then when she mentioned using a pacifier and giving herself a baby bottle... ?
...
..
.

[Emma]

See, I didn't know all that. Your going makes me want to cry. Actually, I am. But I hear you. I do understand because I've thought a lot of the same things you just wrote. I gotta go ride my bike for a while. Thanks for responding. I'll talk to you soon.
We're still friends. That's good.
Love you too,
Em

[friendlyghost]

em
you oughtta go back and check my posts.. i wanted my pix & everything outta there, so i left a little placeholder...
i hope i got them out before they were all transferred to the 'new' "new" board? i want mutherfucking OUT!
zrcs

[Emma]

To my funny zrcs,
You never fail to crack me up. You got style ghost!

I did not see the PS you wrote until now. Jesus, what a strange experience this turned out to be. I just saw Peeks last posts. That was a heartbreaker.

I didn't realize that the content got copied over to the new site. That sucks. Actually, I don't think there's all that much of me there anyway. Oh, but my POEM! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Wish I was some kind of artist so I could do something with this feeling.

I am awestruck by your stuff, Ghost. I was here the other day looking at the dolls in the rabbit hole - Don't know the title, but its like stumbling into the scene. Like you crane to see the next thing, read the next piece. You feel like you step over the bodies. Really weird. Never saw something like that before. It's feels like more than looking, it's like you enter and walk around.

Hope your migraine is getting better. I never had one but my husband gets them so I know how bad they get.

You know, the AD thing, that was the first time I ever did anything like that-talked to strangers on line. I feel like a fool now - that it hurts. Who would I tell. I won't tell a soul, except maybe one ghost :)
Best,
Em

[friendlyghost]

i felt bad for peek, too.. i pm'd her days ago that i thought she should be careful/take care of herself on the board, 'cause my spider senses were all telling me to, but i never really learn..
the 'victims' installation is very ad related.. if you had your speakers on you were hearing mr smith singing 'son of sam' there.. and my thoughts were along the same lines for myself at the time.. taking out my anger on my poor little victims...
(instead of me)