snowball in hell

from the limbo of lunary souls

update: ghost blog exhumation

i decided to drag the blog out of it's grave after these long last few years & update it. so help yourself & peek around, there are new secret things to discover in every crack & hole in the woodwork, new art trapdoors & albums, most notably a catalogue of ghost toys that we're still working on, toxic is very into vintage golden magazines at the moment.. also new, the clokey kids were kind enough to link gumbyland up to gumbyworld.

when i last posted my health was in decline & i basically spent 2010 sick. i'll spare some gory details here, but basically the drs finally got their claws into me, dx'ing me first with congestive heart failure, then later the cardiologist refined it to cardiomyopathy. i'm on heart meds & back on stomach meds, i even use one of those weekly pill organizers to manage my ocd error checking, but the meds don't help me much. i'm chronically phobic of eating, meal in and meal out, & symptoms never end. today i'm also choking down antibiotic horsepills for a cat bite on my arm that went particularly deep into muscle & got infected. i'm a wretched creature & have been living in near total reclusive hiding, but once in awhile i still feel in touch with my inner badass & that makes me smile.

bdhp was dx'd with diabetes, which he's managing, & daniel got his associate degree at mt hood but has been looking for 2 years for a job, so we're broke & just hanging on by our fingernails in this crazy world of greed & divisiveness. he's smart & well versed in philosophy, social psychology, theosophy & IT stuff & should be going to psu or reed college, but there's no $$$.
i'm just proud of what a fine person he turned out to be.

well, happy halloween to anyone who stops by, we're stocking up/readying for winter/xmas..
ghost/bren
& toxic
we are the 99%                 i am free

snowmiser..

yeah, 'tis the season..
me & toxic are good friends of mr snowmiser:
too much!  

cold comfort
returns
shetearsthetreesdown 
ghost lone fir xmas day
do not bite ?  
do cats eat bats?
ssss  

full of evil weevils..

some people are like slinkies, good for nothing but still make you smile when you push them down the stairs.. - toxic

look around this winchester mystery blog for new nightmares as we wring every drop of halloween outta october.. hehe..

this spider is helping decorate our house for halloween!
(>>clikpix<<)
the not so itsy bitsy spider? 

ghost
p.s. folie de doute
bat house!
lilac house.. 
madness returns   

we might be crooked now..

graves & the infinite arm/
dig yourself a hole throw your asthma in
throw the toys in after.. cover them with earth
dig another hole and throw your conscience in
drop your hiccups down
and arrange them well
dig a deeper hole and bury all those words
bury all the fangs that they bared last night
dig another one and put yourself inside
and just close your eyes.. it's comfortable
crawling through the house in the darkness 
'cause i'm looking for a blanket
yeah i've got another hole to fill now
gotta keep them going
gather clothes and books and photos
gather anything of value
and i'll cover them with dirt and compost
make a place to lay my head
no light in this room
just the glow
from the oven
and the screech of
their laughter is all
that you can hear
if you just close your eyes
(you can pretend it's heaven)
we might be crooked now
but we're even when we grow
if you catch yourself drifting
if your feet leave the ground
wrap your arms around a lamppost
or just drift until you're found
if you could see me now
you'd laugh yourself to stitches
we might be crooked now
but it doesn't matter what we show
because we'll be even when we grow... 

sleep well..

when it's black/
you don't know
where i've been..
don't get me
caught up in the middle..
(gotta live right)
you don't know
what i've seen..
(i've seen you strung up
like a scarecrow
in the moonlight)
you don't know
what i know ..oh lord
take my name ..
you've got my name
now i'm gone.. please
don't you forget my face
you're all i've got
oh.. i'm gone.
you don't know how far
(we'll drag you white-knuckled by the river on a cold night)
you don't know just how cold we've gotten..
our hands.. they're just icicles & dog bites..
(we'll drive you off while you're sleeping soundly on a black night)
no.. not me
i'm not like them.. i'm not like them
i'm not that gone
don't you see?
they're at my door.
all the clouds
are blacker than our pupils, darling..
they are raining ink down
on hills, trees and houses..
when it's black
they'll show up
when it's all black 
they'll show up
once it's black
you'll see
the whites of my eyes
(come get my teeth.)
you don't know where we've been
what we've seen or who we are..
you don't know just what we'll do
we've come for you
we've come for you.

moroaica

ghost   &  toxic

things i say may seem stranger than sunday changing to monday..

when the day is done
down to earth then
sinks the sun
along with everything
that was lost and won
when the day is done.. when the day is done
hope so much your race will be all run
then you find you jumped the gun
have to go back where you've begun
when the day is done.. when the night is cold
some get by but some get old
just to show life's not made of gold
when the night is cold..
when the bird has flown
got no one to call your own
got no place to call your home
when the bird has flown..
when the game's been fought 
newspaper blown across the court
lost much sooner than you would have thought
now the game's been fought..
when the party's through
seems so very sad for you
didn't do the things you meant to do
now there's no time to start anew
now the party's through.. when the day is done
down to earth then sinks the sun
along with everything that was lost and won
when the day is done.
sanguisuga..

(i've been told there's a resemblance?)
 ~ghost
(the mirror thing is a myth.)
p.s.
saturday is free comic day!
get out & grab some..

monster..

what strikes fear
in your heart?
with me it is people
& anything that touches me.

monsters/electric president
into your window the sky will fall
and we'll trap the stars in jars
and line them along your walls
and as the moonlight fills
the veins beneath your skin
you'll hear us knocking
oh, but you won't let us in
'cause you've got no friends
and you've got no heartbeat
your insides are rotten now
so there's nothing to fix
well, you said it often
before you were lost
that it's only a day
that it's only a day
but now you're a monster
and your backbone is soft
because you threw it away
because you threw it away
you called me out
i shrugged you off
i don't have the time
to watch you bash in all their skulls
'cause there's a new boss in town
his heart is black
but his hands can reach through anything
stick your head in the ground
you might just dodge the guns
but i'm not your friend
and i will not fix you
my insides are hollow now
so you're all on your own
but i said it often
before we were lost
that it's only a day
that it's only a day
but now we're a monster
my blood all runs cold
because i threw it away
because i threw it away
and now we've forgotten
and we've sold our blue skies
but there's nothing to say
we'll be gone in a day
and you can't take it with you
(but i can sure as hell try)
now there's
nothing to say
i'll be gone in a day.. 
so...
ghost

i made this for toxic once when i was all sick & feverish..

i want a BeaN fEAsT!!

ghost  is out sick.

gooses! geeses!
i want my goose to lay
gold eggs for easter
   mr. salt: it will, sweetheart
   veruca: at least a hundred a day
   mr.salt: anything you say
   veruca: and by the way
   mr. salt: what?
   veruca: i want a feast.
   mr. salt: you ate before you came to the 
                factory
   veruca: i want a bean feast!
   mr. salt: oh, one of those
   veruca: cream buns and doughnuts
              and fruitcake with no nuts
              so good you could go nuts
   mr. salt: you can have all those things
                when you get home
   veruca:  No, Now!!
               i want a ball! i want a party!
           pink macaroons and a million balloons
           and performing babboons and ...
           give it to me.. rrhh rhhh..   NOW!
         i want the world.. i want the whole world
           i want to lock it all up in my pocket
it's my bar of chocolate.. give it to me  Now!
i want today..
i want tomorrow
i want to wear 'em
like braids in my hair and
i don't want to share 'em!
i want a party with room fulls of laughter and ten thousand tons of ice cream
and if i don't get the things i am after
i'm going to scream!
i want the works.. i want the whole works
presents and prizes and sweets and surprises
of all shapes and sizes and   Now!
don't care how.. i want it now
don't care how.. i want it now!
-toxic

toxic poetry radio 1975
freakies
set phasers to Trip..
this one is just right..
1965

what is up, buttercup?

i've seen them coming!
your time is up.
reckoner ..
i supplicate myself..
take me with you.

chewing bottles..

glory/
i was born
when they took my name
when the world turned wicked
when i joined their game
but i turned upon them
like you always knew i'd do
i sat and dreamed at the foot of your bed
split my skull and reached inside my head
pulled out the pictures
and wished that i'd forget
but you stitched me up then
wiped the blood from off my chin..
now i sit on the rooftop's edge
muddy street beneath my swollen head
trying to forget you
but we've never met
and the sky is ripped from the flying clouds
the chimneys' mouths spewing smoke around
and i can't stop coughing
my lungs just won't calm down
but still i keep grinning
as the blood from my face
stains the ground..
a bird caught in the wires
pleading for help i can't provide
i'm not that big
i hope for the best
but nothing changes.. i'm sorry
i was blessed with bad eyes
there's a lot that i missed
but i don't mind.. i'm not that old
i'll find out what broke me soon enough..

chewing bottles/ my voice
never made it in time
and they hung me out to dry
my words
never bother to rhyme
and i always wonder why
so now i've taken to chewing bottles
to see if i still bleed ..
the king has to beg for his meals
the times just get me down
but i'm just a spoke in the wheel
i'll always be around
and now our plans are just like
trash in the breeze
they never stay afloat for long..
...
another wordsearch:
elliott wordsearch..
elliott wordlist..
- ghost

never forget.. never forgive.

Sweeney Todd is now out in dvd.. so you can buy it and watch it over and over..
speaking of bloody good fun.. have you ever wondered what a true migraine feels like? or what real obsession/compulsion does to you? if you are the masochistic type then just try my little wordgame.. born out of my own twisted hypergraphic sadistic madness, this wordsearch will drive you to want to pluck out your own eyes.. sound fun? here it is in pdf format:
wicked words..
wicked wordlist..
there are 500 words to get you started.. but there are more than 100 secret words.. & some words like 'cut' & 'die' are hidden multiple times! so get out a fine red pen & a ruler and start scratching.. there should be no letters left and you'll end up with a pretty piece of artwork chock full of lovely Xs ..but it never really ends. this nifty little torture device will print out on standard paper.. the devil is in the details..

good luck.. hehe
- ghost / toxic

you died along the way..

homesick/ well.. 
i left my home
on hollow bones
while you were curled
and sleeping
and i wandered far
beneath the concrete star
and slept along
the highways
but even though i've been lost all the time
i've got hooks in my sides that you left there
but you're not the same
you died along the way
now we're ghosts
and we're praying for winter
i found a wheel that squeaks and squeals
and i left it on your doorstep
 'cause i heard that you might be broken too
and i thought it'd keep you company
but even though i've been lost all the time
i've got hooks in my sides that you left there
but you're not the same
you died along the way
now we're ghosts and we're praying for winter..

along the road/
there along the road.. was a tiny home
the yard held dead machines behind it's fences
like they were it's kids
broken down, but still worth a lot to someone
it made me stop and grin

light from a dying moon
it blurs our eyes
and we wear a cape of fireflies
and after the world's in bed
all the ghosts come sing along
but we'll forget them when the morning comes..

and i slept on the ocean last night
i could see you all
and you all were
dancing sideways
your feet stuck to the skies
and i could see the airplanes dance behind your eyes
and i was glad i found the time..

it's snowing here.. - ghost & toxic

we're just the walking dead..

wrapped in piano strings/ 
i saw your father in the hall
his ghost is living in our walls
i heard him crying
while you slept
i heard him breaking things
after you left
i watched you crawl
into my bed
with curses spilling from your head
you said "we're just the walking dead"
so i pulled the trigger and we floated off

  into the air into the air
  into the air into the air
  we're in the air we're in the air
  up in the air up in the air

i used to worry about the time
but i lost my teeth along the line
so i carved the apple from my eye
and gave it to you before i went away..

blood ran into the kitchen sink
your hands and arms are running pink
i sat and watched you as your rings
slipped off and rolled across the kitchen floor

  they cut your eyes wide open
  and bore into your precious head
  my reach don't go that far dear
  but please oh please don't let them in

i sank into the sea
 
wrapped in piano strings

few words could open me

you knew them all..

now i just sleep beneath your floor
my ghost just tries to keep you warm
i've seen the end.. i've lost the war
one day you'll join me here just like the rest..

i hear the engines
they're roaring in our mouths
those metal creatures
are clawing tooth and nail to get out
i see the airplanes
they're pouring from your chest
they fill the air
they burn and bury you just like the rest.. 
- ghost

i must go in, the fog is rising..

i woke up dead..

let the river in/
you.. beneath the bed..
i know all your tricks
i've seen you watching
i've seen you drifting away
i've seen you floating alone
i've seen you disappear
there ain't a cloud in sight
and through the snow and the branches
i can count all your teeth
yeah i can count all your teeth
now the bed's on fire and the ceiling's gone
and your mom & dad
still sing the same old song
don't scare me off now.. i'm your only friend
don't scare me off now.. i'm your only friend
now you're drifting away..
now you're floating alone
and soon you'll disappear
i closed my eyes and saw my father's sins
they covered me like a second skin
i peeled them off and sure i bled it in
and now i'm free to sink my own damn ship
i cut my branch down from my family tree
to start a fire in the livingroom
now the house is just ash..
this time it's sink or swim
let the river in..
if blood is thicker than water then
let the river in..
we might drift aways
but we'll find our way again.

sleepwalking/
i fell asleep in the chair by the fireplace
and i woke up in the kitchen sink
with an umbrella full of holes over top my head
and i fell asleep on the table
with your picture in hand
and i woke up in the cupboard
with some scrapes on my arms
and a mouthful of hell
the chains are rattling in the attic again
and the birds are building nests
in the windowsill
dust had settled over everything
and the ceiling fan still cuts a lazy circle
got a picture on the mantlepiece
of the way that i thought that we'd end up
but it shares no resemblance to that
yeah, this shares no resemblance to that at all
i tore the dreams from my head
and tossed them in the flames
and the smoke smelled like my past
and it stung my eyes
but i was too stubborn to blink and
i slept inside the piano 'til the rain was gone
and i woke up when i saw the sun
and wiped the sleep from my eyes
yeah i knew my time had come
we're all still a part of everything that we were
and we'll all float along with everything
and in turn, we'll all fall apart with everything
we'll learn just what things are like
outside our heads
and i hear them singing .. i hear my name
i feel you tug my skin
and i was happy to fade.. 

it's an ugly life..

toxic doesn't always play nice with her dollies.. (sometimes they bleed.)..but creation and destruction are really the same thing. one more close call without injury.
trapdoor down right.. ghost/toxic

pick apart your pieces
just to watch what makes you tick
scream all you want..
there's no way out of this
you dug yourself a hole.. a crater
trying to get away from your blood
now it's just peace of mind you're dreaming of..
i stumbled through the doorway
and i fell out of my skin
on my nightmares  from your ceiling
and watched you drink them in
i know that you're a bastard now
i know you'd like to bash out my brains
for all my pretty manners i'd do the same
we all need someone to blame..
      i had it there in my hands..
      and now i don't understand..
      but i will do what i can..
      yeah i will do what i can..
           but i don't understand..
           i gotta sleep when i can..
           i had it there in my hands..
           i had it there in my hands..
      but now i don't understand..
      but i will do what i can..
      yeah i will do what i can..
      i really don't understand..
             i gotta sleep when i can..
             i gotta sleep when i can..
             but i will do what i can..
there's always daggers in the back of my mind
and i find.. and i find.. and i find..
they're always waiting till i close my eyes
oh but you'll get yours in time
and you'll whine.. and you'll whine..
and you'll whine..
about how much you don't deserve it
but suck it up yeah we all gotta do our time
and you'll find.. and you'll find.. and you'll find..
it's better just to get it over with
you'll get yours and i'll get mine
an ugly deal but it's an ugly life
it's an ugly deal but it's an ugly life..
you'll get yours and i'll get mine
it's an ugly deal but it's an ugly life..
it's an ugly deal but it's an ugly life..
it's an ugly deal but it's an ugly life...

i feel the winter..

today we took a long drive over to washington state and then took the last remaining ferry back that crosses the columbia back into oregon from puget island.. i'm used to the ocean.. rivers are peaceful and lovely.. it was cold but sunny.. time to say one last goodbye to winter and let summer out of the basement.. oh yeah.. and we finally found our eagle..

winter is coming/radical face
i see the winter
she's crawling up the lawn
i feel her breathing
beneath my palms
she tears the trees down
while curses roll from her tongue
got eyes like anvils
and storms for lungs
     hiding in our house
     sunburn in his mouth
summer's in our basement now
     life beneath the floor
     light beneath the door
     just enough to keep us warm
     don't you let it out
     don't you let it out
     just make sure he's always around
but we're all out of time
nothing left to decide
pack your things up quick
this one can't be fixed
leave the rest of it behind

we push through trees now
our house is covered in ice
our breath falls
from our mouths
like tiny rainclouds
we tug on summer
and he melts
the snow at our feet
she's on our heels
there's never time to stop and sleep
i feel you breathing
i hear you curse my name
i hope that you'll forgive me
one of these days
the sky is bleeding
the fog is thicker than walls
she's wrapped up in it
like cloth on a wrecking ball
everything we stole
everything we broke
everything we bought is gone
a couple dumb mistakes
bigger than we thought
nothing left to do but run
if i could put it back
fill in all the cracks
nothing there i wouldn't change
but wishing never helps
wishing never helps
wishing never solved a thing
you were right..
yeah, you were right..

haunted/radical face
i can hear the car
as it rumbles up the driveway
but i'm too scared to look
so i curl up beneath the window
and i pray they won't find me
and i pray that i'll keep still
i see your face in the glass
with branches growing from your mouth
you wear the moon like a halo
you wear the night like it's your coat
and you're always laughing
but you always look afraid
..i think we're haunted 
hands against my eyes
i hear you crying
in your sleep
i think we're haunted
       (clouds are coming
        down the chimney)
that we're never alone
       (and trees are falling
       through the livingroom)
i think we're haunted
       (the moon is stuck in the ceiling)
and we're swimming through ghosts
       (the rain is pouring on the diningroom)
yeah i think we're haunted
       (clouds are blowing up and down the walls)
no we're never alone
       (water's flooding on the kitchen floor)
i think we're haunted
        (the woods are all taking it back
         we've overstayed our welcome
                 ..it's time we were gone)
- ghost

love bites.

vintage vampire killing kit..
^^get it while you can^^

welcome home / radical face
sleep don't visit
so i choke on sun
and the days blur into one
and the backs of my eyes
hum with things i've never done

sheets are swaying
from an old clothesline
like a row of captured ghosts 
over old dead grass
was never much but we've made the most
..welcome home

ships are launching
from my chest
some have names
but most do not
if you find one please
let me know
what piece i've lost

peel the scars
from off my back
i don't need them anymore
you can throw them out
keep them in your mason jars
..i've come home

all my nightmares
escaped my head
bar the door
please don't let them in
you were never
supposed to leave
now my head's
splitting at the seams
and i don't know if i can..

(((here beneath my lungs
i feel your thumbs press
into my skin again..)))

hey! watch the lunar eclipse with me & toxic - 7pm wed..

the strangest things /
radical face

the ghost inside my head..
it never sleeps
it just rearranges thoughts &
leaves me numb for weeks
but i'm okay.. yeah i feel fine

because i know there's more than one way to lose my mind.. lose my mind.. lose my mind.. lose my mind...

the crows are at the fence.. they never blink
they just sharpen
all their claws
and bare their twisted teeth
but i won't bend
and i won't move
don't have a lot left..
just anger..
and something to prove
so i can't lose.. so i can't lose.. so i can't lose..

the cold spreads through the house
it bites my ears.. i can't feel my hands or feet
and i'm too scared to sleep
and now the ghosts are on the porch
got knives in their hands..
oh no.. i think i've seen this before
and i might lose.. and i might lose.. and i might lose..

and all this time i've been watching you sleep
and the strangest things
have been happening to me..
and all this time i've been watching you breathe
and the strangest things
have been happening to me..

                     valentine love,
                      ghost & toxic

p.s. passion haiku! >>