snowball in hell

please..

so i've been starting to question, do lemondrops even actually melt?
looking back through old pix i still believe our beloved kitties come back to us, like toxic's tabby ditto & my special therapy kitty snug <3 & i came across an old page from my highschool notes that i remember holding up in the schoolbus window on a fieldtrip to passing cars.. lols :D

i can see the end of my life as a vampire in skyrim wrapping up soon, don't really know what world i can escape into next? i'm working on 3 different mini houses & taking on spring cleaning before the real heat closes us in.. haven't ventured out yet for a drive like i wanted because we've been too busy with other things, worried i'm becoming a full-on housebound agoraphobic like i was in the dim past.. but i guess things could be worse?

i keep a glut of photo albums up at typepad here that feel like my time machine: my photo albums (sound up)

meanwhile the lyrics of the day are classic radiohead & my sentiments precisely these days:

a heart that's full up like a landfill
a job that slowly kills you
bruises that won't heal
you look so tired & unhappy
bring down the government
they don't, they don't speak for us
i'll take a quiet life
a handshake of carbon monoxide
& no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
silent, silent

this is my final fit
my final bellyache with
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises
no alarms & no surprises, please..
such a pretty house
& such a pretty garden
& no alarms & no surprises (get me out of here)
no alarms & no surprises (get me out of here)
no alarms & no surprises, please..

ok so this is cool..

more rambling thoughts to ponder in the comments to come..

bren

it's not easy, greenbean..

rough days for me.. but i'm so thankful to my brother-in-law who drove up from socal to put in our new furnace/ac units over the last couple days :)
we haven't seen family in 20 years so it really meant alot to us all to give him a hug, even though i'm in migraine management mode at the moment with that full flower moon looming.. i've always liked sad kermit, & these song lyrics came to me during my latest anxiety attack, perhaps me trying to comfort my own inner kid? but in typical transposed weird ocd style i got the above earworm stuck in my head for awhile.. anyway these are my lyrics of the day.. more in the comments as i can..

it's not easy being green
having to spend each day the color of leaves
when i think it could be nicer
being red or yellow or gold
or something much more colorful like that
it's not easy being green
it seems you blend in
with so many other ordinary things
& people tend to pass you over
'cause you're not standing out
like flashy sparkles in the water
or stars in the sky
but green's the color of spring
& green can be cool & friendly-like
& green can be big like an ocean
or important like a mountain
or tall like a tree
when green is all there is to be
it could make you wonder why
but why wonder, why wonder?
i am green & it'll do fine
it's beautiful
& i think it's what i want to be..

-jim henson

i'm not crying, you're crying..

my echo, my shadow & me..

we three, we're all alone
living in a memory
my echo, my shadow & me

we three, we're not a crowd
we're not even company
my echo, my shadow & me

what good is the moonlight
the silvery moonlight that shines above?
i walk with my shadow
i talk with my echo
but where is the one i love?

we three, we'll wait for you
even till eternity
my echo, my shadow & me..

- the ink spots

 

the sun is shining brightly this spring morning, the wild winds & rain of yesterday seem to be over?

i should be happy? raven is all recovered from his harrowing debacle & now we're focused on putting in our backyard flowerbed/plot, where i'll soon plant my pumpkin seeds & try yet again after years of failure.. baby trees from the arbor day foundation & seed stones are all in place & we'll attempt to sow grass seed for a backyard lawn where we pulled out all the old worn out decking.. hoping for the best.

 

but i noticed after about a day of relief i kinda just crashed back into my baseline lonely meloncholy, missing my girls, feeling sadness & loss, & finding it hard to be hopeful.. i keep trying though.. the song of the day is from the ink spots, it plays here at the end of my fallout76 goodbye youtube from a couple years back.. i miss vault 11 & hope there will eventually be a fallout special edition like they've done with skyrim, if so i'll head back there to rescue kitties from the post apoc wasteland & set up my old lost & found toy & soda shop like the old days? (click links here to visit..)

i'm working on a handful of projects in various stages of completion through the spring & summer, as i shield myself from the heat & sunlight.. i think of my pmle/sun allergy vampirism as a sort of reverse S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) in that i get depressed at the time others feel happy? i see everyone happy & it just makes me feel more alone.. like ok, let's go curl up somewhere in the dark & hibernate till autumn?

except i can't, i have my guys & alice to look after ;) & those pumpkin seeds to tend to..

in socal one dropped seed resulted in an accidental pumpkin i carved for halloween, but here in a rainforest it's been a real challenge..

but mine will be the most sincere pumpkin patch i assure you!

& the great pumpkin will visit one day,

i know this.

i'll post about it next halloween for sure..

 

bren/ghost

more as always in the comments..

 

ghost closet antifashion

antifashion in the time of coronavirus! ~

or subtitle 'yeah this is how bored i got' ~

so 2 years ago in march i posted my 'vault forever, surface never' post here ~

when i decided to have fun with my ghost closet antifashion t-shirts & 'no boring socks' collections ;) ~

as a vintage kid i have an extensive collection of retro & vintage clothing & wanted to bring it out & have some fun ~

so i ran a series of posts over at the lost & found toy blog accordingly ~

with a bunch of unlisted youtube shorts included for your enjoyment & amusement :D ~

starting with t-shirts of course & pants with lots of pockets ~

& ending with a lengthy 'no boring socks' finale! ~

since then i've added updates, so here is the complete finished list of posts, the ghost closet in all of its glory, complete with mysterious toys & my assistant, alice <3 ~

50 something emily the strange?

radioheadhead

everything alice

my music

ghost gallery art

skeletons in my closet

antifashion retro

johnny depp

vintage kids

nightmare before xmas

no boring socks!

antifashion update

more emily strange

kitty socks sunday with alice <3

closet skeleton

sad ghost club & bad kitties

nightmare before xmas update

more strange stuff

emu!

fred rogers

even more emily strange

radiohead & stickers

starry night boots

gothsocks

kittysocks

so happy throwback thursday! continued in the comments as always..

bren/ghost

the pittypats

i've been thinking about my pittypat girls alot lately <3

maybe because it's freezing & i miss sleeping with them all around me at night?

so i thought i'd share their story here ~

it all started with tiny tabitha who we rescued from a local garage that had mama kitties & babies all hiding in the corners, we didn't want her to be alone & we'd already spotted a funny little white siamese mix kitten at our local pet shop so we brought her home too ~

meet tabitha sassafras pittypat & her 'flower sister' sabrina felina ~

we had a secure fenced in backyard down in warm sunny socal back then so at first they were backyard babies, playing in the flowerbeds & having a wild time..

but tabitha wanted to live inside.. so of course we let them in!

they were indoor/outdoor kitties & tabitha had many very cute boyfriends! (sabrina couldn't be less impressed with them..)

& soon she was 'with kittens' <3

sabrina felina was soon to be an auntie..

in spring of 2001 was the blessed event :D dan/raven stayed home from school & we sat with tabitha as she had 5 adorable pittypats, all daughters!

miette, snug, pickles, hepsebah & rose blue..

sabrina loved them just as if they were her own as well of course..

these were the best of times as our pittypats played & had a blast, but we soon realized we needed a bigger place..

so we bought a house! & mr dad closed in our backyard patio to make it a 'catio'.. (long before this was a thing..)

they had a gorgeous green ivy enclosed backyard to play in each day with dan as their shepherd watching over them with the cat toys to keep them safe & happy <3

but we needed a bigger house!! so eventually we tucked them all into their large carriers & drove an rv up here to portland ;)

where they lived the rest of their lives as happy indoor girls..

i love them with all my heart & i know they're still right here with me somehow & that we'll all be together again someday.. meanwhile i comfort myself with all our home movies which just remind me they had the happiest lives of any kitties i've ever known <3

in memory:

sabrina felina (spring 2000 - august 24, 2018) our funny bunny..
miss tabitha ~ (spring 2000 - february 21 2017) my fluffyhead daughter..
hepsebah (boopy lou) (4-26-2001 ~ 8-25-2017) who made giant leaps of joy, our gaming partner..
snugglebug (april 26, 2001 - september 20, 2019) my special cheshire kitty..
miss rose (4-26-2001 ~ 8-02-2019) raven's girl..
miss miette (4-26-2001 ~ 3-31-2015) our hello kitty..
miss pickles (4-26-2001 ~ 2-7-2013) daddy's girl..

toxic had so many wild kitties & we love & remember them all..

now we have feisty alice who keeps us all on our toes!

much more up at my youtube channel & photo albums here..

bren