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a ghost.. a real ghost.. has no need to die.. what is she except a being without access to the universe that she has not yet managed to forget?
~ randall jarrell

i officially talk to myself here in the comments, or to visitors as long as they're not robots.. any comments are welcome ;)
In limbo
rows of never opened doors:
ghost gallery quarantine area (use a laptop or pc with firefox or google chrome browser for essential music, no phones)
all artwork here is copyright protected by vengeful ghosts!
2019 brenda roudebush
all rights reserved..

ghost stories
(blood & butterflies..)

  • these are excerpts from the book toxic & i wrote about our childhood... it's called 'brenda was here'.. let me know what you think/comments? p.s. stories here are non fiction/true. (privately hosted ~ if you're interested in reading this just ask:)

vintage kids can come & visit the ghost toy catalogue here.. (sound up)
the friendlyghost album ~ welcome to my photo album..
we live in wonderland.. :)
i hope you enjoy me & my guys & kitties, the places we go & things we enjoy..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
Beloved sleep
cemeteria album ~
remember me as you pass by.. as you are now so once was i.. as i am now so you will be.. prepare for death and follow me..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved
family tree album ~
this addition to the cemeteria album is especially for my own lost loved ones..
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

a POEtry reading...

my elliott smith lyric page (sound up)
portland haunts album ~
is mr smith haunting portland? come see snaps of elliott smith landmarks & other local spots..
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the library..

things behind the sun (journals)
a mouthfull of razorblades (journals)
ghost at the gate's items Go to ghost at the gate's photostream
Laurelhurst trees
january trees album ~
january trees ~ winter shows her bones.. the tree is the psyche, the spirit, the whole self.. our inner world..
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toxic was here ~
vintage socal, birthdays & halloweens..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved
halloween mini album ~
~ copyright 2015 all rights reserved
Bren alice patreon
ghost pix album ~ rpg videogame screenshots, lol kitties & all kinds of goodies.. (use a pc or laptop to hear my game mix here)

home to oblivion..

  • ok i need a whole section just for elder scrolls~oblivion 'cause i'm playing it and loving it way too much right now.. i am so beautifully lost here living as a vampire & i'm never coming back.
    later ~ 430 hours of gameplay all as a vampire & now i'm stuck in limbo in the deadly glitch.. noooo!!
    update: i'm on the methadone of rpgs for my oblivion withdrawls, it's predecessor morrowind ~ the game of the year edition.. these are now my All-Time favorite rpgs, above all others..
    SKYRIM!! 11/11/11!! DAWNGUARD DLC!!
    & more dlc to come!
    the awful tyranny of the sun shall end..

  • come into oblivion with me & tour my homes.. (note: vampirism has changed my appearance & my invisibility is due to stealth..)

  • so many ways to die..

  • realms of madness..

  • a friend in highcross town..

  • bonus morrowind footage..

  • welcome to skyrim..

ghost closet...

haunted home movies..

ghost charity

ghost space


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August 18, 2006


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OK so my name is not Emma. You are the only person who knows that and I would like to keep it that way. I am upset by your post on RAD and I really want to hear from you. I PM'd you but you did not pick up. And, well...I'm fucking impatient. If you respond, I'll tell you why I picked Emma as my name. (oh, big shit! Hey, I'm desperate and I have no other bait!) I don't want to respond on the forum and I'm sure you can appreciate that. Please respond.


did you happen to follow a bloodtrail here?
i'm done with the humans..
i'm sick.. and i'm not up for fighting..
my health is not good..


Yeah, I thought that was blood. I am sorry you are not well. Would it bother you if I stopped by here to see you? I don't want to invade your privacy. I'd hate to think you were done with all humans. I think my cat is done with me. I had to spray her yesterday with flea stuff and she was so upset and betrayed. She wouldn't come near me she just stood off in the distance meowing at me in the sadest way. I swear she meant to tell me that she was disappointed in me and didn't understand how i could be so cruel. I feel like such a shit, but those fleas were BAD.

Anyway, I'm Emma because its the first Jane Austen book I read and she's my special favorite. Ho hum.

Ghost, I care and I am concerned. If you feel like keeping one human, I'm here. I hate the idea that I am "them". I am me.


my husband turned on me, too and i just crawled way under the house for a while, not feeling well.. my girls hate getting their advantage, crawl under stuff at look at me like i'm the meanest mommy EVER!! but it helps so much.. and i only have to use it like every 3 or 4 mos.
you are welcome at this lonely haunted blog if you like.. but it's kinda quiet and spooky here usually...
i guess i'm just an incureable recluse..


Yay, you replied! :)
Your site IS spooky. And I am a big chicken and some of your topics are my special fears, like Alice in Wonderland - oh boy! I got that read to me once and been creeped out on it ever since and have avoided it all my life. So HA! In a way, I am the perfect visitor, you can scare the hell out of me. I am surprised that I have not had nightmares from this place. I'm sure I will. I'll let you know when I do :) Aww...but I'm having fun too, going to scary places. I am amazed at how talented you are. I like your humor too.

I hope you and your husband patch things up soon. You sound like you are a good pair. I can't bare to have trouble with my husband. I can't do anything until its fixed.

I'm glad its ok for me to come by. If you want someone to listen about anything that is happening, I would be happy to. I never did respond to that post about touch the way I wanted to. If you ever wanted to start that conversation up again just say so. You probably don't feel like doing much now. I understand. Gives me time to keep exploring your cool site.


when i was little i used to sneak into my great grandma's closet and look at the pictures in a very old copy of alice in wonderland.. they completely freaked me out.. alice with a long neck, the cheshire cat, alice with the screaming baby.. like in the random pix album down on the left..


but if you really like scary.. try the poe readings in the middle of the night..
even gives me a shiver...

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my photo albums (sound up!)

cat girl

  • xx xx xx be wild.. xx xx xx

lost & found toys

click to visit my current around the bend album (sound up) photos by ghost 2019 all rights reserved
Note: if the audio does not play on this & other albums please go directly to the ghost gallery or photo album page links in the header, the audio plays perfectly at my website :)

a handful of applecores a mouthful of razorblades

  • i am friendly ~ but i have edges..
  • seeing is deceiving..
  • $@x!^&*#%!/
  • love bites.
  • life sucks.
  • "but i don't want to go among mad people" Alice remarked.
    "oh, you can't help that," said the Cat:
    "we're all mad here.
    i'm mad. you're mad."
    "how do you know i'm mad?" said Alice.
    "you must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."
    Alice didn't think that proved it at all;
    however, she went on "and how do you know that you're mad?"
    "to begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. you grant that?"
    "i suppose so," said Alice.
    "well, then," the Cat went on, "you see, a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased.
    Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.."
  • but why is the rum gone?!
  • ***triggering!! don't look!!!*** (you looked..)
  • beezorch daddy-o! go! kitty, go!
  • ffft! hiss! spit! rah! kill! maim!
  • crank up your speakers!!

little friends..

back in the day ~
back when i was still a snowballinhell, including tabitha's kittens & little daniel..
copyright 2008 all rights reserved

friendlyghost fun & games!!


lost hollow digital art album ~
~ copyright 2008 all rights reserved

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